I am not a single mom...but why do people tend to disprectful single?

Question

moms more so than hitched ones?
I have noticed alot of people look down on single moms, which I think is stupid, singles moms get more **** than the dads who left their kids or dont pay any childsupport.

It does piss me off though, even if i AM NOT one but still. Nobody really ever gives the shithead dads who left grief, only single moms, even ones who are welfare.

Like any mom wants to be on welfare, alot of ppl dont realise that it took something bad for them to get there, alot of broken promises by the men who got them pregnant.

Answer 1

I don't know why they are looked down on because let me tell you they have to do it ALL! GO SINGLE MOMS - MORE POWER TO YOU BRAVE WOMEN!

Answer 2

I am a single mum of 2 children and was married to my ex for 5 years before he decided to sod off and live with someone else after we had moved 320 miles across the country! I have been on my own with my 2 children now for 2 years and am slowly rebuilding my life if this area, I haven't gone running back to my family and dumped the kids on them and I never ask for help! The kids see there dad once every 2 months and even then he isn't that interested.
What really annoys me is the attitude of people when I tell them I am a single mum most of them can't wait to get away fast enough (like I'm diseased) or they automatically assume that my life is a bed of roses and I spend all day sitting round drinking tea.
I have been out twice since Christmas last year and that was when I went to visit family, i am a full time mum 24/7 who can't even pop to the shop for a pint of milk if I run out after the kids go to bed.
So for everyone that thinks being a single mum is a doss GROW UP and think about what it really entails :)

Answer 3

I think that people are just insensitive. Some times parents can't help that they are all of a sudden raising children by themselves. I am not a single parent but, I ran a daycare for almost 10 years. My view is single parents usually never get an occasional relief from the spouse where those of us are married actually get that occassion. Single parents have to do everything usually by themselves. I know my mom raised three girls by herself. I was old enough to understand that she had it rough and life is not easy. In a way I am glad my mom raised us that way. It taught us many life lessons such as money is not everything. Make the best of any situation, and work hard for your goals and dreams. My mom worked two jobs to be sure we had food on the table, clothes, and a place to live. Everything was not perfect but, who's life really is? I think more people should take lessons from single parents and realize that most likely they have it twice as hard as parents who are not single. If some of these people that behaved that way could only see a glimpse into the life of single parents maybe then they would realize that they should have the upmost respect for single parents. I think people that say things or look down on single parents are just trying to hide the problems in their own life.

Answer 4

I know there are two sides to a lot of stories , especially regarding single moms and the circumstances which lead them to their dilemmas . I have been around a lot of single moms and what I say will be based on discussions with them .
I really empathize with the lot who were married and left behind by there mates, some of them actually show incredible strength of character , knuckle down and become totally independent and make it . The other batch slump to total dependency and unforgivable behaviors and they are the group that give the entire batch a bad name .
Then there are the young ladies who 'slip up ' with immature guys . Unfortunately a lot of them are immature themselves and make a lot of mistakes that are immediately reflected in their kids' lives . Society is then made to bear for bad behaviors and out of control kids . This is where the 'disrespect' for you single moms creeps in. The minority keep it together and big ups to you .
All in all a little patience by ladies in the future before choosing which guy they want to give their all both sexually and in marriage will help to counter this stigma . You should be able to tell if a guy is cheap , low dodge or irresponsible by his job and coworkers attitudes towards him , his peers and his family's values .Also his opinions on critical social issues.

Answer 5

Here Here!! My wife and I know single parents (Mums) and they looked down upon regardless of their situation or what put them in the sinle parent role in the first place. Where I come from there are support groups for sinlge parents to meet and discuss their problems, exchange ideas and find help from particular agencies.

It is very hard for single mums to raise their kids whether they are on welfare or working. It is time for opinions to change and it also time for people to stop being so judgemental of others. In Australia, so-called "dead-beat Dads" have been getting alot of adverse media attention recently and there is a lot of push to make them more accountable to make their child support payments and force them under child support laws.

Single parents - both mums and dads - need special commendations for their efforts not condemnation.

But having said that, there are many single mothers who have children just to get the extra benefits. In Australia, a woman gets $4000 for every child-birth and now we have girls as young as 14 getting pregnant to just to the money....now that's just wrong. And its these people who give the legitimate single mothers a bad name.

Answer 6

Probably because 90% of them are on welfare. It disgusts me that women WHO have no men can sit at home all day with their kids while I have to work. They take money out of MY paycheck to give to these lazy women. Isn't there something wrong with this picture? I would love to go back to being a stay at home mom but can't when the government is taking 1 /3 of my check and giving the money to lazy women so they can be with their kids. How is it that you can't work because you're a single mom? My mom did it, my fiance's mom did it, and I have a lot of family members that did it withOUT welfare.

Answer 7

well i am a single mum, and i do find ppl look down on me, especially the older generation. but let me just say that single mums r not slappers and r not irresponsible, we r more responsible than alot of ppl r, we bring up fantastic children and r more proud cos we know we done it ourselves. i agree i dont understand y the men that father these children (at least sperm wise any way) dont get any of the abuse, in society views single mums r bad mums but the men who done the business (and in my case tampered with the protection) r right to leave cos its obviously not there problem. well stuff the lot of them, i say single mums rule, we do it our way and get good results so who needs a man anyway? xxx

Answer 8

I'm not a single mom, and I DO NOT look down upon single moms!! Single moms are great! I have several friends who are single moms and they are awesome moms at that!! YOU GO SINGLE MOMS... HANG IN THERE.. YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB!!

The only thing I see with single moms is that they go out more. This is from my expereince... my expereince consist of single moms who are around the age of 21. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with going out occasionally... but I do see something wrong with going out all of the time and ditching your child with family members. And also bringing in different guys around your child too.. that one upsets me also. No offense to anyone. Just my opinion.

Answer 9

Thanks for posting this question. There are still a lot of prejudices out there assuming that single parents live in tower blocks and deliberately get pregnant to get a house. What bullocks. Most single parents come from failed relationships and are doing a good job as I can see in my neighbourhood, as they often have to work around the school run.

Answer 10

I think just recently single moms have been picked on more because of situations like my husbands ex.....the minute they separated(they both wanted it) she was collecting like 3/4 of his paycheck until the divorce was final, he had to pay to move her **** out, then even agreed to pay her $200 more a month in child support than the courts said he had to. Since the separation and divorce, he has not missed one payment of child support(it's been 3 yrs). Immediately she hooked up with some schmoe to help her pay her bills so she wouldn't have to work...and she ended up marrying like 5 months later. She has NEVER held a job for longer than 2 weeks since the separation, and has only even tried to work like 4 times...basically living off the child support. ALSO she plays stupid games with him, and uses the children in her stupid games(ie. not letting him talk to them for months, or refusing to let him see them even though he's paid his CS religiously). I know, everyone says that you can go back to court, but her grandfather is filthy rich and well after the divorce and just getting married to me-we don't exaclty have the funding to fight an out of state court battle. We use most of our extra money to go back home and visit family. Its been 1 1/2 yrs since my husband has got to see his daughters because the ex wouldn't let him see them during thanksgiving of last year.

Answer 11

There are some cases where the baby is born into a loving family, but for unfortunate circumstances, the parents drift apart and split up. This is regrettable but represents the minority of cases, though.

Mostly the baby is conceived in unstable relationships, or by teenage mothers, or by parents who clearly are not suitable to be parents. A little bit of foresight would prevent these sad situations.