What do you do when you know the person your with wants to get married, but you have no desire to? For me there is no particular reason. I'm neither for, or against. Typically it's said that women often think of their wedding day at a young age and start planning in their heads long before the event. I've never done that, not even now that I am more then old enough.
2006-10-11 04:21:22 · 13 answers · asked by KMAB 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Do you have no desire to, or are you indifferent; because each is a different attitude and emotion.
If you "have no diesire to" then you shouldn't, and you should also be honest about your feelings with your partner. Just as you might not have the desire to marry, he might not have the desire to stay with someone who doesn't want to take the next step.
If you're "indifferent" you might want to take emotional inventory of your life and relationship and try and figure if and when you'll ever want to marry.
In either case, you need to have an honest look at yourself and how you feel about your partner. Is it him? Or is it something deeper; as in fear of commitment...and why the fear of commitment? It could be, that you've got your soul-mate right there, however, you don't realize it or can't accept it, which could be a sign of something in your past and makeup that you need to deal with.
For me the test is; is the person I want to marry my best friend first and foremost, and when and if the infatuation of sex and passion wears off, can I still love and want to be with this person? If I can answer yes to these issues, then it's very likely my marriage will last...and for me it has.
Good luck...
2006-10-11 04:44:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then don't get married. Also, don't be afraid to let this be known. If you're with a person that wants to get married, tell them you don't and never plan on. That may end the relationship, but it wouldn't be fair to either of you if you got married just to make the person with happy... because in the end, that won't make anyone happy.
As far as what other people think, it really isn't their business. Live your life the way that will bring you the most happiness without causing harm to others.
2006-10-11 11:31:50 · answer #2 · answered by E V 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're not feeling it, then you just don't do it. I think you'll know when you finally meet someone you want to marry. I wasn't one to have my wedding all planned out a young age either, and now for the last few months (I'm now in my early 30s), that's pretty much consuming my thoughts for really the first time ever.
2006-10-11 11:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even taking out the religious aspect of marriage, completely, i think that "why do i need a piece of paper to tell me..." argument is b.s. IF you, in fact, plan on spending the rest of your life with someone, why can't you make that commitment legally? because marriage does bind you together in some way, legally at least, and it would be harder to split up if you were married. doing it says that you're serious when you say you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. that you're so sure that you're willing to go through all the crap of a divorce (and might think twice about it if it ever came to that) to get out. and, yeah, women plan that kind of thing because it's one day in our lives that we get to be queen, hands down.
2006-10-11 11:32:56 · answer #4 · answered by practicalwizard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the person you're with wants to get married, and you don't, then the two of you need to part ways.
It would be unfair of you to ask this person to give up something that means a lot to them (marriage). And it would be unfair of them to do the same to you.
There is no middle ground on this issue, and no room to compromise.
2006-10-11 12:36:01 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agreed with ellie04.
in my opinion, maybe you should try to talk to your boy friend to discuss the marriage next time and tell him you are not ready yet.
i think if you want to marry you should feel happy and want to do it.
or maybe you can ask him the reason why he want to marry now. maybe he got same difficulties like his parents is forcing him or so on.
but is it hard to say whatever i said is quite logically because love depends on feeling. i cannot really understand your feeling example how much you love him, and so on.
you are still the one who decide it at the end.
2006-10-11 11:33:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to marry then you shouldn't. You may be very unhappy with your decision in the future.
But, you need to be upfront about this with your partner. This is one of those dealbreaker issues. If your partner really wants marriage and you don't, don't lead them in to thinking that you do.
Nothing wrong with not wanting to be married. It's not right for everyone. Just be honest.
2006-10-11 11:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the person you are with never wants to get married and it's something that you want to do. You should move on. You are never going to be able to change them to see what you want.
2006-10-11 11:23:51 · answer #8 · answered by Aubrey's mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he wants to get married? if he answers with a genuine answer then you could at least think about the idea doesn't mean to say that you are going to accept his marriage proposal. If he can't think of a reason why you should get married ask him what difference is it going to make to your relationship by getting married
2006-10-11 11:31:09 · answer #9 · answered by Alik411 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he asks you to marry him be honest, it will save the both of you some heartache and pain in the future
2006-10-11 11:30:14 · answer #10 · answered by S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋