Am I the only one? Please Help!!?

Question

I don't know if it's just me or if other people feel like they made a mistake in having thier children sometimes. I have a two year old daughter and when I'm away from her all I can talk about is how much I love with all my heart. I am always very proud of her when I speak of her to others. I say that she is my heart and soul and I don't know what I would do without her. I think like this all day long until I get off work and spend time with her. Usually after the first hour or so I'm aggrivated with her anf I start wondering where I went wrong. For example, yesterday we were laying on the couch together and she was being so sweet and lovable. Then all of a sudden she became a monster. She started trying to bite me, hitting me and just being plain mean. I've never been like this with her and I don't know where she learned it. Then at dinner time she decided she wasn't going to eat but throw her food instead. This seems to be an everyday occurance and I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

You're definitely not alone - most every parent if they are honest does go through this. The thing is....I thought it was the terrible two's that were bad - now she's three and more challenging!!!

All of my friends say - what are you thinking? You have no idea what raising teenagers is like - one day you'll be wishing they could be two again!

You may see some parents who act like everything is so perfect and wonderful and their kids seem so well behaved, but trust me - that's not the truth of a 24 hr timespan you're seeing.

My 3 year old is screaming her head off right now - a big temper tantrum - all because she refuses to ask for things politely and treats me like I'm her slave - I exist to do her will. This is not true and I have to train her that she needs to ask for things kindly but then she just goes ballistic if she doesn't get what she wants right away.

This is hard work! All of us moms know how you feel unless we're insane or not being honest with ourselves!!! One thing that really helped me was Dr. Phelan's 1,2,3 Magic - that helped a ton. He says they are wild animals and we have to be the wild animal trainers!

Answer 2

I hate to say it, but welcome to motherhood, and the terrible twos. My children all went through the same thing, and they have their moments of sweetness and the next moment, they have transformed into little demons. LOL
All of my children are over the two stage, but my 7 year old is still spreading his wings to test his bounds with me. And my 6 year old is just starting. My 4 year old is just nuts, she demands everything of everyone sometimes and others she is just a little princess.
I have found that when a time out doesn't work, maybe a tap on her hand to show her you mean buisness. You can also ignore her bad behavior until she relents. Another idea is to set aside a "bad" chair for her to sit in, just remember it is a minute for each year. So right now her time outs should be 2 mins. long. However, if she screams or yells or acts out, leave her there until she is quiet. And don't forget to tell her why she is in trouble, because she won't remember after her punishment.
My daughter and oldest son hate it when I put them in their room, but it seems to do the trick. I also take certian things away from them, like their video game, or a movie they love, etc.
This also seems to work.
Being a parent is hard enough, and you probably will have to experiment to see what works best with her. For each child it is different.
If you get too overwhelmed, feel free to write and I'll help as much as i can.
Good luck, Velvet

Answer 3

By now you know it is the terrible twos, but there are things you can do to correct her behavior. When she bites you, bite her back, not hard, but hard enough to let her know that is not acceptable. When she hits you, ether give her a time out or pop her bottom (which ever you believe in). When she throws her food, make her clean it up and then that is all she gets for dinner that night (explain to her first that when you sit down at the dinner table there is no food throwing and what will happen if she does.

If you are consistent with these things, she will learn very quickly that you will not accept this type of behavior and she will move on (unfortunately ) to another behavior that annoys you.

Good luck and remember, stay strong and firm. Oh and reward good behavior with praise and maybe watching a movie of her choice.

Answer 4

These are the terrible two's. So...it's like this....you either don't hit her...or you do. I'm not talking with the buckle end of a belt but know what? Sometimes a swat to the backside is used to drive a point home. If it works make use of it sparingly.
Going to bed hungry has a great effect also. Using corporal punishment on your kids isn't illegal. Beating them, starving them and chaining them to the furnace is.
If this is distasteful to you then good luck with other methods. My sister rarely hit her kids but when she did it was with just cause and when all other methods failed. Remember...a two year old has SOME understanding of things but has very limited powers of reasoning. You're the adult. Let her know that by no uncertain terms.

Good luck.

Answer 5

As much as you probably wont like it, and though you might think she is too young she needs real spankings. No time outs and yet no hitting- but firm spanking on the bare butt or the back of the hand. She needs for you not only to be a provider and a nurturer but she needs to know that you are the boss and she does not run the show. When she does things like that- correct her right away. Dont yell, just have a firm voice and say no and give her the apprpriate explination for whetever she is doing wrong at the time and SPANK her.
She may cry, but me tough- thats why its called tough love hun.
I feel bad when i deal with my kids but i know im doing the right thing when i see those kids in the grocery store yelling and screaming and talking back. My kids wont dare because they know better. They know that i love them, but they know that dicipline will coome thier way.

Answer 6

I feel sorry for this situation. But this is not irrepairable. My own was quite violent. I think the main culprits are those who are taking care of your child when you are at work. It is possible that your child misses you but does not know how to express it. It is also possible that someone is spoiling her in your absence. If you can, just drop in at the place where you leave her during the day and watch from a distance without being observed as to how she is being cared for. Babies this age should be properly handled and carefully brought up so that they do not learn to throw tantrums. Change her baby sitter or wherever you leave her first thing. Then start getting conditional with her so she learns to behave.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Parenting can be frustrating at times.Try to walk away from the situation if you feel you are losing control because if your daughter sees your frustration she will feed on this. When my daughter was little and she tried to pinch my neck I firmly told her to stop.She did but momments later tried to pinch me again.I brought up my hand as if to pinch her and she said no, it would hurt..She was quite aware pinching hurts.It only took one more attempt at pinching and my response for her to learn it wasn't a game and pinching wasn't allowed.When her behaviour is not acceptable give her time outs or put her in her room for a few minutesTell her she can come out when she settles down.It may take some time but it will be ok.What you are feeling is normal.Try to get a few minutes each day for yourself,even if it is a relaxing book and bath.Ask your husband to help too and be a daddy.No one can be "superparent" and it is not a sign of inability when you need help.Recognize it and accept the help.Most grandparents will enjoy a little sharing time and may have some helpful tips.

Answer 8

She's two years old!!! She's just doing what two-year-olds do!!You need to read some books on parenting (not because you're not a good parent, you are!) to give you some strategies to deal with her. Two-year-olds can't process things the way we do, you can't expect her to understand your reasoning. Don't hit or spank her, just give her time outs when she's misbehaving. 5 minutes ought to do it. Then see how she behaves. She'll soon get the message that the inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated or rewarded. Good behavior will. (give her lots of hugs and praise) This is why they call it the "Terrible twos"!! Just be patient!! Read some books, you'll figure it out! Good luck!

Answer 9

Children take training . You have to be strong with her and let her know that this kind of behavior is unacceptable . Get a small chair for her and tell her that is the bad chair or something similar to that and let her know that only bad girls go there.
Also if she starts to throw her food take the plate away and take her to the chair and make her sit and you go back to the table and eat. When she asks if she can get out then you ask her if she is ready to act nice and if she says yes and continues the behavior then you put her back in the chair and continue this routine . this worked for my son . Maybe it will work for you.

Answer 10

lol. Your are a young mother. Yes this happens to alot of people. She may just be playing with you. She may see this as playing because others do it at school or she sees it on tv. SHe throws her food maby because see dosnt like it or she wants to play. Its not your fault she just wants to have fun or act out. Its not big deal. Just tell her thats not a game and that it takes work to clean it up and it hurts your feelings when she hits and bites you. GOod luck