* You recycle your own toilet paper
* Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad
* You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants.
* You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate."
* Your bumper sticker reads: "One more Whore and We Get Gore."
* The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire.
* Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck.
* You hunt from your bedroom window.
* Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
* You refrigerate your food stamps.
* You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill.
* You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween.
* Your idea of a loaded dishwasher is getting your wife drunk.
* You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives.
2006-10-11 08:12:40 · 14 answers · asked by ☺Smiley☺ 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
* You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen "sprinkles" on your cone.
* You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum.
* You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's picture on the back of a milk carton!
* The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D."..and you respond "About whut?"
* You take a beer to a job interview.
* You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street to jump start the heater.
* When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind for dental floss.
* You go to Goodwill to meet women.
* You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!
2006-10-11 08:13:01 · update #1
if you think the four seasons are salt, pepper, garlic, and vinegar
your phone says leave a message after the burp
you look at an adress on some mail and you see the Zip. and it reminds you to close your fly
if you feel tension when your wife is pregnant, stress when girlfriend is pregnant, and panic when both are pregnant
thanks for the good laughs ;) i haven't heard a good redneck joke in a while
2006-10-11 08:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by vitamin r 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well let's see how funny this really is!! Instead of Redneck substitute A f ro American or Hispanic and see what happens
Any one recognize the term "double standard"?
2006-10-11 15:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by barrettins 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you might be a redneck if...
you move more hunting equipment to your new home than furniture or clothes! (my brother came up with that one)
read Jeff Foxworthy's book "No shirt, No shoes, No problem"
2006-10-11 16:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by gonepostalinmo 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you might be a redneck if:
Truckers tell your wife to watch her language
Your nipple got bit off by a beaver
Your family tree does not fork
The original color of your carpet is an unsolved mystery
The Orkin man says "Give up, you've lost"
You have to climb up a water tower to defend you sister's honor
2006-10-11 15:25:53 · answer #4 · answered by fanatic 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Nice, but y'know, a lot of those are copyrighted by Jeff Foxworthy!
2006-10-11 15:16:52 · answer #5 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
hmm seems as though i'm not a redneck since i don't belong to either one of those
2006-10-11 15:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by wlv 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Seeing sharing so many experiences of yours, no doubt that I can firmly belive that your 'THE' Redneck !!!
2006-10-11 15:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by Tickler 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Tee Hee Hee! Those were good! ^_^
2006-10-11 15:20:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have three brothers, all named "Bubba".
2006-10-11 15:15:33 · answer #9 · answered by Richard H 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This HILARIOUSE I LOVE IT really funny and sooo true thanks for the laugh I needed it.
2006-10-11 15:18:53 · answer #10 · answered by lola 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋