What shall a 14 yr. old pregnant girl do?

Question

Okay first I'm 14 and I'm 1&1/2 months pregnant by this 20 yr old guy and we've been dating for a while now but only I'm pregnant.My family basically went crazy and my aunt that I used to live with is trying to make me get an abortion my best~friend is telling me I'm stupid and to just get the abortion b/c I told her that I think I'm going to keep it.My boyfriend that got me pregnant wants me to keep it and says he has a job so he would be able to take care of it.At first before everyone found out and it was just me and my aunt that I was living with at the time knew I was going to get the abortion just because nobody really expected this especially from me and nobody knew.But then me and my aunt got into it once and she told the whole family including the #1 person I didn't want to know -my dad-.Well I'm in another state living w/ my dad and his family and my boyfriend's mad b/c I left and I just been having second thoughts about him taking care of the baby.What shall I do?Abt. or not

Answer 1

Well, I had my first son when I was 15. I got pregnant at 14, and my husband was 19 at the time. We got married a few years later, but I would of never gotten an abortion. I know you are really young, but I think you will probably regret it if you have an abortion later on. In my opinion it is killing a child. Just give your child, and boyfriend a chance and yourself. Remember your child did not ask to be inside of you, but he did not ask to be terminated either. It won't be fair for you, the baby, or the father. You are lucky just like I am, that the father wants to be involved. Not many girls are lucky like that. Don't ruin that. And best of luck.

Answer 2

Hey, I really dont understand how the guy got away,after doing a 14 year old pregnant. He should be in jail. If he is 20 and you 14, then its legally speaking-rape. I trully think that you should listen to what your heart says, if You want to go ahead with it then sure, its a great decision. Women all around the world pay heavy money to get a child.
But then comes the other question- Are you realyy ready for it?, Are you mentally prepared, Physically prepared to have a baby at 14?it means loosing all your fredom,But I guess when you got the baby, in your hand ,covered with blood, A life coming out from yourself.....Iguess its worth it.
Please dont Abort, give the baby up for adoption once its born.
Its the way you look at it all - what is inside is a life, and life is to be respected. So I say, go ahead with the child and give it for adoption. Maybe, when he or she grows up and he is in some kind of trouble or he is alone, you wont be the person he\she will cry for.....maybe He\she wont share freezing winter nights with you curled up next to you in your bed, maybe he\she will not share your best christmas together......................it will be a tough decision, But at the end of it all you will , eventually with time feel that what you had done was a good decision on your part for the baby.
Keep the child only if you can take the social stigma that comes withit, and the compromises of being a mother at 14, responsibilities well. I bet bveing a mother atb 14 is tough.........have you thought how you will go on with the education(yours and the childs) etc.... And as far as the guy is concerened I think he should be behind bars.
Best of luck! After all people can only help, but the decision is yours, I too am 14 and I understand the way you are feeling for your own baby. But I too realyy want you to give it for adoption . Aborting it will be murder, you have to realize that what is inside you is not an embryo, its a life, its a life. So bwest of luck once more

Answer 3

You have to do the decision that is right for you, not your family, not the boyfriend, just what is right for you. I'm not an advocate of abortion, but if you feel like you should have one, do not let anyone talk you out of. It's sad that most of the young teenage girls that get pregnant are made that way by older men who should know better. Not to be mean but a 20 year old male has no business being with a girl as young as you. Men that date young girls tend to be users, or they like naive girls that will do whatever the guy wants them to. If you decide to keep the baby then be prepared for the fact that you will be a YOUNG single mother, I really doubt that your boyfriend will step up to the plate and act responsibly once the time of the birth comes near. He might talk a lot of good stuff, but will he follow through? In your heart you know the answer to this. Is he paying for your Dr.'s appointments or even making sure you are going? Is he going with you? Is he concerned about how you are feeling and what the repercussions of this are for the rest of your life? Do you really want to raise a baby right now? What are your hopes and dreams? Would you consider letting someone adopt your baby? You could give a childless couple the best gift of all, that would make you a mature and responsible person and might be the best. And if you really and truly strongly feel like you want to have and raise this baby, then do it, just be prepared for how much your life will change and how many of your dreams will have to be put on hold for a few years. Motherhood is very rewarding, but it's even more so if it happens at the right time. I truly wish you the best of luck, even though I don't think I offered much help. I just waned to make you think about every issue surroundiing your pregnancy.

Answer 4

Ultimately it is your decision. However take into consideration that you are still a child yourself. Taking responsibility for another human being is not an easy task. Also not to be pessimistic but this whole relationship b/t you and your "boyfriend" is not only illegal, but probably won't last. Do you really want to bring another child into a broken home. I'll be honest in telling you that an abortion or adoption is probably your best option. You should go to a clinic and speak with a counselor about your options. Whatever you do, don't take this decision lightly. If you choose to become a mother you will be missing out on significant experiences in your life that you can never get back. You will have plenty of time to have a baby after school is finished and you have a good job. Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 5

It sounds like you and your aunt wanted an abortion to begin with, but your boyfriend is trying to make you go through with it. Don't listen to them. Don't listen to your dad, don't listen to your aunt, don't listen to your friend, don't listen to your boyfriend.

You may love all of them dearly, but what they think is right for you may not actually be what IS what the right thing. Talk to your doctor, the one person who will be able to say, 'No. You CANNOT have the baby because of the risk it might put on you,' or, 'Yes, you are healthy enough to have the baby.'

From then on pick what choice YOU want (if there is a choice). Do you really want the baby? Do you NOT want the baby? Think it over very carefully, and, once you've made your final decision, talk to your family about it. Explain what you're going to do, why you're going to do it, etc. Make sure that you're final decision is partially accepted, if it's not, talk to them again and try and get it all smoothed out.

Most of all, don't do what anybody on here tells you to do. Even if everybody is screaming, 'ABORTION! ABORTION!' remember that it's your child, your life, and your choice.

Abortion isn't murder, it's a choice. And keeping the child isn't giving your life away, it's an option.

And darling, from personal experience, a child is a wonderful thing. But think of all the care, and of all the patience you must need, and think if you can muster it.

Good luck with whichever path you choose!

Answer 6

Not to tell you what to do but, if you were having sex surely you knew getting pregnant could happen. I am a firm believer in pro life. If you don't want the baby you should tell your boyfriend and maybe he would want to keep the baby. You could always give the baby up. But, I believe that after you feel that baby move inside of you and see your baby on your first ultrasound and hear that babys heart beat you would not want to make the decision to end the babys life because you decided to have unprotected sex. You made the choice to have sex you need to be responsible enough to deal with the consequences. My sister was fourteen when she got pregnant and she kept her daughter. Her daughter is almost 9 years old. I am not saying it will be easy because it won't. There are plenty of programs to help you with things such as your local health dept. You should really consider that if you end this baby's life you will not be able to take it back and there will be a time in your life where you will know that not having an abortion was the right choice. Especially when you hear mama and I love you come out of your child's mouth.

Answer 7

Abortion is not a good option. You should seek out a service for unmarried young mothers and get help through them. Once the baby is born, you can decide if you want to keep it or give it up for adoption. There are many people these days that cannot have children and want to adopt so you would be doing them a favor. Abortion not only eliminates the baby, but it will scar you emotionally, and you've been through so much, you don't need that, too.
You can call Courageous Choice at 1-877-480-8255
Or check out this website: http://www.hopeslightministries.org/index.htm
My prayers are with you and your unborn child.

Answer 8

Abortion is NOT murder, nor is it anything to be ashamed of. If you don't think you are capable of being able to raise this child alone, I recomend a trip to Planed Parenthood while you are still in the 1st trimester. Don't believe your boyfriend when he tells you he has a job & wants to help you raise the baby; he is lying. He is just saying that to make him look like a decent, caring person, rather than the irresponisble, pediphilic, scumbag he really is. Get an abortion & leave his sorry @ss. He knew tthe rules, & stautory rape is wrong.

Answer 9

I am surprised the guy wasn't brought up on charges for getting a 14 yr old pregnant in the first place. I think you Dad did correct in removing you from being near the guy. Second,I would NOT abort the baby,but would have it put up for adoption,abortion is NOT the answer,there are many childless couples out there who would be able and willing to give the baby a good life. It sounds like the Aunt should also be brought up on charges for allowing you to be with an adult and having sex. Yes that guy is considered an adult and frankly HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO BE WITH A 14 YR OLD GIRL,AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE,A GIRL,ONLY NOW you are forced to BECOME a woman with having a child inside of you growing. Having an abortion is a quick way out,and that should NOT be done,in my own personal opinion. Good luck to you and the innocent baby,as well as your Dad to" get that guy to do the time since he did the crime",and tough luck the guy is mad b/c you left,he should be glad I am NOT your parent,he would be more than mad,he would be behind bars for a very long time to "Think about what he did". I do NOT think he would take care of the baby,since he didn't care you in a way were a baby yourself when he raped you,which is what he did,since he was the adult and you only a child taken in by his words and lying actions.

Answer 10

This is going to be really hard for you. I don't know why you had sex at FOURTEEN in the first place but I'm not judging. Honestly if you don't want to get an abortion which I understand I recommend finding a nice family that would like to adopt your child and letting them adopt it. You will still be able to visit it if the family is cool with that, and you can live with the satisfaction of knowing you provided your baby with a good life and a loving family.

Answer 11

I was 17 and my girlfriend was 15 when she found out she was pregnant. Abortion was something her dad through on the table as an option. We decided against it and now we have a 7 year old boy. My daughter was also very close to being an abortion too but now I wouldn't have my daddy's girl who is 5 now. Whatever you choose, that is a decision who live with the rest of your life. Being a young parent is one of the hardest things you can go though. I think it would also painful; in about 3 years you are going to see a child that would be about the same age as the child you were carrying and aborted.