Okay so heres the thing.... theres this guy i have liked for a year and a half. K? And i dont mean just like, i mean stalk and obsess over as well. Anyways, today he asked someone else out,[and was rejected by the way.] and though im glad she said no im still upset. because, would you be too if out of nowhere the reality that your crush clearly isnt interested hit you? I seriously saw this comming. I really did. I had heard rumors he had a crush on her, but i thought just rumors what do they know? i was wrong. Is this a reason to give up all hopes on him? I dont know. See, he fits all the requirments. What do ya do when he is the one for you, but you so clearly arent the one for him? i am so lost and i need help. and one other thing, i want to love him, but i feel that emotion slowly slipping away from him. I need so much help. Please!
2006-10-11 09:42:59 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OK so you like this guy for over a year and obsess and stalk him. It sounds like you like him from a distance. you don't say you if you talk to him or if he tries to talk to you. how do you know if you are not the one for him if you just try to hear things about him through friends and other people. love is about getting to know someone, how they think and feel. It sounds like you got your heart broke before you got to know him.
2006-10-11 10:12:54 · answer #1 · answered by Adam B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While 1 1/2 years is a fair amount of time, if this type of "crush" hasn't matured by now then you either step up and say your piece or pack it up and move on.
It's not healthy for you to obsess and all this tme you've been emotionally committed to this guy you might have passed up on "the right guy."
No one can say it'll be easy, but there is no "perfect" person but there can be a person with great potential just for you.
You'll be in denial if you feel that he's the perfect catch but you can take a long look in the mirror and see what it is and what you can do to make him see something special in you. If the emotion for him is "slipping away" as you say, then you have made up your own mind. Better to learn that now then later down the road...You don't need help, just confidence!
Good luck... and as the saying goes, don't look for love...when you least expect it, it will find you!
2006-10-11 09:57:09 · answer #2 · answered by vikingsonsltw 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my - I know just what you mean - I have been there before, and it's really, really hard. The thing is, when you're so obsessed, as you say, with one person, you end up blocking yourself off from anyone else. There could be a wonderful guy in your life who's just hanging around, waiting for you to open your eyes and notice him, but you're distracted by this other guy... There's a great saying, which I try to remember, which is 'What's for you won't pass you' - as in, if it's meant to be, it'll happen. I know when you're in the depths of despair over the 'perfect' guy who doesn't seem to share your feelings, it can be so tough, but really, for your own peace of mind, it's probably best if you try to stop focussing so much on this guy, and open your life up to other things. Make a new friend, take up a new hobby, try to meet new people, do something cool for yourself like buy yourself a nice present or take yourself to the movies, or whatever, and you'll seem so confident and easygoing and fun that you never know... maybe 'Mr Perfect' will say to himself, 'Hey, this girl seems really great, maybe I will ask her out after all...' And even if he doesn't, well, you're having fun and meeting new people, so it's all good! And have you ever considered that maybe he asked someone else out to make you jealous, and maybe encourage you to ask him out yourself? Good luck... and remember, he's only one guy, he's not worth stressing or worrying over. Take it a bit easier on yourself... :)
2006-10-11 09:51:25 · answer #3 · answered by Sinead C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok...breathe! You are a little obsessed! This guy while you might think he is the one for you might not think your the one for him. What requirements are you talking about? I know you are young by the way you talk I am 25 and I don't have many requirements because I don't know what I want in a spouse or boyfriend. Clam down and let him come to you. If he did ask you out what would you do? Freak out and be obsessive. Look at where the relationship might really go not where you want it to go. And loosen up alittle on the crazy grip.....If he is intersted in you and it is meant to be it will happen!! CALM DOWN!
2006-10-11 09:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, seems to me he's missing the MAIN qualification for a decent boyfriend.... INTEREST. Sorry if that is harsh, but facts are facts. If he isn't interested, all you can do is move on. Perhaps the fact that you exhibit an interest in life besides him will entice him... no one likes a person who doesn't have a life!
You can't "want" to love someone... you either do or you don't. If you have to want to love him, you clearly don't. Thus, this is an excellent time to find someone WORTHY of your love and attention.
Seriously girl, you are WAY too good to be sitting on the sidelines dreaming... think of all you've missed on the way!
2006-10-11 09:46:57 · answer #5 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men don't understand our body languages. So maybe he missed all the signs. Or he is the kind of person that u have to tell him on the face. Open yourself and tell him how u feel. U will be released that at least u tried. Maybe it works. If it doesn't u wont feel so bad, just get over it and try new relatinships and new friends. There will be plenty of opportunities.
2006-10-11 09:52:00 · answer #6 · answered by Tani 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound very young. One of life's lessons is that you don't always get what you want. Leave him alone or you will be reported for stalking him. Maybe you are too needy. And yes, leave him alone and give up hopes of anything developing for the two of you. Start dating guys who appreciate you. There are many others with great qualities.
2006-10-11 09:47:24 · answer #7 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohh its a long story moves around that guy, i called it "'that guy"" becoz he is not your guy. you cant force some1 to love you but if some1 is in love with you don't miss that oppurtunity and may be he jus don't know that he is the 1 for you, if you are so crazy about him let him know if you can't express your feelings thn simply show your emotions by your actions. Remember to differentiate between love and infatuation. what i reckon is just let him go, if he is for you thn he'll definitly come to you and may be by the time you'll be with some1 else that's wat life is, you gotta move on.
2006-10-11 10:02:50 · answer #8 · answered by nas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to increase the amount of stalking you are doing, you clearly have not spied on him enough or you would know how to win him over.
2006-10-11 09:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by mark f 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound very young, you will get over this guy and find someone else. And for the record please do not stalk, not only is this illegal but it will scare men away
2006-10-11 09:46:54 · answer #10 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋