well yeah anyone and everyone would say leave him.. Right ...but i've been with him for like 3 years and now he wants to get married or @ least enaged right.. But he calls me bad mean names when we fight and he says he doesnt mean them, and he says he says them bc hes mad but that no excuse.. I do love him and its hard to leave him.i've tried but i couldnt.. I dont find other guys interesting bc im so head over heels with this guy... even though my guy friends say its wrong.. But i dont know what to do...
2006-10-11 02:52:14 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well i am 20 and my bf had done the same thing with me for the last 3 years and half and i haven't left him and everyone used to tell me to leave him and until now my sister balmes me for not leaving him.yes i love him and yes he does hurt my feelings by saying mean things like eat s*** or cow (when i am slim) and calling me a b***** from 60 dogs.
first thing:to feel better the MAIN way you have to pray and believe in your self and GOD and please dont start hurting yourself like me ( i used to hit and bruise myself with my own hands to make me feel better but now i stopped and i talk to god every day and belive me he does hear your prayers only when u belive in him).i noticed that i am more religious now cause of that which is good.remeber GOD will punish him...and reward you...and god will show him to stop hurting you and it usually works when u pray alot...
second: when he says mean things try to communicate with him and if he doesnt ...then talk to someone who is close to you if they dont help at all then write what he said to you and what u think he should have done like apologise and then gve it to him or bury it or store it in a box and when u have hundred letters of bad things he told you show it to him or read it to yourself and burn it and forgive and let go..
third: music heals your heart listen to music that reminds you of the reasons why u love him or listen to music that makes you forget him
fourth:watch cartoons or read a book or study...keep yourself busy with gardening or a favorite hobby
fifth:see him and meet him and talk face to face not on the phone like me all the time...cos when he doesnt see your reaction he will hurt you more and its better for you to show him that you are sad about what he said to you the more communication and being next to each other will stop him from verbal abuse...
sixth: if he calls u something bad like cow think of funny things about cows or why cows are good for us.example: moo moo is funny and i love cheese:) but for more serious words like b**** try to forget it or write down something worse about him.
seventh:in the end if he doesnt change at all...then break up and move on girl or..try to avoid him when he calls on the phone or you dont see him for a week ...it will show him that what he said really hurt you and he will improve each time and belive me it works!
note: you are a lucky girl cos my guy says he cant marry me cos his family wont accept me (cos i am from a different country and religion which is really more complicated than yours)...before u get married to him please think and try to comunicate with him about his problem and maybe he is calling you names cause he missses seeing you...
i hope i helped you...and GOD bless you and be happy in your desicion...its not up to us to choose...its up to you...
2006-10-11 03:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by myheartsuzan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here is a question I can really answer b/c my boyfriend is just like that the minute he gets pissed he'll say anything. In the beginning it would be fights to say who can say the worst things to the other not anymore. I started calling him on it every time he did it, at that very moment if he wouldn't stop I would leave the room or the house he has it down to a very minimum give a try and see what happens.
2006-10-11 02:57:41 · answer #2 · answered by martica595500 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm..see a person can be judged when he angry.A person who can't control his anger will never be able to control anything.Today hes just calling you names , tomorrow he might end up hitting you after you're married to him.His anger is a alarm for you to wake up.In love we forget and forgive everything.But honey don't loose it all for him.Just open your eyes and try giving him one more chance but if he continues to do so then you should take some measure against it.And whats the use of getting married and then God forbid leaving him.It better to cry a little right now and lead a happy married life with someone who does'nt call you names and has a good control over anger.
2006-10-11 03:16:25 · answer #3 · answered by mona ~ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are right the simple answer would be to leave him.
But you also make it very clear you love him, so talk to him about it when you are getting along. Tell him he hurts you so much when he calls you names, keep the lines of communication open.
Maybe you need counseling to understand each other, maybe something happened in his past that he blows up at you as a release of anger. You will never know unless you ask.
Do not jump into marriage with unhappiness as it is. Marriage is very tough to end especially when kids are involved.
Good luck.
2006-10-11 02:57:08 · answer #4 · answered by razzyrascal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think you need to worry too much especially if everything else is ok in your relationship, like someone else said it is normal to have pet names for one another and I think it's cute. Guys don't think into things as much as we do - trust me. My boyfriend of six years broke up with me on the weekend. I haven't been to work all week. I wake up in the morning and polish back some wine, just so I can numb the pain - it works for a while, then when I start to sober up I feel reality again and feel like I want to end it all. I have a holiday to Bali with him and a couple of mates as well this Friday and he said he didnt even want to share the hotel room with me. My life feels at its end. I have no idea how I'm going to live without him, no idea on how to move on, no idea how to go back to work and my studies, no idea how to be happy again. You have answered one of my questions before and you said you felt simular and that we should contact one another and be friends. Can we still do that? I tried contacting you but it wont let me.
2016-03-28 04:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have a serious talk with him and let him know that it is not necessary. If your head over heels with this guy and do not find other guys interesting, then work things out. Let him know how much it bothers you and how much its affecting the relationship. Tell him to get some help. If help doesn't work, and if he's too stubborn to go, then leave.
2006-10-11 02:57:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jenna S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So why ask us?
If you don't have enough self respect to leave the foul-mouthed jerk there is nothing we can offer you. Tough love? Maybe. But you have to decide how much is enough. And how about the first time he slaps you (he will). He'll say, "oh baby, I didn't mean it, you just made me so mad". And the next time when he slugs you with his fist he will say, "oh baby, I'm sorry, but you made me so mad". Do you see the pattern here? It's called ABUSE!
The guy can't even control his mouth and you expect him to love you and treat you with respect?
If you want to live your life like that go ahead. If you don't then you need to tell him why you are leaving and then just walk out. He needs to learn that women deserve respect. And he needs to behave like an adult (assuming he is one).
Please forgive my course tone but I have zero patience with men who do not respect women and even less for those who abuse them. Don't enable him, leave him standing alone.
2006-10-11 03:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by AK 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you guys are just joking around and he calls you names then that's fine, but if your in a fight and he starts doing that stuff it could lead to something worse than that...does he have a bad temper? Would he or has he ever hit you? I would just take those things into consideration...
2006-10-11 02:57:22 · answer #8 · answered by ram_this911 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stay with him then. Just be prepared to go through life being called nasty names. A leopard doesn't change their spots. You are confusing love with being needy.
2006-10-11 02:57:23 · answer #9 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This loser isn't mature enough to marry; if you did marry him, things would get no better.
Get out now, while he hasn't hit you yet.
2006-10-11 02:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋