but will i have the strength to leave him when/if i meet someone that i ll like more? do you think i should feel sorry for myself that i go out w/ someone just not to be left alone? its not that i dont like him, i just dont feel crazy in love....do you think it might work after all or will i always be miserable about not being with THE ONE?
2006-10-11 07:23:37 · 11 answers · asked by elenitsa!!!! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am going to tell you a shocking truth!!! Are you ready?
Well, the truth is you will never find a man whom you are going to feel crazy in love!
Wait, don't frown your face. Let's deal with facts as such.
First of all, you think you don't want to be alone. There are two aspects to it.
- You need acceptance and recognition.
- Only when you are with someone it gives you self-confidence
Now, from the point needing acceptance, i can see, that you are desparate to get that from someone who you think need not be in love. The desparation drives you to the point.
You love yourself so much. And any one else's love is not that important to you. All the time your depsparation for acceptance makes you think "What I am getting in this relationship?" "Am I getting accepted here" "Would there be someone better to accept me"
And you know all these relationships disappoint you.
What is the solution then?
It is not a very difficult solution, but a very practical one.
Ask yourself why you are unable to love the person whom you are with right now? Why do you think you would need someone better to come and fillin the relationship? What traits or charectors you look for? Would you really be happy with a person who has all these expected qualities. What if he has all these qualities and yet can not love you. What are all the weakness on your part? How would you feel if someone rejects you for your weakness? Are you treating others how you don't want to be treated?
Learn to accept those who are in your life as they are and who they are. Try finding reasons why you can love them than finding reasons why you can't love. Then someone you are going with, might turn out to be the person you ever wanted to be with.
Love has a magic. Spell it right, you'll find it.
Wish you all the best!!!
2006-10-11 11:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the idea is stuck in your head, that your not crazy in love with him, and he's not the one... than I don't know how you could go on and live a lie. This was pretty much the same situation I was in, and I'm currently alone now with just a few good friends to fall back on. I say going single would be the way to go... it would hurt him less in the long run.
2006-10-11 07:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by dorothy d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you go out with someone as friends, nothing to feel guilty of; if you are wasting the time of a serious person who wants to be in relationship, you should feel sorry for him. If a relationship going to work, it will spark and work after some trigger; if it doesn't meant to be, no matter how hard you try, it won't work. And that's why you are posting such question here...
2006-10-11 07:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by The Wondering Why 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think feeling sorry for yourself is already what you do too much of. Staying in a relationship with someone you don't want to be with is chickenshit and you are a coward if being alone scares you that much.
2006-10-11 07:26:37 · answer #4 · answered by arcadia_1977 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's unfair to lead this other person on. The best way to find someone who is completely right for you is to be a lone for a while and prove to yourself that you can do it and still lead a happy life. Once you find true contentment with yourself the right person will come along.
2006-10-11 07:27:28 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should NOT be with someone just because you are lonely it is not fair to either one of you-especially not the other person who will get hurt if you find someone better.
What is so wrong w/ just being by yourself. If you can't stand to be alone with yourself, then how is anyone else going to be able to stand to be with you?!
2006-10-11 07:27:58 · answer #6 · answered by what 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows, life takes twists and you might end up crazy in love with that person. But if you really know they arent the one, let them know so when you do meet Mr. Right he wont take it as such a shock
2006-10-11 07:28:02 · answer #7 · answered by FishyFace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be hard being alone. I've had so many lonely nights myself. Is it wrong to date to keep from the lonliness? NO. as long as its understood between you and the person you're dating that you're not looking for anything serious.
2006-10-11 07:27:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'll eventually get over it. Sometimes 'the one' isn't.
2006-10-11 07:26:19 · answer #9 · answered by FacingEviction 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No .. don't feel sorry ....
You are just being selfish ... It is o.k.
Or is it ??
2006-10-11 07:27:04 · answer #10 · answered by kyss_k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋