I have 2 baby girls- One who is 2 1/2 and one that is 10 months. When I started this new job about 3 months ago, I started making more money and put them in daycare (well, it's a lady who has 2 kids- one that's home during the day, and then my 2 and that's all she has.) Until now, it's either been my mother or my aunt that has kept them for me. So, in a way, I could just be paranoid and overprotective... because this lady is not someone I know REALLY well. My two year old is by biggest concern... when I fix her dinner at night, she'll eat more than I will.. and the babysitter says that she won't eat anything for her. My mom went to her house to take my youngest diapers one day and the babysitter was asleep on the couch while her 12 year old brother watched the kids, and the babysitter says that my 2 year old will not play, go outside, or anything while she's there... which is NOT at all my daughter!! So, is she being mistreated while she's there, just shy, what?!
2006-10-11 02:44:07 · 32 answers · asked by KC 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Thanks so much you guys but those of you who are saying I need to quit-- I can't. Litereally. My income is all that supports my family. What do I do?!
2006-10-11 02:57:53 · update #1
I know how you feel- I had to put my son in a daycare when he was 8 weeks old. My income is what supports us, b/c I am a single mom- for those of you who told her to quit- you're just making it harder on her....It is very hard to send your child to a daycare, especially when you are worried that they are not taking care of your child like you feel your child deserves...
I had my son in a daycare that I had even worked at before- but he was eating a ton when he got home (but the difference was, he ate at the daycare as well) but when you said your mom saw the 12 year old watching the kids, that is a big no no- granted she might have been sick or something, but if that was the case, she should have called all the parents to come get their kids.
I think you should look around for another daycare. My son now goes to a church daycare, and it is really nice- (we don't go to the church, but the daycare was great) Most church daycares are well kept and the staff is friendly....
Good luck either way, but you are not being over protective, you are being a mom.....
2006-10-11 04:09:08 · answer #1 · answered by confused 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand your feelings that you have no options, but you have to make a choice. Your child *is* being mistreated - the person who is supposed to be watching her is *sleeping*!! Do you sleep while your child has complete run of the house? What if a door had been left unlocked and the 12-year old went to play a video game?
Also, while some children do develop different temperaments at other places, if a child does not adjust at all, there's a *reason!* One of the things any pedi will tell you is that if your child becomes withdrawn or develops a different temperament, you need to take it as a warning sign. Just out of curiosity, do you *really* know that 12-year old? How do you know he's not doing something to your daughter that she's not old enough to tell you about yet? That would be my *very* first concern.
Your child is in an unsafe situation. There has *got* to be another option. Why can't you pay your mother or aunt to watch the child? I would not put my child in that woman's care for one more day, even if it meant losing my job. The hackles on the back of my neck would be standing straight up if I had the info you have. Protect your child - that is a bad environment for her to be in. Unsafe at the *very* least.
2006-10-11 04:30:17 · answer #2 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kind of tough one. You daughter may not be comfortable with the babysitter or she could be mistreated like you're thinking. Hopefully, it's not that this person is mistreating your baby. The eating issue could be that she doesn't like what the woman is giving her. I would be suspicious of the not going outside though, what kid doesn't want to run, skip, jump and play? 2 and 1/2, they are able to communicate well enough so that you can get some type of idea what is going on. Definitely try to do a pop up visit or 2 or send your mom back over there on a pop up. If this woman is sleep, again, take your kids out of that house. That's dangerous, even if the replacement babysitter is 12. You're not paying him. Good luck and I hope all works out for you.
2006-10-11 02:51:08 · answer #3 · answered by BabyGirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have little ones, 2 girls and a boy. Boy and girl are twins, 19 mo. Sounds to me that your daughter doesn't feel comfortable there. If she was, she'd be acting normal. When kids aren't acting normal, it is a sign that something isn't right. I'd find a new babysitter. If you can, try to meet the new one with your daughter there, that way you can see how she acts around the woman and the environment.
Depending on what state you live in, find the site about Child Protective Services, there you might be able to search for a daycare or babysitter that is licensed. Can tell you if the person has violations or not.
writer's research
http://internethound.8m.com
2006-10-11 02:55:19 · answer #4 · answered by Adam H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mistreated not necessarily....but the babysitter is acting like those children are her own...and she is obviously a lazy mom. Your babies are being looked after by a 12 year old boy for goodness sake!
That is one of the main concerns about "family" daycare...who is there to monitor adult behaviour if there are no other adults around? She wont lose her job over it, thats for sure. Moms dont have to have training to relieve anxiety in kids, to teach them things WITHOUT TV being the mainstay, work evalutation, monitoring by other staff members, hygiene rules and how to hug without effecting other kids in their own household.
Get them out of there NOW and into a well organised professional daycare centre. Get your mom to look after them or do it yourself until they can be resettled.
I would suggest that no-one leave a child with a someone that doesnt love them as their own...unless its with a reputable childcare centre. And DO monitor them too...if your child isnt happy after a week or two and adjusted...there is something wrong.
I would also give her a mouthful about how bad a job she does and that she should cease immediately...also tell whoever allows her to take on other peoples children...so that they rethink sending anyone into her care. If she has a license..get it taken away so she cannot be a provider anymore and other kids arent subjected to her "caring". Now that YOU know how she is you have a moral duty to other mothers and their children.
2006-10-11 02:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by Scully 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
She could be being mistreated or she could possibly just be really shy or uncomfortable arond strangers. whatever the case it is important that you're 2 year old is comfortable. You should try to talk to her and ask her yes or no questions about what happends durring the day:
does baby sitter hurt you?
do you like the babysitter?
is the babysitter mean?
are you a good girl for the babysitter?
things like that so you can somewhat understand the situation better.
meanwhile it might be good to find another baby sitter. Maybe one that would pay better attention to your children. A good babysitter is someone that you're two year old will like and will enjoy playing with and will be good for (she'll each lunch and such) they're out there you just have to find them... Keep looking, and good luck to you!
p.s. I understand the fact about needing the money.. I'm in the same boat!
try this site to help you find a good sitter:
http://www.get-a-sitter.com/
also try an add in the paper saying you're looking for a sitter and interview each person before you pick some random chick...
make sure that you and both of your children are comfortable with who you pick and it's always a good idea to have you mom stop by somtimes to see how it's going.
also it's easier on the kids if the sitter comes to your house instead of sending the kids to theirs. kids are always more comfortable in their own home!
anyway, good luck to you again! hope this helps!
2006-10-11 02:59:42 · answer #6 · answered by JD 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are even questioning this woman you need to witch. You need to trust the people taking care of your children if you dont then they shouldnt be there. If she was sleeping on the vouch then she isnt caring for the children. What if something happens. You will feel responsible because you didnt stop your children from going. That is something you dont need. Look around and find somewhere you trust. Your daughter could be just being shy but she may also be scared. She is also still little and cant really tell you how she feels. Does she cry when you drop her off? Please for your own sanity and your childs well being look in to other possibilities for you and your children. Hope I have helped in some way. Take care hope everything works out for you.
2006-10-11 06:45:58 · answer #7 · answered by four2love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you find out about this person? I would find a new sitter or look into a reputable child care center (you can claim the childcare center fees on your income tax.). You just can never take a chance like that with kids. I know they are expensive, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Your mind will be at ease if you have your children watched by someone trustworthy. And, it's okay to be paranoid---you're a parent and we've all been there.
2006-10-11 02:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by CCL 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sleeping on the couch was your first clue! I know giving people the benefit of doubt, is what we normally should do but not when our kids health and well being is a concern. If your babysitter is stating that your daughter is not playing, eating ect.. then your daughter is not in the best environment for her! Children are usually a good judge of character, go with your instinct and get new child care!
2006-10-11 02:53:49 · answer #9 · answered by just wondering 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about mistreated but certainly neglected. I would look around for another daycare person. Ask for references (preferably the parents of kids she is currently watching) also a suggest visiting with the chidren a few times before leavning them there, also you may want to leave them there for a few hours to start to help get them adjusted to a new person. Another thing I do is either stop in myself at various times (without calling first) or have someone else stop by for one reason or another - just suprise visits from time to time. If they aren't expecting you and you find things in order that is a sign of a reliable sitter. Also find out if they are offering your child foods that she likes - if not make suggestions or pack food & snaks for them. You can never be too careful with people that you entrust your children to. Good luck!
2006-10-11 02:55:20 · answer #10 · answered by jenni_dew2 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋