I went to hospital 3 times 3 years ago. I accused her of having an afair and last year I caught her emailing this black guy named John. I admit our sex life was not the best. I forgave her then I caught him saying to her to meet hm at his place... I forgave her again but I took away her e-bay account and check book. Then I followed her and she was coming out of some apartments. She said she was on the way to the store. Then she said she should move out to her Moms. I agreed. Now I want her to come back with my son and she won't. I know I should hang it up but I will try anything to get my son back in my life. She lives 1200 miles away and it is too far to go.
2006-10-11 04:58:43 · 14 answers · asked by bush_is_an_idot 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It doesn't sound like your forgiveness is the issue here. She does not want to live with you. Get used to it. Maybe if you take your therapy seriously and learn how to control yourself, she will reconsider.
In any case, you should have a right to visits from your son. Talk to your attorney about that.
2006-10-11 05:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really hard one to answer objectively because
A) You don't know that your wife was having an affair, although you did accuse her of one
B) I know bi polar is an insidious thing to live with for both parties - and whilst there is no easy solution, trust me, it is very hard on the partner. (Although this is no excuse for infidelity IF this has been the case). Have you been taking your medication?
C) The fact that you felt you had to mention John's race makes me think that you have other issues
D) If you want your family back together, don't just fold up and let it slide, do what it takes to get them back and if it so happens that your wife doesn't want to continue the relationship, then of course you are in your rights to gain access to your son. I'm sure this is something your son and wife would want to.
All the best to you all
2006-10-11 18:52:35 · answer #2 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost - maintain communication - phone, letters, email, etc.
Realize that *everything* in a relationship is a two-way-street. It's not only about forgiving her, it's also about understanding that the situation is most likely your fault as well.
Try to set up marriage councelling. There may be a way to do it online or via phone if necessary (using a 3-way chat program, or conference calls).
Try to save up the money & time to meet in person if all parties agree.
Remember - *nothing* should be "too far away" if you still love her or your son.
During all this, get help (if you're not already) for your bipolar condition. If you can't help yourself, it makes it a million times more difficult to help your relationships.
2006-10-11 12:15:30 · answer #3 · answered by Moxie1313 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is too late to think about that. Have you asked her about John? he may have just been a support person / resource to help her cope with your illness / erratic behavior. Personally, i would never forgive you if i were your wife. you "punished" her like a child by taking away her checkbook???
On the custody issue, i would be very careful pushing the issue for full of your son. being hospitalized three times in one year indicates some severe symptoms of your illness. your mental stability and ability to handle the stress of being a single parent will definately come into question...this info. is admissable in court when determining the welfare of a child.
2006-10-11 14:05:25 · answer #4 · answered by nobyus8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is probably not a bipolar issue. BUT if your wife has asked you to get help for it and you haven't, then it wouldn't hurt the situation for you to get the help. Having said that, I know you are in pain right now, but you have to be strong and just obtain a divorce lawyer to get you at least partial custody. Maybe you can get full custody. I'd say, shelve the romance for now and get down tom brass legal tacks. Good luck my friend.
2006-10-11 13:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, what does his race have to do with the situation?
And it's over between you and her, obviously it does not matter if you forgive her or not because as you have stated she won't come back. It is time for a custody battle.
2006-10-11 12:01:43 · answer #6 · answered by apeystar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce her and take your son. You can get full costudy that's not a problem. Stand up for what you want. She cheated on you, your not the bad guy here and you shouldn't have to drive that long to see your son. Take her down!
2006-10-11 12:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by Amber S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes two to have a relationship and she hung up the doors on this one a long time ago.. best thing to do is to move on with your life (as far as she is concerned) as for your son... you can try to win custody.. it's rare, but more common than it used to be for men to win those battles.... or you could move closer and go for joint custody.. other than that i don't know what to tell you.
2006-10-11 12:02:34 · answer #8 · answered by pip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you maintain a decent relationship with your ex and move closer to her. Your ex does not want you in her life, but your son does. If you have joint custody, your ex at least has to meet you halfway for you to see your child.
2006-10-11 12:01:49 · answer #9 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's over for both of you. Marriage is all about trust and respect, and standing by each other no matter what. Sounds like you can't trust her and she hasn't really stood by her.
2006-10-11 12:01:15 · answer #10 · answered by Stephen J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋