he wants to marry and have a family...i dont beleive in marriage nor do i want any kids, both of those are not for me...basicall that's the only thing tha's keeping us apart..he tells me if i love him i would just do them but i say that love is about comprimise but not submission! i can also say well if he loved me then he owuldnt ask me for that but i dont cause it's childish..thing is i really do care for him...any advice?
2006-10-11 09:21:59 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Being compatible in life is more than loving each other and getting along. Its about wanting the same things out of the future. If you don't you will eventually grow apart. It may be time for you two to call it quits, or one of you may feel some resentment or unsatisfied in the future.
2006-10-11 09:26:48 · answer #1 · answered by grudgrime 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's your ex, and usually people have a reason when they break up. What was the reason for the two of you? Think about that and decide whether he really is the guy for you. You two have two completely opposite goals in life and even if you did get back together the relationship wouldn't be healthy. He wants a family and he deserves someone who also wants a family. You obviously don't and I'm sure there is someone out there for you. I want you to think about him for a minute. If you care about him, you should be willing to let him go so he can find someone that can meet his needs (and do the same for yourself). If you get into this relationship it seems like it would only be a waste of your time, not to mention effort. I'm sure you love him, but sometimes no matter how much you love someone you have to let them go.
Good Luck to with whatever you decide to do.
2006-10-11 16:27:52 · answer #2 · answered by MakeBelieve. All you want. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a pretty tough spot. What you've said about compromise is true.......to a point. There are some large issues that are principal values in each of your lives that you probably won't be swayed on. Some smaller issues you'll be more apt to be flexible with.
This isn't debating on which side of town to live on or what color to paint the bathroom, this is marriage and kids. Those are two HUGE issues. Marriage/kids is a bigger decision than buying a car. If he's down and you're not, then you're trying to cram a square peg in a round hole. If one of you "submits" and will be unhappy for it later. Not exactly a healthy foundation to start a relationship on. There's a good chance it come be the beginning of the undoing of your relationship.
If you're both sticking to your guns, you may have to agree to disagree and move on. Better to not be in a relationship than to be in an unhappy one.
2006-10-11 16:31:09 · answer #3 · answered by ezenbrowntown 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you don't want marrige and children and he does and you "try" to compromise, then I can guarantee you that eventually, that will become a huge problem in the relationship and then the consequences can be a lot greater.
Eventually, depends on the gravity of your situation, love will not be enough. All relationships take work and this will either make you or break you.
Let's say he is the one who "compromises", would you be able to live with your self knowing that he does not have what he wants? That in his mind, your love is not complete unless you guys are married and have children? This is not about if you prefer black or white, rather life changing decisions and make sure that whatever decision you do make, that it was well though out.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-11 16:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by Jojo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but it really sounds like it wasn't meant to be. You've already broken up once, and I'm sure it was for good reasons. You both want two very different things and I don't think it's fair for either one of you to have to sacrifice what you want in your life. Let him go, and find yourself someone who wants the same things in life that you do.
2006-10-11 16:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by deepwaters05 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I WOULD SAY IF YOU GUYS CAN'T COME TO A COMPROMISE ABOUT THAT THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE TOGETHER. I RESPECT YOUR VIEWS ON MARRIAGE AND KIDSAND THAT IS TOTALLY YOUR DECISION. DON'T GIVE IN TO WHAT HE WANTS JUST CAUSE YOU LOVE CAUSE IN THE END IF YOU DO GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS IT MIGHT TEAR YOU GUYS APART. SO THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND DON'T LET IT STRESS YOU OUT.
2006-10-11 16:27:21 · answer #6 · answered by seattlelove_206 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry by the sounds of things you want completely different things out of a relationship,maybe its time to go your separate ways and find someone who wants the same things out of life as you.
2006-10-11 16:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by cheekychimp 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can always really care for him but you are both looking at distinquishing different futures. It just wont work that way. Dont be submissive, be you.
2006-10-11 16:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by gary t 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is telling you what he wants out of life and you dont want the same the best thing is to realise it is not going to work. family and marriage is a big thing if you dont agree you just dont agree thats it
2006-10-11 16:25:31 · answer #9 · answered by crazycase2006 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
he obviously really loves you and wants you to be the one he has his kids with buit if that isn't what you want them maybe you shouldnt be together. itd be hard to compromise between no kids and many kids
2006-10-11 16:30:42 · answer #10 · answered by wendydahhling 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋