Put simply. We dated for 2 years. He was abusvie (in all ways) for 18 months. He haven't seen/talked to each other since he moved away (4 months ago). We broke up 2 months before he moved, he went with another girl in that time, but we were still having sex. I was fed up with everything and stopped answering his calls on night. Over 2 days I received 326 missed calls from him- then we both just stopped. Recently, I've been missing him terribly. I want to know what hes up, how hes doing, and how his move went. I want to call him. We were the best of friends before we started dating and I want it to be that way again. Hes 20, I'm 18. What should I do??
2006-10-11 08:17:43 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
grow up you can not be very mature if you are actually thinking of calling him.
2006-10-11 08:19:16 · answer #1 · answered by jusme 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave the abusive ex behind.
Seriously, the abuse never goes away. If he is calling 326 times in 2 days he is overly obsessed and that is scary.
Although you're missing him, I don't see why. Why would you want to be back in the arms of a man who hurts you? There are other fish in the sea. Right now, you need time for yourself. You need to start caring about yourself and love yourself before getting into a relationship.
Stay away from this abuser, that's not where you want to be in life, it will only lead to more hurt in the future.
2006-10-11 08:23:38 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a glutton for punishment or what??? Haven't you read about women who keep going back to abusive men??? Why would you do such a thing??? Get a grip, and run the other way! Find a NICE man who will respect you, and be kind to you. Seriously... why do you think he's changed? Just think back to the worst moment you can remember with him... and ask yourself if you want to experience that again!!! I don't mean to sound harsh, but you need to just stop in your tracks, and see the big picture. And you deserve better! Good luck girl! :o)
2006-10-11 08:22:38 · answer #3 · answered by JP 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should forget about him. Of course you will wonder about him - we all wonder about our exes, especially if it was true love. But you need not bother with getting involved with him again, as you are putting yourself back on the path of self-destruction. You deserve better, and deserve someone who is not abusive, and who will see you for what you are, and respect and treat you properly. It's BAD BUSINESS calling back up an abusive ex. It will NEVER get any better, he will NEVER change, keep that in mind when you think about calling him. People also have a tendency just to remember the good times you had together, and put the bad times in the back of their heads. This is romanticizing...it isn't realistic, and you need to take care of yourself and your mind. Don't bother with him, and meet other people, you will thank yourself, I promise! Take care!
2006-10-11 08:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by polishedamethyst 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you really want to get messed up in that mess again? Ask yourself this...is it worth getting hit, was it worth getting abused by this man? And now that you got a chance to move on you are not taking it.....i understand you want what you had before yous dated, but you can find better friends out there. I recomend you take it day by day and keep pushing him out of your life, it seems like hes still controlling your life even after yous broke up.....its time to take controll and let go, start a whole new life today.
2006-10-11 08:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"DO NOT CALL" Move on.... it's ok to wonder. Leave it at that. You however should be focusing on YOU. Are you still in school? Focus! You will be so glad you did this for you, rather than get caught up in a relationship that is so harmful.... you can have a great relationship with someone that you get along with and are best of friends with who won't abuse you in any way! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Best of luck to you!
2006-10-11 08:26:05 · answer #6 · answered by vershellie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, don't call him. He's not worth the pain. Remember how it felt when he hurt you, when he abused you. No woman deserves to go through that. I once dated a man for three months who hit me, swore at me, called me names, etc. He raped me twice. I never told anyone about it because I wanted to believe that it was my fault, that he loved me and I didn't see it. One day I woke up before him and looked at myself in the mirror. I had a black eye and a bruise on my thigh. For the first time, reality set in and I knew I had to get the heck out of there. Thankfully, I was able to stay with friends for a few weeks. Please, please don't contact him. When you were friends, you only saw the good in him. Over the course of your relationship with him, the bad came out. He abused you. He did not respect you like he should have. If you have any self-respect, honey, don't go back to him, even for friendship. There are better men out there. You know what he's really like. Don't go back to him, if you care about yourself at all.
2006-10-11 08:28:48 · answer #7 · answered by writer_girl20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up and stop being a fool. You were never best friends- he was and is a psychopath who happened to be nice for 2 months before showing his true colors. So what if you miss him- get over it. And get some therapy to deal with whatever made you stay with such a loser for 2 years-- and makes you crave him now. Only sick people stay with other sick people.
2006-10-11 08:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wont be as rude as the others but in nicer terms no dont call him i know you miss him i was in the same predicament and had a kid with him so i have to deal with him forever....he is still the same for the past 6 years honey he will never change....let him go find a new friend or something and just remember this...what he did to you he will do to the next so dont be jealous feel sorry for the other girls he does this to email me tesnrut@yahoo.com so we can talk
2006-10-11 08:22:52 · answer #9 · answered by tesnrut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely if he was abusive he hasn't changed.. I know people that become abusive for whatever reason and there is still a part of them that is very abusive and negative. He's really not someone you should keep in touch with. Bad things happen, don't live your life dwelling on them. You have one life to live, don't waste it over an ex or anyone who hurts you.
2006-10-11 08:21:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you can't go back. Your relationship will never be the same as it was before you started dating. Remember why you broke up. Go find a nice guy to take your mind off of him.
2006-10-11 08:25:35 · answer #11 · answered by WI Gal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋