and not even give them a heads up to let them know this is going to be the case. Has anyone heard of such a thing?
2006-10-11 05:13:41 · 16 answers · asked by bella 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
By the way, my son (18) traveled to another State at his cost, his hotel,his tux, and they didn't even tell him or anyone else that everyone had to pay for own dinner. Luckily I had put money in his account. I was shocked when I heard this.
2006-10-11 05:54:10 · update #1
It is bad etiquette to ask your guest of the wedding party to pay for their own dinner at the rehearsal. The wedding party is already paying for their gowns/tuxs, shoes, etc, why should they have to pay for the dinner too. That is poor etiquette and I'm sorry your son has such cheap friends. I would never dream of having people who are standing up for me at my wedding pay for the dinner that is supposed to be thanking them for their time.
2006-10-11 06:30:03 · answer #1 · answered by cookie 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
THis must be a purely American thing... wedding rehearsal dinners?
In Australia, we don't have wedding rehearsal dinners.... we just have the wedding and then the reception.
However, from what I can tell after being brought up on American tv and literature, it is definately the bride/groom's responsibility to pay for the rehearsal dinner... *not* the wedding party. As for not giving them a heads up about it... unforgivable and simply plain rude.
I'm sure that if the bride/groom had decided that they would like the wedding party to pay for their own rehearsal dinner and had actually given everyone plenty of notice, as well as an understandable reason, then everyone would probably be happy with the situation.
Ok, on a side note... *why* is there a need for a rehearsal dinner? Just curious as, from my point of view as an Aussie, I didn't think you needed to rehearse a dinner?
2006-10-11 13:17:02 · answer #2 · answered by TJGOLDSTEIN 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is definitely in bad taste. The wedding party already has to pay for their own clothes and transportation and in most cases they buy a wedding gift too. Sounds like if the happy couple is this cheap then an open bar reception is not gonna happen either. The least the wedding party could get is a free meal after spending time at the rehersal.
2006-10-11 12:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by chicagosports_guy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is very poor etiquette to ask the wedding party to pay for their own meals without letting them know ahead of time.
It has been traditional for the groom's family to pay for the dinner.
I am sorry your son had this experience. Did the couple give any reason why they expected this?
2006-10-11 15:55:40 · answer #4 · answered by Malika 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is really tacky. The rehearsl dinner is supposed to be the couples way of thanking the wedding party and anyone who helped out with the planning. This is supposed to show gratitude and let everyone know that their support is appreciated! You should not be expected to pay for your meal at a rehearsal dinner. And not to mention it before the dinner is even worse. At least if people knew they'd have to pay, they could decide whether or not they wanted to attend.
2006-10-11 12:20:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
People get tackier by the moment. Traditionally the grooms family provides for the rehersal dinner, whether paying for it at a restaurant or cooking it themselves at their home. If you can't afford to do that, you need to trim down your wedding party - it doesn't have to be something fancy, but it NEVER should be out of the wedding party's pockets. Tsk tsk, for shame! Very, very tacky.
2006-10-11 14:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by Holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True etiquette says that the parents of the groom are to arrange for and pay for the rehearsal dinner. If they are not available-the couple should.
2006-10-11 13:17:00 · answer #7 · answered by Shossi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's bad ettiquette! I can't believe that is even an option. Most times the parents of the groom cover the rehersal dinner (that is the fact in my case). If not, the bride & groom should choose somewhere they can afford!
2006-10-11 13:57:04 · answer #8 · answered by miz e. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES! Are they going to charge their guests admissions to the reception too? That is SO incredible tacky. The wedding party should have been advised of the entire monetary commitment when asked to be part of the wedding. I understand that things are becoming more nontraditional all the time but I still have never heard of this one. Preposterous!
2006-10-11 12:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by RelayLover 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. People are getting tackier by the minute. Not only would it be wrong it would be offensive. If i am doing a favor to someone by being in their wedding and providing a shower gift, wedding gift and buying my bridesmaid dress, don't you dare ask me to pay for my meal at the rehersal dinner. What's next asking the guests to pay for the reception?
2006-10-11 12:18:53 · answer #10 · answered by Skanky McSkankypants 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋