i have been doing overtime at work and am really upset because people are saying my son will forget who i am?

Question

is this true i cried all day because i love my little boy to bits i just need a bit extra money for me and my son do you think i am wrong for doing extra hours and am i am bad mum for doing so

Answer 1

Don't beat yourself up please don't. My partner works while I stay at home looking after our 2 and a half year old and a 5 month old daughters. He leaves for work at 5am and he isn't home until 4pm at the earliest plus works Sat's. The girls miss him terribly and they never forget him, certainly not. How can kids forget their parents when they are living together? no matter what amount of time you spend together. My partner takes our eldest out into the garden and has her help water the plants as a means of spending time together just the 2 of them. My eldest daughter turns around and tells me I don't like you mum because she's not getting everything she wants. I reply back I'm sorry to hear that but I still love you. she doesn't get to see my parents very often, maybe 4-5 times a year and she always asks about Nana & Nanu and their doggies. I tell her they are at home where they live and she's happy with that, usually follows with a I love them lots. My father was scared she would forget them so I have a photo of my parents with my daughter and she see's it every morning when she wakes up. Yet my partners parents who live 5 minutes away are only remebered by my daughter as can I go to Nan and Pop's so I can have my lollies? So don't beat yourself up. No matter whether your a stay at home mum or working mum all your kids want is time with you even if it's 5 minutes. I saw an idea on Supernanny about children keeping a journal (even a notebook will do) the kids write in what was their favourite part of their day and why and even if you and your son have something like that. He may surprise you and say I liked it with Mummy read me a book before bed time? you just never can tell what your child will come out with you. If you could maybe do anything that will spark an interest in him depending on his age of course, get him to help in getting dinner ready. My daughter loves making scrambled eggs even if she doesn't like eating them (mum & dad take care of that)it's the fact she made something all by herself and we reassure her she does something by using words of Your've done a terriffic job or that was Wonderful, you did a fantastic effort. At the end of the day so long as your son knows you love him and you spend just a bit of quality time together even if it's only 30 minutes before bed time reading and talking he WILL remember that. All the best to you and your son. You ARE doing a GREAT job and don't let anyone make judgement on you. They don't know your life after work and it's none of their business anyway.

Answer 2

Children never forget their parents.
Ever.

You could be the worst parent in the world, whos only seen your child a few times. Or a parent who spends every second with your child, and is a 'perfect' parent. But, a child never forgets their parents. Especially, Mom.

As children grow, they'll never know the difference of whether you're working overtime, or not. The child will only know that, that's just the way it is. Maybe when your son is older, he may look back and wish you were around more often. As long as you're there for the important and memorable events, and as long as youre a decent parent-- You'll mold your child into a great man some day.

I'm a strong believer that children are a product of their childhood, and that the involvment and awareness of parents shapes the mentality of children when they grow up.

Those who say that you're working too much, are only right to some degree. Having the overtime will help financially to provide for you guys, and that's supporting your family's future. That's great.
Just don't get addicted to the overtime, and be one of those parents who doesnt even know who their kids are!

Answer 3

There are some cruel and ignorant people out there. You're not a bad mum at all. You're trying your best to earn extra money so that you can raise him well. To me this seems like a far better plan than living off the government !

Remember, as others have said, that it's the quality of the time you spend with your son, not the quantity that is the most important. There are people who don't work, and spend all day at home with their children but barely interact with them at all.

Your son will not forget who you are, he's lucky to have you.

Answer 4

No he will not forget who you are, he will miss you, but he wont forget.
My hubby works out of town lots and thinks the same thing.
But whenever he calls I put it on speaker phone and let my son hear him.
Maybe you can call your son on breaks and have the sitter put it on speaker phone.
Maybe you shouldnt be so concerned with making "extra" money right now, spend all the time you can with him and when he is in school then work more.
If your rent is too much, consider moving, maybe even to a bachelor suite, save all your extra money and when he is in school you can buy a small home with all the money you saved?
Like a nice down payment.
I dont know.
Where do you work?
Your not a bad mom at all, but where is the father, do you get any child support?
You should!
email me.

Answer 5

Ignore these cruel people. I am lucky enough to work from home (childminder) but everyone has to make a living apart from those lazy idle dole scroungers!!
I think your son will grow up knowing that his mum has values and has raised him to be a hardworking and honest individual. Also lots of extra cuddles and quality time should help, both you and him. Good Luck and hope the miserable lot pick on someone else soon!

Answer 6

Your son will love you no matter what. Just because you have a job and where you can get extra money is good. Trust me you and your son have a bond between yall that he will never forget you.

Answer 7

No of course he won't forget you. It is really tough for working mums, do you have any support at home, if you are a single parent it's doubly hard, because if you don't work people accuse you of being a scrounger, and if you do work people say you're not spending enough time with your kids!!

Seriously though, don't take any notice of these idiots, they're just being cruel.

Answer 8

Awwww aren't ppl cruel. He wont forget silly. Oh and if he's old enough to appreciate it, spend a bit of the overtime money on him, and if he aint, put it aside for a rainy day for when he is.

Make sure you don't keep up the hours though if they are excessive.

Answer 9

You are settiing your son an example by working for your money. As long as your son is happy with the people looking after him, and you make sure you have quality time with him, he will be fine. I work on a checkout, and I know how much things cost!

Answer 10

Your son will never forget who his mother is. Do not feel guilty for working overtime, you are doing this for your son and yourself. If you need it, then do it. You will have plenty of time to make it up to him.