From my past, most of my boyfriends planned everything in forward for me.
Right now, I'm with a great guy but his actions are a bit slow in planning.
He asks me what I want to do, or where I want to go, most times we are together. I have to make the initiative to say that I want to go for a drink, for a trip, to relax at his place, to go for a film...
I appreciate that he respects my opinion and choice, but I rather want him to take the leadership when he knows that I'm comming.
Not that I don't want to do anything, but if I do most of the planning, I feel like I'm spoiling him...he scared that he doesn't have to make an effort to be with me...
Or am I thinking too conservatively?
2006-10-11 04:35:31 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you need to appreciate it that he is being considerate. This is hardly something to complain about.
2006-10-11 04:38:09 · answer #1 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bloke dated a few really boring and submissive women before me. Whenever he suggested doing something they always said 'yeah, ok' whether they wanted to or not and he never really knew if they were having a good time or not.
So when we first started dating he used to insist that I planned things. It bothered me a bit at first but he explained why and we agreed that I would plan two things for every one that he planned.
It was good because he got to know what I liked doing and he knew that I was having a good time. Over time he has planned more and it's about 50/50 now.
I don't think it's a bad thing, just that he's trying (a bit too) hard to make sure you're happy. Have a chat with him and suggest that he plans one weekend and you'll do the next.
2006-10-11 04:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by Fifi L'amour 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is also like this - it used to frustrate me because all i wanted was for him to make a decision just once!! But the thing i realised was, was that he is very laid back, and i learnt to love the fact i could do what i wanted to do. So look at it this way - he could be commanding you to do all the things he wants to do, with no thoughts to what his girlfriend might want. You get to have fun and do what you wanna do! If this is really bothering you, just ask your boyfriend to plan a day (or date!) for you both so you can see what his perfect day/date would be. And maybe you could take it in turns to plan your time together - thats what me and my boyfriend have started to do! Hope that helps!
2006-10-11 04:51:29 · answer #3 · answered by Naomi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you're not doing the planning all the time I think its fine. It could be that he just doesn't know what to do cause he doesn't usually go out much or he's one of those guys that just follows what his friends do.
2006-10-11 04:46:42 · answer #4 · answered by fangstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup relax
you worry too much
2006-10-12 21:10:06 · answer #5 · answered by q6656303 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋