Today guy #1 asked me out, and I said ok b/c I was caught off guard. [He’s nice, but he’s a bit of a geek, and not really my type]
The thing is, I’ve had a crush on guy #2 for the longest time, and it’s not just b/c of his looks or anything! We have a class together and we get along quite well, but I have no clue if he likes me back or not…
The 3 of us are all part of the same group of like 15 friends. So no matter what I do, we’ll all see each other everyday and things are going to become weird. I already told a few of my friends among the group that #1 asked me out (I didn’t say anything about my crush on #2). I told them I liked #1 as a friend, but I‘d feel weird dating him. But they said go for it anyway, you got nothing to lose.
But I feel that if I do go out with #1, I’m kissing goodbye to my chances with #2 (he won't date his friend’s ex) But if I turn #1 down, I’ll be the ******.
+ depending if I go out with #1 or NOT , what signals is #2 gonna get?
HELP PLEASE!
2006-10-11 08:31:50 · 25 answers · asked by ♥ AnGeL oF cLaRiTy ♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
#2 is definitely shy
2006-10-11 08:36:22 · update #1
what you need to do in order to get #2 is to not go out with #1 until you know for sure whether #2 likes you or not. if you decide to keep dating #1 because you feel bad and listen to your friends, then #2 is definetly gonna get the wrong idea and plus, he won't date his friend's ex. don't do anything you'll regret. TELL #2 and see whats up.
P.S- don't ever go out with someone you don't like
2006-10-11 08:39:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait! I think I saw this on The Brady Bunch... or was it an after school special?
But seriously... how long have you known #2? If it's been some time and he shows no interest in asking you out I'd strongly suggest going out with the geek who has the nads to actually ASK you out.
The geeks are the ones that, after high school, are usually more successful, and they often get better looking too, while the jocks tend to get fat and bald, and think they can live off the success they had in High School. Not always... but sometimes.
Finally... I bird (or geek as the case may be) in the hand is worth two (jocks) in the bush. Why do you think #2 would EVER ask you out if he hasn't already?
2006-10-11 15:40:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not go out with #1 and misslead him plus ruin you chances with #2 thats two strikes out that would really suck . I would stall guy #1 for enough time to get guy #2 alone and ask him out explain to him your situation that you have liked him for a while and you think it would be nice if the two of you gave things a shot the worst he could say is no..chances are he isent going to if you get along so well maybe hes in the same situation you are and is too shy to take that next step and ask you out. I asked my husband on our first date and he later told me my confidence was a real turn on and it made him want that first date even more..life is too short for you to love from afar..after you get your date go to guy #1 and tell him he has a special place in your heart as a great friend and you have feelings for someone else and would never want to hurt him and you think that it is best that you dont cross the line and just stay friends but dont go out with this guy even if you dont approach guy #2 which I hope you will because if you do go out with him with no feelings involved you may lose a great friend. I wish you the best just follow your heart it already sounds like you know what to do.
2006-10-11 15:45:04 · answer #3 · answered by Ashley 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can go out with #1 and treat it as you would going out with any other friend. You can tell him (if he asks) that you like him, enjoy his company and really want to continue to be friends.
Things will only become wierd if you let them! If you start acting wierd and awkward then that is how people will respond.
Be gracious, be nice, enjoy all your friends (including #1). If you do that the signal #2 will get is that you are a nice person and a good friend! If things develop romantically with #2 or not at least you will still enjoy and be on good terms will everyone in your group!!
2006-10-11 15:38:49 · answer #4 · answered by seaelen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You pose an interesting dilemma. What if you go out with g2 and it doesn't work out? Kinda weird, huh? But you didn't say anything about that, hmmm.
My guess is you wanted to go out badly enough to say yes to g1, but didn't give anything else any thought. But now you have had time to reconsider...
Why don't you set up a group date arrangement with some or all of your friends? No pressure and no promises...
Either guy ends up being a chance..how much do you value the group relationship?
Good luck
John
2006-10-11 15:39:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you go out with #1, tell him that you had in mind that it was only in friendship of getting out of the house. Let him know how much you enjoy his company and his friendship and you had never thought of him in any other way. If he is very understanding in this, let him know of your crush on #2. Maybe he can help you out with that. Now if he seems to be upset over the only friends deal then don't kick him in the head about #2, 'cause like you said, he's a friend!
2006-10-11 15:39:47 · answer #6 · answered by Liome 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say go out with guy #1 but first talk to him, tell him how you feel about him. That he is a good friend, and you didn't want to hurt his feeling when he asked you out, that you would feel weird going out with him because you are friends but you want him to know that you can only go out as friends. Do something that you both do when you are with a group.
Guys talk as well and he might tell guy #2 but what will find out, that you just back out or treated him like a real friend.
2006-10-11 16:04:33 · answer #7 · answered by eve 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Going out with #1 doesn't mean y'all are girlfriend/boyfriend. If y'all are friends and you like to hang out with each other there should be no prob. with going out. Come on whats the worst that could happen, you find out you really like him. If not let him know up front and you just might find y'all got closer and became better friends (god knows you can't have enough of them). Anyway if that is the case i am sure boy #2 would understand y'all went out as friends and not like a date date ya know. Just don't lie to them about your feelings you'll end up with two less friends. Hope this helps
2006-10-11 15:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, if you turn down #1 guy in a soft way, you'll certainly not become a *****. I think you should turn him down if you don't like him in that way; just because he asked you doesn't mean you'll be happy with him because he was the only one!
I suggest going up to him, be extra friendly and sweet, and tell him that your friendship with him is very special, and that you cherish it above a lot of things; but you want it to stay that way. That way you'll give him the hint that you're not interested in a bf-gf relationship with him, and he'll take it the nice way. Trust me.
With guy #2, try focusing on ways to get him. Flaunt your inner sex appeal, be flirty, and sweet. Always catch him whenever you see him, and strike up interesting conversations. Make yourself available to him without being a ho-bag. Since you're friends with his friends, this makes a major plus. Talk to them about how you like him, and what ways can you get him to know. They'll help you, and make sure to make them promise you they won't tell until it's evident that he likes you. Eventually, if this goes on for awhile, #2 guy will get the hint, and ask you out.
2006-10-11 15:38:46 · answer #9 · answered by forest_without_sounds 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did guy #2 ask you out? NO! So forget him, go out with #1 and have a good time. You can't wait the rest of your life for Guy 2 to ask you out, can you? He's had the opportunity and hasn't made his move so forget him. Stay friends.
2006-10-11 15:44:50 · answer #10 · answered by goodbye 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋