This is not good for the relationship at all cos im constantly reminded of it. Though he has apologised and all, shown remorse. Now I get all the attention and love I once yearned for but it does nothing for me now.
I just dont feel anything anymore. One part of me wants it and the other part keeps withdrawing. What do I do? He wants us to get married
2006-10-11 02:38:43 · 21 answers · asked by BBrown 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you should be honest with him. Tell him it is great that he is giving you the love and attention that you wanted so badly and that you appreciate his appologies, but too much has happened between the two of you. You do not want to hold the past against him when he is trying so hard to make things better, but you just can't get over some bad feelings from the past. Then, break up with him and move on with your life.
Maybe he really has changed. If he is a good guy now, he deserves to be with someone who will love him the way a good man should be loved. Then again, maybe he is putting on an act trying to please you but the man who hurt you is still inside, eventually going to come out. You definately don't want to go back to what made y'all break up in the first place!
My advice to you: Do not get married. Be honest with him so that the two of you can move on with your lives. If he really loves you, he may wish that y'all could be together but he will want you to be happy. And it will be better for him to move on to another relationship where he can start fresh with no hard feelings. If he does not want you to be happy, then you will have just avoided putting yourself in a bad situation.
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I am curious though. What did he do that hurt you so badly in the first place? Some things don't deserve a second chance. If he was physically, verbally, or emotionally abusive, then it is probably a part of who he is. Even if he is trying to do good, he will probably turn back to old ways when he gets stressed out. And because he got you back once, he will probably think he can have you back again if he messes u again.
2006-10-11 02:58:39 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you need to take some time away from the relationshiop to figure out what you want. Take some time to get over the pain, cause it sounds like you haven't gotten over it.
It's hard to continue a relationship and start a new phase (marriage), when your wounds are still pretty fresh. Doing so right now will only lead to more issues.
Let you partner know what you're going through. Not in a whiney or attacking way...but from the heart. You're stuck right now, and your environment needs to change a bit before you can.
2006-10-11 10:07:59 · answer #2 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person get hurt in a relation, it will never go away and is because in a relation your trust is involved. Two persons during this relation are trying to becoming one, but when their is treason because of a unfaithfulness, everything stops and questions start to appear, like is it worth it with this person, could I trust him or her when I'm not looking, etc,. etc. And no matter how sorry the only person is, you don't trust them. Just like when you get burn by fire the first time, you are always careful for the rest of your life. And the question is, is this the way I want to live all of my life, it it worth it. You answer yourself and Good Luck!!
2006-10-11 10:00:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move cautiously and very carefully. Your feelings are numb, because your heart was over loaded with pain. You need time to heal and with "time" you will get the accurate amount of damage this has caused you, mentally and physically. It may be nothing more than a bruised heart needing to recover, or it could be your heart wants no more to do with this relationship. Time will provide this answer.
2006-10-11 09:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every part of you needs to WANT this.
Not just one half.
Of cos u shld not entertain the idea of marriage. U want to officially seal your state of unhappiness?
If u cant' forget the hurt he's caused, chances are u shldn't remain in this meaningless r/s.
I advice you to break it off and dun fall back just becos of loneliness, sentimentalism or whatever little he still offers you. Cos you obv want and need more since u ain't feeling complete & fulfilled
2006-10-11 10:19:09 · answer #5 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you cannot forgive him then your relationship is doomed.
If you are still hurt and in pain it is because you still have not forgiven and you are holding a grudge.
Realize he made a mistake and he now sees the error of his ways and has changed. He deserves a fair chance...remember, he loves you.
And if you still can't get over it you might as well end the relationship.
2006-10-11 09:51:53 · answer #6 · answered by Submit to her Feet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then it is time to say ok it is over and move on it is kinda like the song by poison every rose has it thorn the wound heals but the scar will always remain and if you are not feeling anything then why are you in this relationship........ have some respect for yourself and get a life that is happy for you
2006-10-11 09:46:48 · answer #7 · answered by penelope 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well it depends on what he did to you I don't know if I could trust someone that has cheated on me and I have been cheated on before and its the worst feeling in the world I found out the hard way I don't think that cheaters ever change well 95% of them don't all the times I have been cheated on the guys said I love you I want to be with you. That doesn't grantee that they are just saying that to you
2006-10-11 09:47:49 · answer #8 · answered by Smile 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hhmmmm
thats means u r confused and scare of ur situation
u mention u want it but its not doing nothing to u
u know why ur defense mechanism in ur body are working to protect u from getting hurt again
if u truly love this guy which seems like it is
take ur time
tell him not to rush things and let ur relationship grow
i think 2nd time is the charm
good luck n be happy
2006-10-11 09:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You look like a really attractive & happy person…so if you don’t have feelings for your partner anymore then I’m sure there must be someone else out there for you.
2006-10-11 10:57:53 · answer #10 · answered by Mr Crusty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋