My dad was diagnosised with bi-polar syndrome Type II along with manic depressive tendencies and a touch of schitzophrenzia. He has had issues for a long time with taking medication and being emotionally unavailable. I am in my early twenties and some of my family is saying that I need to have some form of a relationship whereas I am thinking of cutting all ties. He has emotional issues that make it impossible for me to have any kind of relationship with him as he has no real regard for my feelings or anyone elses outside of his own. Basically he has spent the last eight years of my life acknowledging my brothers and me whenever it is most convenient for him to do so. He has paid no child support and hasn't contacted me or anyone else except for maybe once to twice a year since i was in my early teens.
2006-10-11 11:57:24 · 6 answers · asked by espressoaddict22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he has a medical condition that affects his behavior, but the choice is yours all the same to do as you wish relative to any relationship you wish to have with him. if he has no regard as you say, it will not matter to him
2006-10-11 12:03:37 · answer #1 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His condition is not by choice. No one chooses to have "bi-polar syndrome Type II along with manic depressive tendencies and a touch of schitzophrenzia", therefore you should not hold him accountble for all of his actions. He may have lucid moments where he will express how the "real" him feels for you. You, on the other hand, DO have a choice. Even though he has not been there for you and your siblings as you would have liked him to be, he still deserves a fair chance to be a father in whatever capacity he can. By excersing YOUR choice, you can give him the opprotunity to do so.
2006-10-11 19:25:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please give your father a chance. I work with the mentally ill and the reason that they're emotionally unavailable is because of their symptoms. Perhaps he is paranoid and is afraid of contacting anyone.
Having a mental illness is one of the worst things anyone can suffer from. I can't begin to tell you how many of our patients at the agency have been shunned by their families or their families have given up on them not understanding that this is part of the illness.
Again, give your dad a chance. I know that you must be hurt and resentful. Go on the internet and study his illness. What he has is called schizoaffective disorder which is schizophrenia with a mood disorder (bipolar). You can't have a touch of schizophrenia. He either has it or he doesn't. My guess is that he's paranoid and has isolated himself from everyone. Not just you and your brothers. Let us know how things go and good luck. You'll feel much better if you do this.
2006-10-11 19:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by oliverbenji 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to find the answer for this one in your own heart. You need to realize that with these conditions it is impossible for your father to be what you need/wanted. You have to come to peace with that for yourself. Then you make a decision if you want to be in his life or he in yours...there is no easy answer and none are truly right or wrong. It all boils down to what you can live with and what is best for you to live a happy life regardless of what other family members do or think. You need to deal with the question one way or another. It isn't going to be easy and there will always be someone that disagrees with your decision. It is your life....live it as you will. Best of luck...
2006-10-11 19:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you do is your choice. You don't need to self-less. You have suffered and you are still suffering. There is no way to escape it. Get to a place that makes you happy and confident and then and only then reach out to your dad if only to forgive him. And, then just let him go on his way. Nothing you do will make him better. Forgiving him will make you better.
2006-10-11 19:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by BParker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the fact that he is ill and is probably full of issues. It is up to you whether or not you want a relationship with him.
2006-10-11 19:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by nancy e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋