i developed a severe case of OCD (Obsessive compulsive disorder) at the age of 14...i am now 18, and it is only worsening...for those of u who recently read my posts you would know i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. when we started to date, i tried to hide my OCD (my disorder is caused my hygiene and cleanliness) i managed to not let it get to me, and not make it obvious. but now my partner has these vile of habits of (boys, you may relate lol) wiping his nose on his arms, picking his feet (ewww), sometimes, he will not even brush his teeth!!! but to look at him, he appears to be a very clean person! :-s he is aware that i have an OCD, and that i HATE his habits. i mean, it is bad enough for a 'normal' person, let alone somebody with an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. i love my boyfriend to bits, but it has gotten to the point now where i dont know how much more i can take of it. please help!
2006-10-11 04:14:32 · 11 answers · asked by Danielle L 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
Look you don't need to be OCD to be grossed out by this behavior. I am not OCD and if my husband did not brush his teeth, we would have a problem. Why should I kiss him with a stinky dirty mouth? I have cleanliness standards that are "normal" and to me this is unacceptable. And the snot on his sleeve? Please, why should you get near him when he is covered with boogers and aside from being gross, exposes you to getting sick. That is not very thoughtful of him. I do not even allow my 29 month old son to do that!!!
As for picking his feet, my husband does that now and then and I tell him flat out that is gross and that when he is done grossing me out he better go straight to the bathroom to wash his hands. There is something called manners, and something called hygene and something called consideration and respect. Your boyfriend is lacking them all. I am proud of you for getting help for your OCD, dont let it control your life or rob you from enoying life, relationships and opportunities. But if your bf is not wiling to change a little to make you feel comfortable, trust me, he is not worth keeping. When you get married, there are so many life changing issues you need to tackle together, and work out and compromise, that if he is not willing to do so with things that can be changed so easily, then do not expect support, compassion and compromise with the big stuff. I hope you get my point. You are 18, make sure you dont waste your time with guys that do not treat you like you are the most important thing in their lives, because that is how you deserve to be treated.
2006-10-11 05:09:56 · answer #1 · answered by TrueSoul 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to say I just don't think the guy is cut out for you. He might have some traits that you love. But with your OCD I don't think him being a slob is something that your going to be able to overlook.
It also appears that the guy doesn't care that much about you if he isn't taking your feeling into consideration. You might have OCD but it doesn't sound like it is that drastic of a case. It's not like your making him do something stupid like having to do some repetitive act or odd behavior. Wanting a dude who has some personal hygiene isn't much to ask.
2006-10-11 11:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by acidcrap 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Remember the fact that YOU have the problem not your boyfriend, what he does is normal and believe me there are a million worse things he could do so consider yourself lucky. The human body is a thing of great beauty so consider that rather than fretting over a small amount of snot. Finally if you've been with your fella for as long as you say then he will've had to put up with a multitude of weird and quite frankly daft problems thanks to you so giving him a some grace is the least you can do and remember if you split up you'll never find anyone so understanding, you selfish, backwards moaning half-wit.
2006-10-11 11:28:26 · answer #3 · answered by John H 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
lol..i'm a 25yr old fella but cant really relate to that, it sounds pretty gross u poor girl. U clearly love this guy cos u stick wiv him despite this. If this is a serious problem and jokin aside u need to sit him down and discuss this and say listen i love u for how u are but if u love me u have to understand my ocd and how the things u do gross me out, if he respects n loves/cares for u he'll change his ways, he's probably just havin a laugh with u and means no harm n maybe dont realise how this makes u feel....good luck
2006-10-11 11:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by KIPPAX 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
a relationship is about compromise, not about you putting up with everything and certainly not about him changing. people don't "change" that much.. they are pretty much set so you both have to learn to live with each other if you want to continue the relationship. that could mean him trying to not do these things in front of you and you giving him a little slack when he does from time to time.. who knows, be creative, but remember.. it's all about COMPROMISE.
2006-10-11 11:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by pip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not normal to wipe your nose on your sleeve! ew! children do that! tell him to pick his feet in the bathroom where you can't see him. My boyfriend is a bit like you and I can't even file my nails in the same room as him!
2006-10-11 11:24:41 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah (31/UK) 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You recognize that YOU have a disorder and you recognize that IT is causing a problem with your relationship. The problem is not with him... he's normal. You have to learn to change your reactions to his normal behavior. If you cannot, then you will poison your relationship with him.
2006-10-11 11:19:52 · answer #7 · answered by Eric C 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try councelling, it can really ease the symptoms. You will learn coping mechanisms and be supported by a professional.
Good luck.
2006-10-11 11:19:25 · answer #8 · answered by huggz 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell him to tidy his act up, you are not at fault being clean is very important for everyone. you have not got a disorder its the milions of others who are not as fastidius as you,who are abnormal.
2006-10-11 11:23:13 · answer #9 · answered by John C 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Take him to your therapist with you & maybe that would help if you both could explain it to him together.
2006-10-11 11:20:41 · answer #10 · answered by Shadow 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋