What is depression? When I meet very very high officials ,some times it becomes difficult to make good eye co

Question

When I meet top management, I sometimes find difficulty in making good eye contact and feel nervous how to act in meeting

Answer 1

Depression has a negative impact on our personalities hence our personal and social life. By affecting our communication skills and confidence, we express our discomfort differently depending on several factors, like how long did we have it, r we taking our medications or not, is it depression that everyone one suffers from (like grieving) and many more.
In general depression makes us want to stay away from people, to pass by unnoticed and not feeling like having any sort of conversation, coz they r all boring and pointless.
From ur question I got the feeling that u r not taking medications nor u have been diagnosed by a scariest that u r having depression, so u may be a depressed person for some reason or the other, which u need to judge the reason of ur depression and to fight it .
If it is the case then I would like u to do the following:
Have a new look, by getting new cloth, getting a good hair cut, loosing weight (or even gaining some weight), etc. Actually, when we get dressed horribly and look so depressed, people either give us sad looks or even avoid looking at us. And both worsen our depression.

Try to have a an everyday job of forcing urself to smile, it will feel wired (especially if u have been having a sad face for a period of time)but when u see people’s reactions, trust me u will like it.

On ur day off go to a comedy movie in the cinema, I want u to laugh and if u can try laughing out loud. Because the loud laugh removes stress, tension and even memories off ur chest (it has the same effect of the deep breathing practice, which makes u feel relieved) and take someone with u, which u feel comfortable being around with.

After practicing the above for a while, u can do the following which will make u feel confident just b4 meeting any high official:
Take a minute to breathe DEEPLY!
Try to know what the meeting is for, to have ur thoughts organized b4 entering, in case if u were not informed or prepared earlier. Always take a note book and any relevant documents u may think it would help u out in the meeting. For me a tissue paper is very important coz I get sweaty hands.


Try this trick, if ur boss is giving u some information, take a pen and note them down as he speaks. Keep having a quick glance at ur boss, ur boss will be impressed that his “blah,blah,blah” is being noted down and taken seriously. On the other hand, u will avoid long eye contact, if u r not ready for yet. Moreover, u will be happy having all the notes after the meeting is over, without forgetting anything and avoiding the rush of thoughts that everyone suffers from in such situations.
Try this one too, look them straight into their eyes (but don’t stare), I know it is not easy, but surprisingly it makes some superiors’ confidence shake for few seconds (enjoy it!), provided that u r going to say some information that u r sure of or even asking for any of ur rights, disregarding the fact if u r not one of the superior’s “favorite” employees (though u might be doing better than the “favorite list” at work).
Always keep at the back of ur head that superiors are miserable people that suffer from ego problems, that we need not to aggravate, this thought will always make u smile whenever any of them give u crap.

Be the one who sets the mode of the meeting, by saying loud “Good Morning” with a big fake smile! In case u have a good thing to say regarding work (even if it is silly), then it will be a loud “Good Morning! I have got GOOOD NEWS!!” with a huge fake smile! In case if it is a bad news, sound real disappointed, keep shaking ur head in disappointment and agree with what the boss says and don’t forget ur note book.
In case if it was something u did wrong, well it depends on ur superiors, but the unfair rude ones are more harsh on decent polite employees, so if it is the case keep a good eye contact and keep a constant mixture of the following: being sorry, unhappy, irritated and firmness. All of us do mistakes which we don’t intentionally mean at work, so stick to this and don’t forget ur notebook, it will be a good thing to squeeze to release the tension.

U can try this but be careful, keep one hand under the desk, if ur boss gives u crap, give him a finger, going away with that gives u a rush!(lol, we do it all the time, even when we open their office doors!). But make sure that there are no mirror reflections that can get u busted.

Last practice, ur conversation skills improves by practicing expressing ur thoughts and feelings more often. Control ur temper with whoever u r talking with, be honest but not rude (except if the situation requires u to be rude and loud, frankly some people just ask for it!). Try different ways, attitudes, vocabulary, face expressions etc approaching others; this will tip u a lot about their personality.

Last, if u r having anyone u need to confess to regarding anything or talking to an old friend even to say sorry to, that will be a perfect practice. Coz u r taking a weight off ur chest, u will feel better for being honest and brave enough to do that. Nevertheless, getting to know what kind of people u are dealing with. If the people around care about u, then they must respect ur honesty, coz u respected their dignity and u didn’t fool them.

I hope things gets better, plz let us know ;)

Answer 2

What you describe is lack of confidence (self-exteem), not depression.

Most of us are intimidated when we meet with "very high officials", and quite frankly that's because the officials want us to be intimidated. What you experience is very normal, and very understandable, and quite frankly, healthy.

It would be unhealthy if it gets to the point where you aren't able to act in a helpful or appropriate manner while you meet with them. While there is no clear boundries, you can assume that if you don't get physically ill, or act out in a way that kills your job or future, then you're doing okay.

I'd suggest paying $5 for a paperback copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People." It's a standard, and it stays in print for a very good reason!

Answer 3

That has nothing to do with depression and everything to do with confidence. If you have low self-esteem then you will feel like you are not as good as the people you are meeting with. Just put in your head that they are the same as you they just make more money. Remember everyone puts there pants on one leg at a time. You can practice looking them in the eye with a mirror as well. Just use any mirror in the house and practice eye contact it will help. good luck.

Answer 4

Do a good job and gain confidence as a valuable worker in the firm.

In the Beginning God created heavens and earth.
God gives you air to breathe and sunshine to enjoy.
God gives you water to drink and food to eat.
God gives you a wonderful body and sound mind, to live.
God loves you, and you are precious to Him.
Son of God died on the Cross to save us from condemnation.
Jesus’ love is boundless and everlasting.
We have the hope of Heaven through Jesus.
Life therefore has fantastic and glorious future!
(Digestion of above can even prevent depression and suicide attempt.)

Answer 5

That's so not depression. I agree with the dude above; that is lack of confidence. Force yourself to make eye contact, shake hands, light chit chat. Fake it until you make it is my motto on confidence.

Answer 6

you just need a confidence boost. that's not depression unless it bothers you that you do that . just remember God made all of us equal so don't lower you head to anyone hold it up proudly and look them in the eye they'll respect you more but more importantly you'll respect yourself more Good Luck

Answer 7

i don't have the answer for that but i experience the same thing.someone will be telling me something and i'm nervous i don't know wether to stare them in the eye or if it's ok to look away i feel like i'm not normal but i'm glad i'm not the only one.

Answer 8

That's not depression. That's being intimidated. Build up your confidence, sleep with one of their wives. You'll get over that quickly.

Answer 9

Sounds like you might have social anxiety disorder.

Depression is far worse and you would definitely know. It's debilitating.

Answer 10

thats shyness dude, or a lack of confidence.

if you cry into your pillow about it later, thats depression!