Does anyone know a good way to feel better about a person who passed away?

Question

My grandfather passed away on Monday and I can't seem to get him off of my mind. He raised me and he was like a father to me. We were extremely close. He unexpectedly passed away in his sleep. I have had many people in my family pass away, unforunately, but none have affected me as much as his passing has. I feel like I'm the only one in the whole family who is feeling this way. Everyone else seems to be coping with the loss a lot better than me. I have prayed and prayed for him to be safe wherever he is. I honestly believe he is in heaven but it does not help me feel better. I feel that he was taken too early in life,he was 63.It might be because I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. Everytime I close my eyes I see him in a coffin, and we will be viewing the body tomorrow. I don't think I can go through with it. My family says it will be good because it will bring closure to the way I am feeling. Does anyone have any advice for that will help me be able to deal with this better?

Answer 1

HONEY,I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.THE BIBLE SAID GOD WOULD SEND US THE HOLY GHOST TO COMFORT US.I KNOW THAT PRAYER WILL HELP.I LOST MY MOTHER AND MOTHER-IN-LAW WITH IN A YEAR OF EACH OTHER.I STILL CRY SOMETIME.
YOUR GRANDFATHER LOVES YOU AND HE WOULD NEVER WANT YOU TO HURT.
THINK OF THE GOOD TIMES YOU HAD TOGETHER,THE LOVE,THE JOY.
REMEMBER YOUR GRANDFATHER IS NOT IN THAT COFFIN,HIS BODY IS BUT THAT IS JUST A SHELL.
THE PART OF HIM YOU LOVE WILL NEVER DIE.SOMEDAY YOU WILL SEE HIM AGAIN.I THINK OF THE PEOPLE THAT I HAVE LOST .IT STILL HURTS ,BUT NOT AS BAD.
I HAVE SAID A PRAYER FOR YOU AND I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS.
GODS LOVE BE WITH YOU.

Answer 2

Try to come to the understanding that your grandfather, and everything that made you love him, is not really gone. He is not gone since your memory of him is in your heart. Think of death as a change rather than an ending. His form has passed on, but all that he meant to you is still very much alive in you. We are all connected this way - through our thoughts and feelings and interactions with each other. For your grandfather's part, I'm sure he misses having you around too, but I'm sure that you will see him from time to time in different forms - it might be in the smile of a stranger, the laughter of a child or even in a cool summer's breeze. I don't think that we ever really die, we simple change, just like we change every day through our actions, beliefs, and most importantly, our thoughts. Although it seems unfortunate, death is a necessary part of life, it's a path that we all must take to better understand ourselves and the reality that we all share. And their's nothing wrong with grieving, it helps to let our emotions out so that we can cycle through them and have an easier time moving on. I'm sure that someday down the road, you'll find yourself having a happy memory of your grandfather, in that moment you'll suddenly have a peaceful realization that everything is good, and the way it should be, and that all is right with the universe. Take care, I know you will. ;-)

Answer 3

I'm not a Christian but we lost my SFIL at age 50 two years ago, he died from cancer and we saw him at the end. We all were comforted and felt better that he was no longer suffering.

Three days ago I lost a dear friend to melanoma cancer. She was only 36 years old, a wife of 15 years and a mother of 3 children ages 8, 11 and 14. A month ago she called to tell me that they were pregnant, a week later that she had to have an abortion due to cancer and then three weeks later her husband called to tell me that she has died.. For the first two days I did nothing but walk around and cry but now, I feel better knowing that she no longer has to suffer in pain. The hardest part for me isn't getting over her death, it is feeling for her spouse and children, parents and sister and not being able to do anything.

Just take things one day at a time, some people take longer to grieve than others. Try and focus on the happy times, this is what my family did for both of these loved ones who died. I can tell you that it does get easier with time, even if it does feel as though they were taken to soon.

My condolences to you and your family.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry for your loss, dear. There is no easy way to deal with the loss. It is too soon to even be thinking of getting over it, you just need coping mechanisms for the next couple of days. Keep praying if that is part of your faith. You are not the only one feeling the loss, but some people keep their grieving to themselves and others tend to let it our more. There is nothing wrong with either way.

You should go to the viewing, partly to say goodbye to the body you knew as his, and partly to give and receive comfort to/from your family.

There is no explaining why people die when they do. Death, like birth, is a part of life. Focus rather on how lucky you were to know him, to be loved by him. Remember the things you did together, the stories he told you, and share those stories with others. My dear friend tells me as long as we remember our loved ones, they never leave us completely. In this way I keep my late mother close to me every day. Remember him, grieve for him, be thankful for him.

And reach out for help when you need it. There will always be an answer.

Answer 5

Things in our lives all cause us to have thoughts and memories, experiences in our mind. The things that cause us to have the most thoughts, expeirences and memories are other people. The people in our lives to whom we are the closest are the ones for which we have the most experiences and memories. When a person such as this passes away, it is like there is a huge hole, a chasm in our mind because we can no longer talk with or interact with that person. Accept that your grandfather is gone. Grieve about it. Remember the good things about him and the experiences you had with him that you enjoyed. Tell your children about him, tell your friends about him. Write about him. In this way you will help fill the void that exists where he once was in your mind. And you will also help him to have a kind of imortality because anyone we have known who we all talk about is still alive in some way. It is when we forget them that they really die.

Answer 6

My sincerest condolences on your loss. If you are not comfortable approaching the coffin, then don't: some people handle viewings better than others. I'd like to say that the sense of loss will go away, but it may never; we remember those we loved, and it is a good thing. I hope that whatever your beliefs may be, they bring you comfort.

Answer 7

I am sorry for you loss...

There are not many words that bring comfort at a time like this. I'm glad he's in Heaven with our Father.

As you know, our days are numbered. We just don't know when or where it will happen. It sounds like he went peacefully (in his sleep). That's a blessing.

You might try thinking about this as his graduation. It's a time of celebration for him. I know that doesn't help to ease your pain.

It's difficult to say good-bye. Remember though, there are no good-byes in Jesus Christ. One day, you will see him again.

There are two songs that come to mind:
Third Day - Cry Out To Jesus
Mercy Me - Homesick

I had someone very close to me die last year and those brought me some comfort.

You are in my thoughts and prayers...

Answer 8

The Bible promises a resurrection back to life (not heaven) for those who are alive in God's memory. Your grandfather will be recreated as a young, strong, healthy individual and if you survive in God's memory (or come through Armegeddon alive), you will be here to greet him and resume your lives together, this time without the influence of Satan and the demons or any ungodly individuals.

Answer 9

tashasenior2005,
You didn't say anything about being a Christian. I hope that both of you are. I can say things that are heartfelt and true at the same time, but only if you are a Christian. I am not trying to sound elitest, it's just that there is a truth in Christianity where the promises of God are distinct and precise. We feel sad at funerals, especially when a loved one passes away, but we know that our sadness is from missing them, and that condition is temporary.

Answer 10

You obviously loved him very much. Saying good buy to him in your heart will help so don't be afraid of seeing him in the coffin. It is OK to feel bad, so don't fight it too much and remember all the joy he brought into your life while he was alive. I will pray God to give you comfort