I need some advice on coping with my son's estranged father coming back into his life. He hasn't been around for a year and now he want to see my almost three year old, and I have to let him, but I am going crazy inside my head knowing my son will have to be sent to spend time with, essentially, strangers. Does anyone know what I mean? Help!
2006-10-11 07:33:21 · 10 answers · asked by fusillicandace 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would first tell him I would only let him visit at my home or somewhere you can both be with your son,since he is so young and doesn't remember his dad.That why they can both get to know one another again.Then after you see he is going to stay in his life and will be a positive person in his life the you will gradually let him go with him for short periods at a time,until you feel comfortable with him going with him on extended visits.I think it's great his dad wants to see him now,and I hope he will stay an active part in his life,Kids need both parents in their lives.
2006-10-14 16:56:24 · answer #1 · answered by crystal powell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. I would feel as bad as you do and as worried as you do if I were in your shoes. However, nothing much we can do because of the law. Therefore, may be we should lead our self to think optimistically instead of thinking of the worse - either way we will be facing the same situation. Let us just hope that your son's father will treat your son very very good because he would wish your son to recognize him as a father instead of a stranger.
2006-10-11 14:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by mimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are going though. Two of my kid's father decided not to see them for over 5 years then made a reappearance and wanted to be daddy again. What I did was let him see them at my home or at a neutral location for a couple months until they were comfortable with him. That time also gave me a chance to see if he was going to treat them alright. When I felt comfortable then I let him take them on his own. I don't know if you can work something out like that but if you can it will benefit all of the parties involved.
2006-10-11 14:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by firefly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i felt the same way when my daughter's father wanted weekend visitation.. i went crazy the entire time she was gone and was terribly relieved when he brought her home.
He has been seeing her for nearly a year now and she loves spending time with him and his girl friend.
Now i even look forward to their weekend visits..
it will be hard at first. Just give it a chance. your son is old enough to tell u if things aren't going well. watch for problem signs if none surface enjoy the time alone and be relieved that your son is getting a chance to know his father.
2006-10-11 14:41:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea i know what you men, My son who is now 6 had to deal with his father coming in and out of his life for the past 6 years. Right now i guess hes "out" he hasnt seen him for about 1 1/2 years now. My son NEVER remembers him. Its a horrible feeling. But on the same hand when our babies are older, they will respect you for at least trying to involve the other parent. I send my sons father cards and pictures every year. But i know in the long run my son will see that i at least tried. Like it or not our son is a part of that man. Thats just part of reality and no matter how much time is spent with the "other" parent, it will never get any easier. Just act happy for the sake of your son it will only make it easier on him to try enjoy his father. If he see's you stressed it will make it hard for him, He will worry on trying to please you and he will feel like hes letting you down if he actually enjoys spending time with this man. Hang in there and goodluck need to talk get ahold of me :)
2006-10-11 14:39:32 · answer #5 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with getting a lawyer. You should see about starting out with supervised visitations since he has been out of his life for a year. That way you can have some ease knowing that your son is safe.
2006-10-11 14:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by missportal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I know what you mean. That's why I haven't gone to court for full custody of my child. I can't stand the thought of her father getting her by himself for visitation.
2006-10-11 15:50:04 · answer #7 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer who specializes in family law. He/she can give you all the info you need.
2006-10-11 14:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have my compassion, its going to be a bumby road
2006-10-11 14:43:49 · answer #9 · answered by Justme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he is a good dad (all anger aside) then let him see his son, but if he is a crappy dad get a lwayer and have proof!
2006-10-11 14:41:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋