ok so my ex that i just broke up with was verbally abusing me all the time.... calling me a sorry *****, a peice of ****, etc. when im the one with the job and vechile and not him and he has pushed me twice and recently just slapped me and he is a real bad alcoholic. well i love him with all my heart and would do anything for him but he controlled me and always accused me and found out he was cheating on me. well i finally got tired of it and broke up with him and now i just don't know what to do...... i'm scared to get close to any other guy becuase of that..... i'm not sure if i like the whole being single thing. but i can't go back to him right???? i just need some help and advice cause im all confused.
2006-10-11 03:27:09 · 25 answers · asked by cowgirl_18 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm very proud of you for leaving him, that took guts. to many women stay with guys that abuse them...but there are some of us good guys out there that treat a woman with respect and kindness and truly do not believe in any kind of abuse towards a woman..........Below is something for you.........
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!
By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
2006-10-11 03:31:40 · answer #1 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is a long road... you definitely have to live and learn and the only way to do that is to live your life. OK, take your ex... and take it as a learning experience. He is definitely not a good catch and will make life a very long, difficult journey. Move on honey, you are better then that. Some day a special guy will come around and you need to realize, they aren't all going to be like your ex. Not to many people like being single, but someone will come along who will treat you with respect and love you. Just be patient. If you make the decision to go back to an abusive relationship, it's just going to get worse. Men like that can't change and if they do change, it will be temporary and you will soon find him back to his old self.
I really hope you get strong and stay away from him, no matter how much he begs you back, cause he will probably start begging soon, they always do. Good luck.
2006-10-11 03:38:10 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience sometimes when women are in a relationship where they are dominated by an abusive partner, and they subsequently leave the relationship, they feel a need to return.
I believe this is sometimes due to the fact that they have an innately submissive personality, and while they hate the abuse, they miss the domination.
If this seems to ring a bell with you, then have a look at some local BDSM organisations. There are men who will dominate you, but only on a consensual basis. And part of their domination will be looking after you and caring for you.
If you think, 'What the hell does this idiot think he's on about?' then your case is different from this. If you are scared to get close to any other man, then you should be doubly scared to go back to him.
Just try to meet people on a more casual basis, and get to know them. This might eventually blow away the cobwebs left by your previous relationship, and you will be confident enough to try again, hopefully with a better result.
2006-10-11 03:35:46 · answer #3 · answered by langdonrjones 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breakups are never easy! Like you said, you still have deep feelings for this guy. The problem is that he didn't have them for you. You have taken the first step by breaking it off and saving yourself from potential YEARS of heartbreak or worse!
Right now what you need more than anything is time. Time to sort out your feelings and get your head straight. Nothing says that you have to be single forever, but for the moment it might be the best thing for you.
As for getting close to another guy, well, relationships mean risk. You meet a guy, you get close, you invest your heart and then if it doesn't work out you end up with a gaping hole in your chest where your heart used to be. But if it does work out...
Anyway DO NOT go back to this guy! As for the rest, give it time and maybe talk to someone about it. No shame in seeing a counselor if they can help you through something like this. And then when you are ready you can try again. Good luck.
2006-10-11 03:33:41 · answer #4 · answered by danl747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse always happens and both partners do it, from time to time. That's the nature of intimate relationships. Most abuse (i.e. manipulation, hostility, blame, bullying) is so subtle that it's barely recognize able. Most abuse does not escalate to a severity that could be considered violent or emotionally dangerous. However, any long-term relationship has the potential to develop patterns of abuse which become so routine that neither partner recognizes it. Ask anyone who's divorced and you will be given specific examples.
2016-03-28 04:51:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im glad to hear you got smart and left him, if it started off with verbal abuse and now hes slapping you it can only lead to worse later. So you definatly dont need to be with him. But dont think that all guys are like that, there is a good guy out there for you that willl treat you right Good luck to ya
2006-10-11 03:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by krisbohanon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholic, abusive (both physical and verbally) and a cheater... Why would you even ask if you could go back to him? Sounds like a wonderful life to me... You are out of it, stay out of it, he sounds like a complete looser. Don't let this one jerk color your opinion of all guys and ruin you for future relationships. There is no doubt a guy out there that would treat you right, have a job, not hit, not abuse and love you for who you are. Don't settle for jerks just because you do not like the single thing, you deserve better and can do better than that...
2006-10-11 03:32:23 · answer #7 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you love someone that mistreats you? You need counseling to help you discover that there are wonderful men out there that you could love and who would love you and NOT hurt you!! Never go back to the abuser. EVER! They may whine + cry and say "sorry" "it won't happen again" and other such bull sh*t -- but believe me, they NEVER change!!
Please have more respect for yourself and someday you could be with a wonderful man in a mutual love + respect relationship.
2006-10-11 03:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He treated you like that because you allowed him to. I'm glad you finally dumped his sorry behind. Take some time just for yourself right now......don't worry about finding another man right now. Enjoy being single and not having to deal with anyone's abuse. You'll probably meet someone special when you least expect it!!
God Bless and good luck!
2006-10-11 03:36:07 · answer #9 · answered by mesierens 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to feel the way you do anytime anyone gets out of a relationship they feel scared to start all over.
But it is worth it
you will find someone else, what ever you do
do not return with your abusive ex.
It is not good for you or for any future kids.
Just try meeting new people single life is not that bad.
Good Luck
2006-10-11 03:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by Solitaire 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋