~!!!!!!!PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!~ (dating) ANYONE WHO ANSWERS APPROPRIETLY GETS A THUMBS UP!!!!?

Question

umm...ok
i like this guy...we have been friends for a year and everyone things we should start dating.
i dont know what i should do
should i ask him out and risk ruining our friendship (maybe not totally ruin it, but it might change things between us) , or should i just wait for him to ask me out (which might never happen). If you have a better idea, that's certainly welcome to. I really am scared to ask him, i guess it's like a fear of rejection. But I really want to start a relationship with him...please help!!!
if you can't do that then tell me how i can find out if he likes me...

Answer 1

hey,
what i would reccomend is asking him out for maybe coffee or lunch something that is not to dateish and tell him how you feel...If he is a true friend he will not reject you but make you understand that he does not see you that way...but tell him you like him as more than a friend. and that you afraid to ruin the freindship...he may feel the same. but wheather he does like like you that way or he does you are never gonna know unless you ask. you may be surprised...

Answer 2

Wow, sounds like a situation I was recently in! My best friend and I are currently dating. Everyone told us that we should date or that we were practically dating, but both of us denied it because the other was denying it and we feared rejection and change. Finally I hinted that I liked him, and within a week he asked me out. Maybe throw out some subtle hints, if you really like him and think that this may be a forever relationship then it is not going to hurt to get him to tell you he likes you too. If he has any interest he will pick up on your hints. Although I would not ask him out. If you do date and you really like each other, like my bf and I, then the relationship will never be ruined, but it is a good idea to tell him that if it does not work out then you still want to be friends. Just take a little bit and think through what your intentions of liking him are. If it is just because others are telling you it is the right thing then it is for the wrong reasons. Being friends before you date is highly suggested. Do what your heart leads you to do.

Answer 3

By your stated thoughts, you obviously are fond of the idea of getting in a relationship. Why not take a shot at it? If the idea of just telling him how you feel seems a bit too much to handle, there are more subtle ways to spark things up.

You've already been friends anyway. Invite him to go do something that's more intimate than just hanging out (dinner, movie, etc.) See how things go. Probably the best advice I can offer is to break the touch barrier. Whether it's given him a hug or laughing and put your hand on him. Sounds corny, but that basic level flirting always caught my attention.

I'm no guidance counselor, but I'd say give it a go. If not, you'll always wonder "what if".

Answer 4

I know exactly where you are coming from. You don't want to lose the great friend you've made if things don't work out, and your scared of what good could come if things work out great [if you don't think you are, you'll realize it later, trust me]. You're never gonna know what could happen if you don't give him a shot. I don't suggest just asking him right now if he'll go out with you. DON'T DO THAT! Does it seem like he likes you? [[I have this friend that everyone has told me that I should date for the past 2 years, we never have. He doesn't like me (that I know of), and I have mixed emotions about him. I know you don't care about that, but just know that your friends aren't ALWAYS right when they tell you something.]] Do you flirt with him? If not start (subtly please). Touch his arm when you talk to him to make a point (don't do this a lot, it'll lose it's effect). If he responds positively when you flirt with him, continue on for awhile. If the reaction is negative, stop and give him some time to adjust to things. When you feel like you're pretty sure he likes you (or he tells you, etc.) get him alone and have the "should we change our relationship" talk. Just ask him if he wants to be more than friends and tell him that either way you'll understand. Tell him that you know that this would change things, but you think the change would be good. Be confident. Don't second guess yourself. And please don't give him the cold shoulder if he doesn't respond the way you want him to.

I hope I helped, Good Luck.

Answer 5

That's really tough. Ask yourself this question: how easy would it be for you to spend another year hiding your attraction to this guy that you have feelings for?
If you don't think you can go through it, then what do you have to lose? Also, do you think that the possibility of a sexual relationship with this person is worth risking the friendship over?
There really isn't a perfect way to figure out how someone else feels. Try to setup a situation where you two are alone together a lot, make a lot of comments leading in that direction and if it freaks him out then you can always say you were just joking!

Answer 6

You're right. If you wait for him to ask you out it might never happen. I say go for it. If you're worried about putting your friendship at risk, then make sure you keep it light and casual. Try to do it when it's just the two of you and there are no other distractions. Tell him you really like him... and watch his reaction. If he responds positively, then ask him out. If he doesn't, then cover by saying that you really like having him as a friend and that he's very important to you.. blah blah blah, then change the convo fast. You know, he's probably thinking exactly the same thing. A lot of younger guys are really afraid of girls and would probably appreciate you doing some of the work for him. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

Ok this is what you do. Simply ask one of your friends that knows this guy that you like and let your friend ask the guy what he thinks about you. With the answer he gives your friend you can go by. If the answer is good from your friend then you should start small like a movie or going out to eat, this stage should only last for about 2 weeks then it's time to make your move ask him DO YOU WANT A GIRLFRIEND? if he says no then you guys will still be friends because you didn't say do you want to be my boyfriend.

Answer 8

Well, I know how you feel....at least a little bit. I knew a guy for about 2 years and the whole time I totally crushed on him. I tried everything to get his attention. I eventually realized that no matter what he wasn't interested in me that way. Rather, we developed a wonderful relationship as friends. He was and always is there for me when I need to talk. Looking back I see that if we had pursued any kind of dating relationshp, we wouldn't have the kind of closeness we have now. So it depends. Do you see yourself with him 5 years from now? I mean, what does your heart say? It really could jeopardize the friendship. Who knows.....

Answer 9

Well,if you don't ask him then you might miss out on something great. You'll wonder your whole life whether or not it might have worked and been great. On the other hand...it might turn out that your just better off as friends. You'll never know unless you try. All you need to do is talk to him. Ask him how he feels about you. Is it just friends or more than friends. The ball is in your court hun, and frankly I'd smack the sh** out of it. I say go for it.

Answer 10

First off if you are friends you can talk about just about anything right? So have a talk with him ask him how he feels and if he wants to take the relationship to the next leave or just stay friends. Then you will have the problem solved. I hoped this help and good luck