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i am scared to ask him out and scared to call him how do u overcome the fear of rejection?

2006-10-11 06:57:06 · 15 answers · asked by ABBEY H 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

15 answers

You're just like me (Sorta!)
Anyways...
Make sure to hang out in places where you know you will see the guy you have a crush on. This could be at the mall, the movies, or maybe at the baseball field if he's an athlete. Walk up to him slowly and introduce yourself. Many guys are too afraid to walk up to a girl. If he is friendly to you back, you can keep on talking to him.
Make eye contact with him. If he makes eye contact back for five seconds and twice or more, he's probably interested too. Make sure he's not looking at you because you're doing something extremely weird or he is the cashier.
When you have the opportunity, talk to him or his friends and find out if he has a girlfriend.
Commence flirting. This can mean thing such as touching him lightly on the arm, or laughing at his jokes. Sometimes, you can flirt from afar and entice him to come over to you.
Ask him what kind of things he likes to do, such as what he likes to eat, if he likes to play sports, or if he's a movie lover. Once you find something you both have in common, ask if he'd like to do it together sometime.
If he says no, or seems like he needs more time, don't get too upset; always say you can just be friends if that's what he wants. Chances are, he'll change his mind. Guys do this a lot. Whatever you do, don't trash him to others; it makes you look bad.
If he says yes, then plan where and when you will go out, and don't forget to have fun. Since you asked, you should pay for the date, unless he insists.
Tips
On the day you plan to ask the guy out, make sure to wear an outfit that gives you confidence. This will make you much more comfortable and give you the courage to make your move.
Try not to be too nervous...guys love being asked out, since they're the ones usually doing all the work in these situations.
Ask him about himself, and act like you're genuinely interested.
Don't assume that he's less of a man just because he didn't make the first move. He might be shy, or think that you're "out of his league", or taken.
Always smile, it shows that you're confident.
While you are asking him, don't do it like an interview, try to ask smoothly with sentences that are connected to each other.
Since you're being a non traditional woman, you may want to consider a non traditional date. Many if not most guys would appreciate a hiking trip, swim and sauna, sports event, or video game showdown as a first date. Sometimes competitive and/or physical activities get a man's blood flowing.
If you have some money to spend try buying some "pheromones". Your body produces these naturally and it is a, for the most part, unnoticeable scent. Many guys who have liked a women who have worn this, didn’t know why they liked her, they “Just did”. These "pheromones" are proven to attract guys. Note: If you buy them make sure they are for women, not to attract women.
Warnings
Some girls try to get guys to ask them out by making them jealous or playing hard to get. This can backfire because the guy could give up, or get annoyed by your tactics. The best approach is to be honest and straightforward about your feelings.
Don't be too aggressive. Assertiveness is attractive, but hostility is not.
Even if you have asked a guy out, it does not mean you are obligated to do anything you don't want to on the date. If you ever feel uncomfortable, get out of the situation right away.
If he's "famous" amongst your friends, don't brag about him getting your number. Bragging is a turn-off.
Some guys already have a girlfriend, or are still getting over a breakup, so try not to ask while he is still in a sensitive mood.
Don't just ask a guy out so that you can have a boyfriend. Find a guy you really, truly like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If u get rejected there's plenty of othe rguys that could being having a crush on u right now without u knowing!!!

2006-10-11 07:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by saiyuki c 2 · 0 0

You'll never overcome it totally. If you have a lot of emotions at stake you may want to reconsider asking him. You could feel out the situation instead by innocently flirting with him and seeing if it's returned. All people give out signals when they're interested in someone else. If he gives you the thumbs up then take a chance. There's always fear of rejection in any situation where you put yourself out first. If you want to try to call him in a friendly way you can also feel it out that way too. If you don't normally talk to this guy and you're trying to make a jump into his life then you may want to consider ways of accidentally bumping into him or finding ways to run into him. An example would be to throw a party or have a friend throw a party and find a way to invite him. He has to actually see you before he'll want to date you.

2006-10-11 14:04:12 · answer #2 · answered by rowster 2 · 0 0

first thing don't start thinking about rejection now take one step at a time , pick up the phone and call him and tell him how you fell. than if rejects u life is not over there are many fish in the sea and this one wasn't right for u call a friend and go out it will always take your mind off the situation

2006-10-11 14:10:13 · answer #3 · answered by lynn 1 · 0 0

Well I guess you finally found out what it feels like to be rejected by the other sex. Men have been going through this for years. Sometimes they make you feel really low and if you were the last person on earth - Ha ! The shoe begins to fit on the other foot !!
Just call him and ask if he would like to go out for a drink and some happy hour. If not, than just move on to other guys who would appreciate your company.

2006-10-11 14:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by craig t 2 · 0 0

we all have fear of rejection and the reality of it is we will be rejected over and over in different areas of our lives for as long as we live. but if you don't get out there and do something because of fear then you don't get to live you just exist. ask him out.

2006-10-11 14:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by jusme 5 · 0 0

Just do it.... The biggest mistake i regret is not telling a great friend that i was attracted to him and now he is with someone that is not a good match... She is Phsyco.. and our mutual friends say that if i would have made a move he would have been into a relationship... BUT I WAS SCARED is that what you wanna think about.

2006-10-11 14:01:32 · answer #6 · answered by Stuffin 2 · 0 0

I don't think you can really over come it all you can really do is put yourself out there. Think of it this way if you don't ask then you will never. Like the GI Joe's used to say and knowing is half the battle

2006-10-11 14:04:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0 0

by getting rejected and realizing life is not over, move on.

2006-10-11 13:59:27 · answer #8 · answered by redbone_lds 5 · 0 0

Don't think of it as rejection if it happens, think of it as his lose. If he doesn't see what great person that you are then he doesn't deserve to be with you.

2006-10-11 14:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by Jennie 2 · 0 0

Just do it. walk up to him and just say.. I was wondering if you would like to go catch a movie (pick a couple of movies and suggest them ) this weekend.

2006-10-11 14:04:46 · answer #10 · answered by .... 5 · 0 0

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