My best friend for 5 years now is getting married and she asked me to be her maid of honor, but everything I do to try and help my friend her mother steps in and says "no way". We went shopping for dresses and everything me and my friend thought was elegant or atleast worth trying on her mom would say looked like she was having a shotgun wedding...... I mean come on! Every idea I have is just thrown out the window! Is it okay to finally give in and tell the woman to let her daughter decide and quit giving me hell? I really just want to curse her out....
2006-10-11 11:43:19 · 14 answers · asked by melissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have spoke to my friend about this and she just says "well you know how mom is.... "
I dont want to stress her out on something like this! Oh and her mom makes sure if we have a weekend planned for the two of us, that she shows up unannounced and ready to pounce!
2006-10-11 11:52:18 · update #1
It is your friends wedding day, and she should get, and have the type of wedding she wants. In private, why don't you say to your friend, why are you taking your mom, with you, to get the dresses? Why don't you let her take care of the decorating, or flowers, of course she and the groom still have the final say. Just say it is not working with her in on picking out the dresses, what are you going to do? But it is not your place to approach her mom!
2006-10-11 11:52:28 · answer #1 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do NOT curse her out - even though she sounds rather controlling and frustrating, she's your best friend's mom and that would only drive a wedge between you and her. Think about how the wedding would go if you did that - tense? Yup.
So here's what you do. You sit down with your best friend and tell her how you feel. You're the maid of honor and that entitles you to an opinion. However, since she's the bride she has the final say. Tell her that since this is her wedding, you will honor any decision she makes, but that you feel belittled by how her mother treats your ideas. Suggest an outing with just the two of you where you can make the decisions together without the mom around. Even if it's something small - work with her on it. I'm sure she's not having an easy time dealing with a controlling mother either. And let's face it - some moms dream of their daughter's wedding and end up controlling it to fit what they want. While it's wrong to do that, you can't change her.
And besides - as the maid of honor, you get to make ALL the decisions about the bachelorette party! Take what you can get - and be as happy as you can be. But don't stop offering suggestions - let this mother know that you were invited to be involved and you will stay involved as long as your best friend wants you to be. No need for a stand off.
2006-10-11 11:50:26 · answer #2 · answered by Stella Bing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what the bride wants. If the bride is taking it all and not saying anything then you should just take a step back and let the bride make the final decisions. It isn't up to you to tell her mom to back off. The bride should be making the decisions she wants. It also depends on if her mom is paying for the wedding. Usually the one that is paying for a particular item or part of the weddind has the say. Just take a deep breath and be there for your best friend and try to help make her day the way she wants it.
2006-10-11 11:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by vancie121 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people love to take control. She probably means well. As far her showing up unannounced, maybe the next time you should suddenly change plans at the last minute. Or just tell her that you won't have time for her. Good Luck. Of course this is just my opinion.
2006-10-11 15:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by tina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough one. ME, I would politely talk to the mother and let her know that it isn't her wedding. And her daughter should have the last say. And if things couldn't or wouldn't get better then just let them know when they came to a decision to let you know and the go and get your fitting. You may not like what they picked out but it isn't your wedding. That will make it less stressful on you and still keep the peace.
2006-10-11 11:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by slanteyedkat 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sort of sounds like lots of those people commenting on what went down between the Mayweathers have the suited kin. on the top of the day ALL households have their very own matters and have interaction with one yet another of their very own unique procedures. Will this ruin the Mayweather's kin? in all probability not! Do the cameras blow it up much extra? sure. on the top of the day i for my area won't decide
2016-10-16 02:21:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not ok to finally give in and tell her off. This is your BF's mom and family is usually forever. You talked to your friend, that's about all you can do. Mention it one more time to your friend, maybe print this question and show it to her. Good luck.
2006-10-11 12:30:48 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be disrespectful, but your best friend should say something to her mother! For God's sake, it's her wedding!!! Let her shine. Let her wear whatever she picks. I would suggest you talk to your friend and have her do the talking.
2006-10-11 11:46:06 · answer #8 · answered by Your Wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask the friend how she would feel about this. I agree she needs to let her daughter decide it is HER wedding. Good luck.
2006-10-11 11:46:22 · answer #9 · answered by Heidi B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend to get a backbone and say something to her mother. Its her wedding not her mother's. I think its up to her to say something not you.
2006-10-11 11:56:17 · answer #10 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋