My husband is a minister. He does a good job, and 90% of the church likes him. The 10% that don't, however, are the ones who have control over the finances and the budget. For the second year in a row now, they have not given us any kind of raise, and we weren't making much money in the first place. Now we have a daughter who has government health insurance. We qualify for food stamps, but haven't gotten them.
Now I am going to have to move back in with my parents because they don't pay us enough to pay our heating bills this winter. It is really quite sickening. I have totally questioned my faith since coming to this church, and I no longer wish to associate with this denomination. We are stuck in it for now, but does anyone have any ideas how to handle the situation? I don't want to be separated from my husband for 4 months.
2006-10-11 10:43:43 · 10 answers · asked by mountain_laurel1183 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
oh, we are leaving asap, btw.
2006-10-11 10:44:27 · update #1
oh, yes, they DEFINITELY have the money to pay us enough to afford our heating bills. YES, it is about serving others, but it is a JOB too. Should we cease to pay doctors because they are there to serve others? They may be overpaid, but that is no excuse to underpay someone. If you are busy worrying about how to afford groceries, you aren't serving nearly as well as you otherwise could.
Sorry, I am not asking to be rich, but to pay my bills like heating, water and groceries. No extras, even cable. And I am TRYING to find a job, but having difficulties finding anything that will make me a profit after paying for daycare. My husband is a full time student and doesn't have time for another job.
I hope someday that some of you are judged as harshly as you have judged me.
2006-10-11 11:10:42 · update #2
I'm very sorry for this problem your having, I pray you'll get through it.
If it is possible to leave the church, then even though you and your husband may not like it, you should probably leave when a new job is available. I'm sure that there is many other churches that will glady accept your husband for a minister if available. Try looking around
It is very unfortunate that this 10% doesn't like him. Maybe try finding out why, to see if there is a good reason for them not liking him. If there isn't really a reason, thats their fault for missing out on you two, not yours. Still be kind to them though, it may be hard but its the right thing to do and i might help you out.
Don't let this make you lose your faith. To me, thats the greatest thing that will help you out. I'm sorry I couldn't be much help. I will be praying for you and your husband, and if I have any better answers I will give it to you A.S.A.P! Good luck!!
2006-10-11 10:58:19 · answer #1 · answered by bouncy_tigger 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't judge God based on how some of His children are not doing His will. I know this is a very hurtful situation, but God isn't responsible and will repay those in the wrong. I agree that he needs to talk about it from the pulpit. There should be people in the congregation willing to come up with direct donations to help you if nothing else. He could talk about a family who needs help and ask describe your situation, like Nathan did to David over Bathsheba, then reveal that it's his family he's talking about. No minister's family should qualify for food stamps!!!!
2006-10-11 17:54:28 · answer #2 · answered by Teddie M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bring it up to the entire congregation maybe they can put some pressure on the committee or whatever but, do not let the 90% go without knowing about it or take up a separate collection just for utilities tell them..."The worker is worth his wage" I would still leave the denomination if they left you out to dry like that.
2006-10-11 17:50:24 · answer #3 · answered by Midge 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to read of your difficulties. I take it that your congregation is prosperous enough that the board/finance committee should be able to afford to pay its minister more but simply won't. Can't he seek a position with another church within the same denomination? I think going directly to the congregation--though I wouldn't think from the pulpit--is the right next step. If he's as admired and beloved as you believe, they'll find a way to keep him.
2006-10-11 17:48:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take the public assistance. Serving is not about the income, it is about doing good work. Many ministers and their wives have jobs to support the family instead of relying solely on the parishioners to support them.
Blessings )O(
Edit: I am clergy and I receive no payment at all from those I serve, so I feel I am in a fair position to advise!
I am called in the middle of the night, perform weddings, funerals, hold hands of those that need comfort and teach.
2006-10-11 17:53:37 · answer #5 · answered by Epona Willow 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
whatever your denomination is you should have a head office for it within your place of residence,or somewhere within your state. locate them and bring this to their attention, inform the 10% who are responsible what you intend to do and see if before you go to a higher authority see if they are willing to resolve the issue within the parish,if not take action and let them know that you are doing so. for example my in-laws go to church in ivanhoe(a small town in ca) but the main office is in fresno by the main leader. same as my catholic church. hope this helps or you resolve the problem soon. you might just need to move to another church.either way good luck and god bless.
2006-10-11 18:07:33 · answer #6 · answered by fenian1916 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read a recent article about how ministers no longer have to pay property taxes.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/11/business/11religious.html?ref=todayspaper
Remind me why I'm to have sympathy for your position again?
2006-10-11 17:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Have him put it in the pulpit. If he can't trust his congregation then he's ministering in the wrong place.
2006-10-11 17:47:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a REAL job like the rest of us and quit your whining.
2006-10-11 17:45:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I need more information. Please email me at pmzenz@yahoo.com.
2006-10-11 17:47:21 · answer #10 · answered by petezsmg 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋