(He was severely brain damaged....and cannot talk)..It was best for her and him to do that..NOW WHY DO SOME PEOPLE CRITICIZE HER WHEN THEY WEREN'T IN HER SHOES???? i actually saw him and it was not good for her to remain in that situation...she had kids also..she was in her late 20's.....worst case scenerio...and should she just tell others...'IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT AS WE HAD PLANNED".....because people are nosy and are going to ask what happened in your marriage...and then when or if she gets to know someone better...she could tell him the story...BUT MOST PEOPLE SHE SHOULD NOT TELL...BECAUSE IT WOULD GET DEPRESSING TO HAVE TO RE-live it all the time......Plus, she did what was best for her and HIM...at the time...do you agree???
2006-10-11 05:02:08 · 26 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Other - Education
Caring for someone in that condition can consume 100% of your time and resources. I don't fault her for putting him in hospice care. She has to live in this world, he does not. He's become a burden on her, so she has to do whatever she can to survive and continue on, especially considering she has kids to care for.
Who do you choose? The children or the sick husband? Of course the children. Every time.
2006-10-11 05:05:05 · answer #1 · answered by it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do agree! I'm very sorry that she is going through that! I'm sure she feels as though she lost him permanently. But she's still young, time does heal wounds. She has the children to think about and I think if she remains strong for them, she's going to be alright! Tell her that I wrote - Stay around positive people only, make sure that if she feels that she need some type of therapy, get it! It's not good to be on meds but if you feel you need to take them even if it's for a short period of time, do it! Because a situation such as this can make you snap! But I'm hoping that she's stronger then most people! I wish her all the luck in the world!
2006-10-11 05:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of things in life have no right or wrong answer, and her situation was one of those times. She did what she felt she needed to do, for everyone involved, and she shouldn't let others cause her to second guess herself. As to telling others, that is her call, what she's comfortable with and who she is talking to. It's not something that she should be uncomfortable with, she did the best she could, and that is all that can be expected. It's her life, she's the one who's got to live it.
2006-10-11 05:12:51 · answer #3 · answered by Renee B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has children and is as young as you said she is, then yes I think that what the best decision. When someone is in that condition, It is very hard and time consuming to care for them. If people are criticizing her for that, it's because they don't know the severity of the situation. At this point I wouldn't be concerned with them and their feelings. I think that her and her children need you now. Be there for them as much as possible.
2006-10-11 05:07:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree. Tell her to not let people make her feel bad for her decision. She made it with sincerity and with good reason. Someone in her husband's condition requires professional help around the clock.... nurses, doctors, nutritionists, etc. Some people say the meanest things in a time of crisis. Your friend is in enough pain without others telling her she is wrong. Friends support each other - not tear them down.
2006-10-11 05:09:10 · answer #5 · answered by farahwonderland2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she did what what was best for her at the time. If she could not provide the care that he needed, as well as taking care of the kids the way they needed, it was the right decision. I am sure there is always guilt involved in making those decisions though-she should not feel guilty for wanting him to get the right care.
2006-10-11 05:14:47 · answer #6 · answered by bjtrots 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People will always criticize - everyone has a right to make their own decisions for what is best for them. She needs to be able to devote time to her children. If people ask about her husband all she needs to say is he had a serious accident. She has no obligation to tell anyone anything else. If they ask further she should just say "I'm sorry it upsets me to talk about it".
2006-10-11 05:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by Sue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, I agree. She has to do what is best for her and her kids - and him.
Those people who like to yap and yap should try walking in her shoes for a day. Where were they when she was home taking care of him? Not asking if they could watch him for a couple of hours so that she could take her kids to the park.
You have to live your life for you - not for the approval of the masses.
2006-10-11 05:07:07 · answer #8 · answered by workingclasshero 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she did what she had to do, I hope she can get on with her life and not be held back by this. I am sure she is trying to do the best for her children and having a father figure is important, I hope that is what you will be to the kids.
2006-10-11 05:06:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to look deep in her heart and understand that if she could not provide the help he needed and still be a parent to the children then she did what she had to for the sake of the children... i don't think she needs to justify what she did but if she felt she had to then it should be i could not provide the level of care he needs right now and the children would be the ones to suffer and he would have agreed it is best for the children to have him in a home where he can be cared for round the clock..
2006-10-11 05:13:37 · answer #10 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋