okay so its not finished but this is wat i have so far.....
do u hate liers?
ones that keeps secerts from the world and u of all
this secert i have that u dont no
this secrt that came crushing down on u
like a boulder,the world is now on ur shoulders
jus like back then
remmber when all i did was cry
i couldnt help but sit and wonder why?
why me of all,i dont no
but wat i do no is it was my decision
no ones but mine,forever and always
i cant change it now,no matter how much i want to
im jus gonna have to make it through my pain
o dont cry for me cuz ive done my years of cryin
swallowed and still makin through my strain
some might think its all a game
but this is real
true pain that i have
and believe me nor u or i can do change this cuz ive already tried
hopefully ill forget
and one day leave this in the past
though they say ur past is wat made u wo u are now
so if this is true im a strong,beautiful,smart,independent person or shall i say woman cuz their
2006-10-11 11:58:54 · 7 answers · asked by mia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
is no child in here from wat i no
no child could bare this guilt
but for now im gonna put this part of my past locked away in my in my little box of secerts
cuz no matter how much i dont wanna say it
it will always be APART of me,thats wat i'd like to think
but then i'd be indinile
it'll never be me whole cuz thats not who i am,but it is a small part of me that makes me whole
makes me who i am
makes me,me
wat else can i say i can only be bree!!!!!!
p.s.this poem was inspired by my inner most thoughs and pain,so love it or hate it
it dosen't matter to me
just except it thats all i ask!!!!
snap,snap,snap 4 the poet(im no poet this is lik my 3rd serios poem ive ever wrote)
2006-10-11 12:13:22 · update #1
Me being a writer i feel that your poem shows great potential and it has a lot of feeling and the great thing about poems is they can be about anything poems have no restrictions.Keep writing you're good at it.
2006-10-11 12:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Jaybezchild 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if all the great poets would have been so great if they used stuff like "u", "cuz", and "jus". "Jus" think, you have spell check, they didn't! I'm not normally one to say anything about spelling but since it's a poem you obviously put a lot of feeling into you could at least spell things all the way instead of internet speak.
I'd give your poem a 4 outta 10. You said it wasn't done and all though there is a lot of feeling it's also a bit dull.
2006-10-11 19:09:56 · answer #2 · answered by Gypsy Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOUNDS OKAY, BUT WHEN YOU READ IT, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE UNSURE OF WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO SAY. KEEP WORKING.
2006-10-11 19:08:54 · answer #3 · answered by 2"CUTE"2B30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RU aaight??? It was very emotional
2006-10-11 19:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by FeeLnUFeeLnMe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad I dont get it though, maybe you could explain it to me
2006-10-11 19:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by smitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
needs more work!
2006-10-11 19:08:46 · answer #6 · answered by jose_valle76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
50 outta 10
10 points please
2006-10-11 19:34:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋