So here’s the story...
Today guy #1 asked me out. I was caught off guard so I said ok… Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy with a lot of interesting things to say… but he’s a bit of a geek, and not really my type…
The thing is, I’ve had a crush on guy #2 for the longest time (no one know about it) and I have no clue if he likes me back or not…
The 3 of us are all part of the same group of like 15 good friends. So I feel like no matter what I do, we’ll all see each other everyday and things are going to become weird.
I already told a few of my friends that guy #1 asked me out (I didn’t say anything about my crush on guy #2 though) and I told them I liked guy #1 as a friend, but I‘d feel weird dating him. But they said go for it, you got nothing to lose.
But I feel that if I do go out with him, I’m kissing goodbye to my chances with guy #2. But if I turn Guy #1 down, I’ll feel like a ******. Got it?
Ideas anyone? I’m going crazy here. I’m open to any suggestion!
2006-10-11 07:26:55 · 46 answers · asked by ♥ AnGeL oF cLaRiTy ♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Would that be ok to go up to guy #2 and say « look , guy #1 asked me out, but I really like *you*, and if you like me too i’d rather go out with you instead» ? would that be ok or maybe a bit much?
2006-10-11 07:35:52 · update #1
what I mean is I feel dating #1 eliminates #2 because the two of them are friends... and it's kind of like a guy rule: never date your friend's ex-girlfriend, ya know...
2006-10-11 08:00:47 · update #2
Well... You need to be honest with guy #1. If you cannot see yourself dating him - even going on one date with him... then you need to explain. Maybe he has had a crush on you for a while and finally got the balls to ask you out... how would you feel if your crush went out with you just because he felt bad?
Anyways... be honest. Tell Guy #1 that you consider him just a good friend, and if he wanted more... you'd have to decline on the date. If he just wants to go out and have some fun... go for it! Nothing to lose!
Now, that you have told guy #1 about how you feel... you need to step up to guy #2 and ask him out! Suggest you guys go bowling or catch a movie... Maybe do something you know he likes to do. Show some interest.
I hope he likes ya back.. but don't feel bad if he feels the same about you like you feel about guy #1...
Be honest with yourself... open up.
2006-10-11 07:35:31 · answer #1 · answered by InnerBeauty28 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, you should definitely go out with guy #1. There are two very good outcomes you seem to be missing. First, you might find out he's more likeable and fun than you realized. Also, sometimes the geeky guys are the ones who graduate college with engineering degrees and make 6-figure incomes. So, don't discount him! Second, let's say you don't end up liking guy #1 even after dating him. As long as you don't lead him on or let him think it's very serious, you should be able to break up with him without too much mess. The advantage to this scenario is that you dating guy #1 might get guy #2 to think of you as legitimate dating material. You becoming unavailable to him for awhile might make him think about wanting to date you, in a way he has not yet been forced to do. So go for it -- don't let indecision make you end up doing nothing and having NO fun.
2006-10-11 07:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've done this!!! Except Guy #2 wasn't in my group of friends thankfully!! Basically, I felt very weird going out with Guy #1 as I was pretty much in love with someone else and t's really hard to go from being friends to more than that! I broke up with Guy #1 (I only said yes because he cornered me on the way to class!!) and although it's been a bit awkward, I know I've been true to myself and in a group of 15 ish, we could sit with other people but still be in the same group, get it? So I think break up with him gently explaining that dating him would be unfair on him because you're not all in the relationship (you don't even have to say why you're not). It should smooth out after a month or so, when he's hurting less. And it's definately worth it, even if you feel a bit guilty at first because you're being honest to him, and to yourself!! Hope I helped :)
2006-10-11 07:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by yeraciba 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's simple, I dont see any harm with you going out with guy 1 just as long as you lay it all out on the table that it's not so much as a date but a friendly get together to hang out. Be upfront and honest with him and don't lead him on because if you do lead him to believe that you're the slightest bit interested in him he might just go back to guy2 and tell him that you're a beyotch. So that wouldnt be the smartest thing to do. Nowwww next you really need to let guy 2 who is your crush know how you feel about him. Whether it be asking him out on a date or writing him a letter or something. Because you just crushing on him without him knowing seriously isnt going to do any good. You're gonna go through life wondering what if or what would of happened if only you told him how you felt if only you were woman enough to make that first move. Go for it, just say hey listen i was just wondering if you wanted to go see a movie or something simple and then take it from there but dont keep crushing or holding it in because the only person you're driving crazy is yourself. You need to let him know what's going on he's not a mind reader!
2006-10-11 07:33:58 · answer #4 · answered by bebechinadoll_01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you go on a date w/ guy#1 and after just tell him that you would prefer being just friends. That would let the other guy now that you're up for dating but not necessarily looking for something serious (even if you are- guys are scared of the idea of serious but once they're in a serious relationship they'e usually okay with it). Maybe after (a couple weeks after) going out with guy #1 you could ask guy #2 to the movies or something.
2006-10-11 07:32:54 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go out with guy #1 and have fun. Dating does not mean you have a contract to stay with him. Just don't let guy #1 make any ideas about you if you are not serious with him. You will be respected more like that. As far as guy #2 good luck with him, but don't think by dating others automatically eliminates him.
2006-10-11 07:40:26 · answer #6 · answered by Artguer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to give guy #1 a chance. If he doesn't meet your expectations, you'll have a legit reason to stop dating him. He'll understand. Maybe you'll get over your crush with guy #2, and stay with #1. Be careful though, don't be concentrating on guy #2 when your dating #1. If that happens, don't waste #1's time, and tell him you just want to stay friends. Everybody wants what they can't have, so sit down and list the pro/cons of both guys. You'll prob. find out #2 is just a fantasy...
2006-10-11 07:34:05 · answer #7 · answered by jackalope_00 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go out with guy #1, you might find that he is fun to be with. So, he is a little geeky and not your type. Give him a chance, opposites do attract, and know many who are married.
Guy #2 may be who you have a crush on, but he has never asked you out and may never will. Sometimes those we have a crush on, usually are the guys that we can't have. Or they end up being the worse date you ever had.
2006-10-11 07:43:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL Big B is funny (NICE!!)
Sometimes the geeky ones are a great catch and are more successful in life, on the other hand if he does not do it for you, tell him in a respectful way, don't play games, (not saying you are) just be honest is all i am saying. As for guy #2 since you are all within the same group of friends my suggestion is stay away from dating anyone within the same group, it can cause problems in the long run. There are plenty of men who you will find attractive and nice outside the group. The "group" does not grow on trees, dont mess with it and search within another pond
2006-10-11 07:34:17 · answer #9 · answered by pauliesoxin04 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off, you should've let guy #2 kno how u felt before u told guy number 1 yes. If he's not your type you shouldn't have said yes. Now guy 1 is gonna be thinking about everything int he future with you guys w/o knowing that you're really not feeling him. Guy number 2 might have a secret crush on you too! You just went about this whole thing all wrong. Now, to keep things going good. You should just let #1 know before it's too l8 & he labels u as a bitc.h, & tell guy 2 how you feel. Either way it'll be kind of weird b/c if u tell guy 1 you're not feeling him or whatever your excuse may be, and he see's you with guy 2 he's gonna think of u as a bitc.h anyway. you get me? You should've just told him i dunno...and found out about your crush first. You've got yourself in a hole my dear. U may get out of it safely, you may not...Just try your best n make the right decision. thak u come again.
2006-10-11 07:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by NVR UNDRESTM8 KARMA 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋