how do i talk to a female if you are shy?

Question

i am shy and i dont know how to talk to women please help

Answer 1

OK, confidence building 101 ... I posted this same answer for another guy, but it seems to apply to you too, so I hope that you don't mind the cut & paste.

You are probably taking it personally when other people do not react to you in the way that you expect them to. Learn how to stop doing that (taking it personally), and you will have solved most of your problem (it worked for me).

First of all, how people react to you probably has more to do with them, and the kind of day that they were having so far, than it does with you. If someone does not want to talk to you, act as if it is no big deal (no matter how she reacts) and move on to the next person. The opinion of just ONE person does not matter, so quit worrying about the reaction of the last crazy person that you met. There ARE nice people out there, and you will find them if you keep talking to people.

Women think that self-confidence is sexy, so when you approach her, treat her as an old acquaintance whom you haven't seen in awhile -- in short, act comfortable around her and act like fun (act the same way you would act if she were a GUY instead of a girl -- she's only human, after all, no different than everyone else).

By the way, if you seem needy, overly shy, too awkward, or too nervous around people, then they will feel hesitant about speaking to you because they will feel like you are a person who is easily offended, and they will feel nervous talking to you. Approach people with a self-confident smile that implies that you already know that they will like you, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy since your positive attitude will be catching. Make sure that you make consistent eye contact, because that implies interest in the other person (always flattering), and it implies self-confidence (the opposite of fearful & needy). Keep talking to different people, and you will soon become better at it. You will soon feel confident, since you will realize that it is not really all that difficult.

BTW, if you find yourself staring at a cute girl, and she looks up and sees you looking at her, do NOT do what most guys do; most guys in this situation will get shy and immediately look AWAY. If you read girls responses on Y!A, you will notice that this freaks girls out. If she sees you, ALWAYS maintain eye contact no matter how scary it seems, until SHE looks away. This makes you look confident. After that, do not keep looking at her. Ignore her and go talk to other people. She will probably come over and talk to you in order to see what's up.

Also, when you are talking to a girl, and you feel too shy to maintain eye contact, make sure that you look away by moving your eyes horizontally across the room as if you were looking for someone else. Do NOT look down, like most shy guys do (she will think that you are looking at her boobs, and get offended). If you do accidentally offend someone, don't be so apologetic about it that you look line a wimp (in the long run, women hate that). Just calmly say that you are sorry once and if she cannot drop it, then either tell her to drop it, or else find someone else to talk to.

Oh yea, try to develop a sense of humor. You want to come across as "fun", but don't crack jokes so much that you seem "goofy". Anything can be overdone. This may seem counter-initiative, but when you talk to a girl, try opening with a joke about something that she is wearing, doing, or looking at. Make fun of her a little. As long as it is funny, you will look confident for taking a risk by saying something that might possibly be offensive (she is unsure), and you will also seem fun for making her laugh. If she gets upset, just look at her calmly an say, it was only a joke.


If you are still felling nervous around people, remember this, you are a nice person, aren't you? Don't you make a loyal and good friend? If so, then anyone who doesn't want to talk to you is missing out, since THEY do not get to meet YOU. If a person doesn't want to be your friend, then they are the one who have lost their chance to meet a great person like yourself. Anyone who doesn't want to meet you probably did you a favor, since you don't want to be friends with a shallow person anyway, and they saved you the trouble of dumping them.

Also keep in mind that girls don't always know how to act around guys either. The ones who are getting nervous and running away laughing probably do that to every hot guy, not just you, since they lack confidence themselves. Act as if you didn't even notice, and go talk to someone else. If she is just nervous, then she will eventually get her courage back and come talk to you if you don't make a big deal out of it.

Answer 2

Pretend she is one of your guy friends. At least approach her that way. The best way to start a conversation is to bring up something you both have in common. For example, if the woman you wish to talk to works with you, tell her a funny story about someone you both know. If you see someone you want to meet, why not just go up and ask her the time and mention the lovely day. The truth is, practice makes perfect and the more times you go up to women, the easier it gets. You can't let opportunities pass you by! Seize the day. If you are very shy make it a goal to meet 5 new people a day. Use your natural charm, pretend it is a contest. You might just meet some really nice people (men and women!) and get more comfortable talking to women you do and don't know. Smile a lot and people will smile back!
Good luck, hope I helped a little!

Answer 3

The more confident you are the easier it will be for you in the long run (in general and in talking to females).

Realize that what you bring to the table, your honest self, doesn't need to be hidden or explained away - you're good to go! And even if you are shot down, think nothing of it. It might have absolutely nothing to do with you. Seriously... think nothing of it.

Other than that, you'll need an icebreaker. Why don't you ask a lot of questions and prepare to do a lot of listening - that's a pretty safe way to go about it.

Good luck

Answer 4

Shy or not the only way to talk to a woman is to just do it. You never know shy guys may be her thing. Shy guys turn me on.

Answer 5

your pretty much screwed unless you boost your confidence. If you want a serious booster, try super pump 250 from gaspari nutrition. I work at a fitness club, and this stuff will kick you in the pants! take the full dose of it, and you'll probably have asked over 5 girls out in one night!! (don't take my word for it, I'm just speculating)

Answer 6

in case you may take a seat close to her earlier your classification starts off you may whisper some thing in her ear immediately. some thing random or humorous, ex: superb shoes or the proff seems offended right this moment. And smiles are effective each and every time words are no longer being spoken. good success

Answer 7

Like one person said..Practice in the mirror.
It may sound silly, but if you practice what you're going to say, it'll be awhole lot easier when you go talk to her, and it'll seem like you have more confidence.
Good Luck!

Answer 8

Try making a comment on a mutual situation.
"what a cute dog"
or
"that's a good restaurant"
or
"don't you love it when we get out early?"
or
something positive that you can both clearly see at the time.
if she is interested in you she will respond.

Answer 9

find a female friend that you are completely relaxed with and practice talking. make sure you 2 are just friends tho!

Answer 10

Do what most guys do...practice in the mirror. Trust me the mirror was made to be your best friend