Why do so many people put an emphasis on a mega wedding?

Question

Why do so many people insist on having a mega wedding when they need to focus their attention on the relationship ahead. A wedding is only one day but a marriage is a lifetime (well, for about 50% of the population). Mega weddings just seem so vain.

Answer 1

they are very vain. So is marriage thee days. My advice... have a simple wedding and a mega 20th anniversary vow renewal and reception. 50%, that really tells alot about people.

Answer 2

I don't think mega weddings are vain. But I do think they are over done... Brides get so consumed on everything needing to be perfect that it gets out of control. I don't know any of my friends that didn't experience trouble in their relationship while planning their big weddings.
It does seem like the focus is lost. The focus that should be on each other. Marriage is a decision. It's a decision you make every day of your life. You have to wake up and see the person next to you and think how lucky you are, even on the bad days. It's not about how long the train is, or how big your cake can be. It's not about whether you should have lillies or roses. It's about commitment, love and trust.
I agree that most people, not all, do lose their focus and seem to think that every thing afterwords is just a "Happily Ever After"... It seems almost as their logic is Big Wedding=Happiness.
You are very right about where they should focus on, at least you've figured that out before it's too late.
If my groom to be is willing, I'd like for just the two of us go to Fiji get married, get our own island for a weekend. Now, that's well spent money and time! ;) Then maybe, if my family is lucky, throw a small party when we get back, nothing too crazy.

Answer 3

I think it depends on the WHYS and HOWS of the mega wedding.

If both of the couple come from large families and have a ton of people they want to share their special day with, I can see how the costs would add up. I wouldn't consider that a "mega wedding," though; just a very large one.

To me, the mega weddings are the ones where money is thrown around like confetti just to show that it can be done. I completely understand a couple wanting the very best, but when you get to the point that the meal costs more per plate than most wedding gifts, that the flowers are imported from the tropics, and everything is name brand, I have to wonder where the priorities of the couple lay. Are they really spending all this money cuz they want to celebrate their marriage or is it to show off how much money they have?

Answer 4

People have big weddings for 1 of 3 reasons:

1. they think that the relationship is good and will last forever;

2. they need to make a spectacle so everyone will think the relationship is going to last; or

3. their family comes from money and their parents are expected to have a society wedding. (These people can afford it, so who cares.)

I had a big wedding, we invited 200+ people and about 125 attended. However, we didn't go into debt to have the party and everything was done on a budget. I wanted a dream wedding in Philadelphia in the Wanamaker building; 13 years ago the prices started at $100+ per person, so that wasn't happening. It doesn't matter what kind of wedding you have as long as you can afford and you have fun.

Answer 5

Why can't you do both?
I am not having a mega wedding only 150 people but very formal and we are spending $20,000 on it.
We love each other and want to have a beautiful day to share with everyone. But every time I post a question on here that is about a formal or fancy wedding- I get a bunch of jerks telling me how horrible I am for not allowing children, or asking registry question- because a person being there should be enough..... and tons of answer about how I SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME THE MARRIAGE. I am 29 freaking years old and ITS MY MONEY- I am paying for my own wedding, I'll spend it as I please and how I feel fit.

Answer 6

I believe that this goes to the "once in a lifetime event" theory.... trouble is that senario is rather rare these days.
"Mega Weddings", as you put it, are usually put on by young brides (under 30), or in expensive regions (New York for example, high competition among socialites, etc).
Vanity isnt really the trademark of a "Mega Wedding" Vanity is the trademark of a bridezilla (the bride who makes the entire wedding about HER as if the Groom doesnt exist)

Answer 7

There are a lot of socially inept, selfish people that need to get their mind right- plan a wedding within your means.
Who needs 200 people to "share their day"?

I agree, a down payment on a home or making an investment is the wiser choice. Invest in your relationship.

Answer 8

I completely, 100% disagree with you. I don't feel that "mega" weddings are vain. For instance, my wedding cost my mother and I over $20,000. It was for 200 people. My husband and I didn't want a traditional church wedding, because we are not religious. So it costs money just to rent a facility. Then, we have large families and lots of friends that we want to join us, so that adds more with cake and food...etc. Things ADD up!

The reason some weddings are so "mega" is because they have a lot of people they want to SHARE their love with! It's a celebration of their relationship, their union, and their love! Why wouldn't you want to stand on the rooftop and scream to the world that you all are in love? Weddings are a way of showing that.

Answer 9

That's a good point, and it applies to some.

But in my case, I've already secured the relationship. We've been together for over 10 years and we've NEVER had an argument. I love him more each day, and he never leaves for work without kissing me goodbye and saying "I Love you".

The wedding's big because he has a HUGE family and together, we have a lot of friends! If everyone comes to the wedding just in his IMMEDIATE family, we're talking 150 easy.

And, you just want to have everyone you care about, sharing your day with you. At least, that's how I feel. So it's not a "hey everybody, see me", it's "hey everybody, come share my day with me",

Answer 10

I agree. I'd rather spend the money on a downpayment on a house. At least thats for sure and it will appreciate with value. Many just want to show off and/or are in love with the fantasy.