I am 24 weeks pregnant and my hubby said I have a bad attitude.?

Question

I don't dought that I am moody, and hormonal, but I am always yelling at my oldest daughter. She is 5. She won't clean her room or do anything I ask, she used to. Am I the problem? or is she just really not listening? I have tryed to take a step back and look before I yell and when she is drawing a beautiful picture on the wall with permanant marker, I can't help but scream at her. Should I ask about getting on something? I have taked effexor before, but not until after a pregnancy. What to do?????

please no rude answeres, I am looking for opinion, and would like to hear whoever has a resonable answer. Thank you

my hubby works alot. He is a cop and works long hours, alot of graveyards. I am a stay at home mom. I do have a four year old daughter as well. She does not make me mad all the time though.

ok perfect example. Just happened, ok still happening. I made her Nachos for lunch. She wants refried beans, but we are out. She old me that we do to have them, and continues to bring me every can off the shelf. I told her I know we are out, and I will buy more for next time, but she refuses to believe me!!! ahhhhh!!!

Answer 1

She's 5. She may have done it before cause it was new and fun... now she's not so happy about it... try sitting in her room with her and have her clean it with you. Just have her do more, and maybe explain a little about responsibilities... Keep it at a 5 year old level of course.

Answer 2

My baby is 17 weeks as of Monday, so I remeber the pregnancy hormonal blues all to well. Your hormones are raging right now and you probably feel nuts like you are losing your mind and your husband thinks you are crazy and over reacting and your kids seem to be doing extra annoying things to make you pull your hair out. Do not head for the meds yet. You are ok everyone else just need to be more understanding. And forget those who say they did not feel or go through this during their pregnancy. Everyone is different. I went through it and it was very difficult. The difference with me, I was dealing with a 12 year old and a 15 year old at the time. I pretty much wanted to strangle the 15 year old ( for legal reasons I DID NOT!! ) most of the time. Oh by the way 15 year old is a girl, 12 year old is a boy. My daughter drove me nuts from day one up until I was ready to pop, then she was excited about the baby. My son was a joy throughout the pregnancy. I was so sad and frustrated and teary all the time, I thought I needed help or medication, I went to see the doctor and explained that my husband was starting to think I was off my rocker and quickly losing my mind. The doctor assured me it was my hormones and pregnancy and I would be fine. My husband literally thought I was suffering pre natal and post partum depression at the same time, and feared he would have to keep the new baby away from me for a while until I got better.
( I could have strangled him too) (again legal reasons!!) Do not despair you will be fine! Enjoy your pregnancy and bond with the little life inside of you, let the first two tear down the house and tell your husband to rebuild it when he gets home from work. GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS.

Answer 3

She's probably feeling that she needs to do more to get your attention. She's already "competing" with her current sibling and the new baby is another person for you and your husband to share love with. It doesn't help that babies always get a lot of attention and usually get a handful of new gifts, whether first or third. If it helps at all, most children to regress a little bit in the presence of a younger sibling. Though the older they are, the less noticeable and less persisting it is.
Of course you should continue to discipline her as necessary (such as stopping the fun activities until she does what is asked) but also take the time to reassure her that you have enough love for everybody. If you can, take some time to focus on each child without mentioning the others and get both involved in some way or another. Ask them what toys, blankets, etc they think the baby will like.
For yourself, it may help to pick up a gym membership now. Get access to a pool and enjoy the chance to relax. Many gyms offer prenatal and family memberships/classes. Provided the gym doesn't charge crazy prices, it'll do you a big mental and physical favor.

Edited: Additonal details added while I was still typing the first time.

Answer 4

First off it sounds to me that you are very stressed out! You are going through alot of hormonal changes which doesn't help either! Your 5 year old is being a typical 5 year old....you might want to look into this a little further.....has she always acted out or is this something that she has done since you have got pregnant? She might be rebelling because she wants attention and she feels that she can't get it....she might be angry that you are having another child (which is typical). I wouldn't get on effexor or any other medication for that matter. You need to take a deep breath have the hubby help as much as possible...sit down and talk to your daughter with a nice tone not yelling and finally take a small breaks to do something nice for yourself!

Answer 5

Hi, it's ok, i'm going through the same, only that my baby has 11 months and my daughter will be 5 in december, i get easily mad at her and scream, she wants attention, and she knows that the bad way is the fastes way, try spending all the time you can with her, make her feel loved and cared for, also take every marker and stuff like that as far away as possible, lol!!, let her have her crayons and draw with her from time to time, she needs you now, and you should really apreciated this few moments with her, cause after the baby is born it just gets way harder and that hurts her.
You can ask your husband to help qhen you're tired, to spend some time with her, so you can relax for a bit, don't yell cause she didn't clean her room, try "bribing" her, i'll give you something if you....we'll go to the park if you....and in the worts case try picking up her room WITH her, that will make her happy, just cause you're there.

Answer 6

I sometimes had no patience with my daughter when I was pregnant too. You may not feel moody and hormonal but you probably are. And yes drawing on the walls would make any normal person go nuts. I had my baby almost a week ago and already feel that I have more patience with our 2 year old. Just try to remember that you are more than half way there and should feel better soon. So next time hubby says you have a bad attitude, just say "yes I do" and that should confuse him for a little bit. :-)

Answer 7

The worst thing that you could do is yell at your child. Have you thought that she may just be crying out for attention because mommy is going to have a new baby? Try spending more time with her doing things that she likes and let her know that when the baby comes, you are still her mommy and you will love her and the baby just the same. Instead of yelling, try asking her why didn't she clean her room and try having some type of punishment for not doing things that mommy and daddy says. Make a chart out of a poster board and get some stickers. Make coloums for each day of the week and rows for each task that the is supposed to do everyday. At the end of each day, you and her put stickers on the board for each task that she has done for that day. At the end of each week, count how many stars she has and reward her for the things that she does at least six times out of the week. You can have a different reward for each task and if she does everything, let her pick what she wants to do on the up coming saturday and you all do it together as a family. This is something that you can keep doing with her and bring you new baby into it when he or she gets of age.

Answer 8

Think about all the growth and learning a 5 year old does in a 9 month period. A lot. Many issues have to be taught through and dealt with in that span of time, whether your pregnant and hormonal or not.

Personally, I think that if you can still talk with her before reacting with shouting or punishment, and then follow through with raised voices and punishment, then you're fine.

Your ability to see the need for parenting doesnt change with pregnancy, your finess about handling situations is what goes lax. It doesnt mean her behavior doesnt need handled, it just means sometimes you have a harder time doing it efficiently.

I promise she wont suffer for it, so long as you can keep your mind clear enough to see the problem, the solution, and go for it.

Your husband is better able to pick up on your mood swings than your daughter is, so he can probably sense your frustraition more easily with these situations than your daughter, so he's reaction is to be defensive. Her's isnt, unless she realizes whats happening.

I'd ask him to please uphold you in your parenting, but to be present to police the situation and soften (not negate) your handlement of the situation. Its not like you're out of control, but you're a team, so go ahead and work together.

Answer 9

Sweetheart what you are experiencing is normal! But you need to take a break! Take some time out just for yourself even if it is just a couple of hours a week! You are getting burnt out! All parents go through this so don't feel bad! :) Go to the mall and buy you something, read a book, do whatever it was that you liked to do before you had kids. All parents need to do something for their-self, by their-self at least once a week. Set a day out of the week where you husband is home to watch your daughter and every week on that day at that time it is mommy time. Make sure you even have him watch her when you are getting ready too! On that day at that time they are not allowed to bother you! I promise if you stick to this you will feel alot better! :)

Answer 10

You are the problem. Remember she is only 5 years old and you're suppose to be the adult. So you know yelling isn't working so try some thing else. Take some thing away from her that she likes and explain to her why. Also tell her how she can get her processions back. By not doing those things you don't like. Also praise her when she does some thing nice or right. Try that instead of yelling.

Answer 11

Does your daughter listen to your husband or is he even trying to get her to behave? It isn't fair for you or her if you are the only one disciplining her. If he's not even trying then maybe she doesn't understand why she should bother to listen to you either.

Before starting a medication, I would sit your husband down and try to come up with a game plan, a list of chores and suitable punishments if she doesn't carry through. Also, have suitable rewards. You both need to be firm and consistent, and at the end of the day confer with each other to critic each other's job with her. It will make you both feel better, and if it doesn't solve the problem you will know you tried everything you could before starting medication while pregnant.