I want to get married, Can't i fall in love after the wedding?

Question

Just want to know what ya'll think. I'm only 22, recent grad, w/ new job, BUT I really just want to get married. I enjoy being domestic (not b/c of social norms but b/c i enjoy it). I really want to have 5 children and I need to get started. The baby itch has kicked in. I get alot of 'play' so I was just wondering, If i pick one of these guys (you know one with ambition, similar religious and poli beliefs, a good looking one, who i can tolerate) and we get married, can't I just fall in love with or teach myself to love him later?

no really, I'm serious. I'm really dedicated and i never quit so, why wouldnt this work.

Answer 1

I recommend falling in love first. If you marry first and then try to fall in love later, it could be destined to fail and end up in divorce.

Then, if you produce children within the course of the marriage and figure out later that you just don't have that kind of feelings or are not in love with your husband, things could get messy. Divorces can get nasty when there are children involved and you could end up even more heartbroken to see the children ripped apart with the family because things might not work out.

That's not to say it definitely couldn't work out, and I definitely know where you are coming from with the baby itch--I have the baby fever all the time. But, I think you would be much happier if you chose someone that you are truly in love with now, and then got married to that one man. That's not fool proof either and some of those marriages fail later on as well, but at least you might have a shot at true happiness instead of settling for someone you're not really meant to be with and then later on in life meeting the man that could really be "the one."

Answer 2

This might actually work out best. The love you feel in the beginning is usually based on lust. If you find someone that you find physically attracted to and has the same core value system as you do, you probably will fall in love with him. It can't work out any worse than the rest of the population with a 50% divorce rate! At least you would be deciding with your head!

Answer 3

Anybody can make a marriage work if they want to. Arranged marriages have seemed to be more successful in history than long drawn our courtships. Because people used to stick to old fashion values. THe good ol "till death do us part". People seem to have forgotten that is in the wedding vowes Along with "for better or for worse." Love is sacrafice. if you put your heart and soul into something and you are dedicated. Of course you can grow to love someone. We love our family even though we didn't choose them do we not? we got stuck with them we didn't court to find a family. I would advice you to marry for the right reasons however but you are entitled to do it in which ever way you want to do it. My grandparents dated for two weeks before they were married and they are still married and happy. They had a few rocky years but they made it through and they stuck it out and they are better for it.

Answer 4

i think of which you have been all actual youthful to get married, nevertheless you have been all jointly for a protracted time earlier getting married, it doesnt truly count huge form. The cheating got here out because of the fact they in all risk felt they have been too youthful to be tied down already. I dont see the kind you and Steve stayed married to those people for subsequently long understanding that they have got been cheating. I dont think of youre incorrect for whats occurring proper now, yet utilising the excuse that the others did it first, that in basic terms sounds like it started as a revenge against them. understanding each little thing you suggested nevertheless, it doesnt sound like revenge in any respect, seems such as you 2 discovered an hassle-free floor jointly and it grew from there. What i could do in my view is divorce your husband, if he cheated on you at an identical time as residing with you, what do you think of hes doing with you in a diverse united states? As for Steves lady, in the event that they're nonetheless married yet shes engaged back, she has to concern a divorce. feels like she'll be the only to do it for Steve on condition that he wont do it himself. it truly is complicated for a guy to desire to pass that course each so often, dont comprehend why given the placement he wouldnt desire a divorce from her nevertheless. I say in basic terms save occurring with what youre doing, feels like youre happier now, best for you, and finally itll in all risk in basic terms fall into place by potential of itself. bear in mind, dont be tied all the way down to a identify like marriage, the midsection needs what the midsection needs.

Answer 5

Wow, there is someone out there that is my polar opposite. Your an idiot. You know the answer to this question. Your selfish and shallow. For your own fufillment you want a big party (a wedding without true vows) and to bring chidren into this world for your own personal fufilment. If you want someone to care for, adopt a child that needs someone to care for them. Oh, thats not what your into I bet. You've got the "baby itch" and want to bring more kids into this world and screw the ones already out there that need love and real families.

Answer 6

I guess in theory it sounds nice but why would you want a loveless marriage? Besides in these days marriages come and go faster than you can change your panties, even when they say they are in love.

Answer 7

you could, but why short change yourself?
of course i am in a relationship now where i was madly in love to start with and now we have nothing in common...
i guess i can see both sides...if you are dedicated, then you can make it work...
good luck.

Answer 8

NO, DON'T DO IT. WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT? WHAT IF YOU DON'T GET ALONG? WHAT IF HE CHEATS ON YOU? YOU'LL HAVE A HUGE MESS ON YOUR HANDS. DO IT THE OLD FASHIONED WAY, FALL IN LOVE FIRST.