My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months. the last couple of months, we've been getting into a lot of arguments. A couple a days ago I have noticed a big change in her. Here are some changes; she doesn't call me just to see how im doing on the hour like she used to, the sex is starting to turn bad, the communication is gone, and she has that "I don't care attitude" sometimes to where she don't see my point of view on things. We steady argue over little things every other day. A couple days ago, She called me and said "we need to have a serious talk". My first impression when she said that was that she wants to dump me and she tired of this. To be honest, I love her, but im getting tired of her not listening to me. Here's how I feel; I can really live without her,sorry to say. I understand there's a lot of ladies in the sea. Now how should I handle my self in this serious convo. that she wants to have? Should I dump her before she dumps me. Or whats the most effective way?
2006-10-11 07:55:35 · 25 answers · asked by Just_Asking 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
as soon as you see her let her know that you were about to tell her the same thing and really beleive that having a serious talk is nessasary. If she says she wants to break up tell her that you agree and want to break up with her too. So this way its muteral. If she says that she wants to work on things and try to make it work, than thats up to you, but make sure you tell her how you feel and that what you would like her to do as well. If you dont want things to work out with her tell her that yous need to break up and leave eachother for a while anyways, and tell her what went wrong if you want.
2006-10-11 08:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brother all women are like this & it only gets worse after you marry one of em! :D Depends on how much she means to you. You can always use her conversation as a learning lesson (free advice) for future relationships.
Or call her up before you meet her in person & ask what things she wanted to talk about. She might just spill the beans right there and break up with ya over the phone.
The most effective way to deal with women is to listen to them & change. That's what they want, us guys to validate them. Doesn't matter what we do or say...as long as we "obey" them!
Really if you have a good woman, they use it to clear up the air on things. Which is why it's always a good idea to get the scoop on what they want to talk about beforehand.
Before the big talk, change up, do things she wants you to do. Sure it might be the big kiss off...but sometimes you can change their mind with flowers, compliments & phone calls.
Again, if it's the Titanic (or as the Doors said
"this is the end...") then yeah it's gonna be a bummer. Either call her first or let her have her say. When she talks, don't interupt or fight back. That just signals you aren't listening.
Instead repeat what she says & agree. Don't be a total whimp but see her side if you can. Why? You can always stay friends & even if ya break up, it's usually better to let em vent rather than get ya another way.
Good luck!
2006-10-11 15:10:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go in and have the talk you can live with out her I'm a living example of that. but this is not about me it is you. You do not say how old you are. so that will not help me tell you any thing on that but If she is not listening to you and you both are arguing most of the time then it might be time to call it quits as a mutual thing. Or you might suggest that you take a break to see if you are what each other need. It could be that you need time away from each other to decide . good luck
2006-10-11 15:08:20 · answer #3 · answered by liza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that if it's her idea t have the talk, she's not necessarily ready to dump you, so don't do anything rash quite yet. I had one of those talks not too long ago (it wasn't about arguing or an I don't care attitude, but just about her being sort of withdrawn) and I was a wreck leading into it. Just keep to yourself until then and make sure you know everything you feel like you need to say and then say it. i went through "the talk" about 2 million times in my head before I saw her. And for what it's worth, things have been going great lately.
2006-10-11 15:02:44 · answer #4 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really don't care, it will be more final to her if she is the one to break it off. If you dump her, its rejection and some women won't let go quite so easily if they are being discarded as they would if they are the ones to walk away. If she wants to keep trying, give her a week or so. If it doesn't improve, tell her maybe you should just be friends. Warning: even if she does break it off, if she's deeply in love with you, she may want you back. Think hard about it. Real love is hard to find these days and any relationship is going to have rough times. Think back...are the good times fantastic and the bad times absolutely horrible? Are there a little more good times than bad? Or maybe a lot more good than bad? If yes to the fantastic, don't let it go too fast. You don't find fantastic very often anymore.
2006-10-11 15:09:10 · answer #5 · answered by Angel L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be sure to exercise or workout before the discussion. This will allow you to be as relaxed as possible. Things might work out for you and this girl, but if you are impatient and dump her first you will be giving her exactly what she wants: an end to the relationship on HER terms - she will believe that it is your fault, not hers. If you come across as reasonable and thoughtful, she will realize that SHE is being unreasonable and either act right, or break up with you and feel bad about it, knowing that it was her fault that the relationship ended. Good luck.
2006-10-11 15:00:28 · answer #6 · answered by Travbot the Observer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you 'dump' her, find out what she wants to talk about. I think that you actually stated it the best
"To be honest, I love her, but I'm getting tired of her not listening to me. Here's how I feel; I can really live without her,sorry to say."
Let her start and then feed off of her. She just might surprise you. Good luck.
2006-10-11 14:59:39 · answer #7 · answered by wallcritter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just go into the conversation as an adult. Listen to her but make sure you get your fair chance to talk too. Relationships are a two way street and if she isn't meeting your needs then maybe you need to get out of the relationship before you are too far in. Maybe even make a list of things that you want to change if you want to keep the relationship going. Or, you can cut your losses and just tell her that you think it's time to part ways. Best of luck.
2006-10-11 14:58:29 · answer #8 · answered by betterlife_travel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want to have the talk as soon as possible. Just be honest with your feelings and desires and listen to hers. If it isn't working out, it is better to face the pain sooner than later. You will get past it. Or you may discover what you need to make the relationship work. You don't sound very happy. It's not true that you can't live without her, because you lived before her! It will be better after the talk either direction it takes.
2006-10-11 15:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does it matter who dumps whom first? If you are done with the relationship, there is no sense dragging it on. But, if you think she is planning to dump you and just want to beat her to the punch, that is terribly immature.
I'd wait and see what she says at the talk. It could be that there has been something else going on in her life that has been making her act weird. Maybe you knocked her up. Anyhow, if she does dump you, be nice and tell her you saw that coming and agree that it needed to happen. It should be amicable then.
2006-10-11 15:00:53 · answer #10 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋