miscarriage?

Question

I had a miscarriage some months back....and still feel sad about it.......the baby was due next month....I can't seem to get over it....help :-(

I can't get pregnant again right now bcos I am having treatment for cancer and its not a terminal cancer....it was diagnosed in its early stages and can be treated.

Answer 1

Of course you feel sad, and as the date approaches for the expected birthday, you will feel the lose even more accutely. There is no official period of mourning, no date where you can say- yes, okay, I'm over that and can now move on. That feeling only comes with time, and the more time passes the easier it becomes.
You would probably benefit from talking with a support group, or even another woman who can share the experience of this kind of loss. You don't mention a significant other, but I assume there must be one somewhere. Hopefully that person is still nearby, and may well also be hurting from the loss. If this is the case, the shared hurt may be the greatest key to begining a significant move towards the healing process.
Undergoing cancer treatment is also demanding on one physically and emotionally. I'm certain having the double whammy can't be that easy to handle on a daily basis, either. There are numerous support groups that could probably be of benefit to you in that area as well. I don't know where you live, but most hospitals have a social services department you can contact and they can put you in touch with somebody close enough to actually be of personal benefit to you.
I also have suffered loss like yours. Both miscarriage and stillbirth- and the pain of the loss is still with me. It is not nearly as accute as it was in the beginning, but I still mark the anniversary with sadness. I did heal, and can now put the hurt in proper perspective- but it took a while to be able to do that. I had support of my husband, family and priest- as well as a visit from the social worker sent by my doctor. I was not also having to recover from cancer treatment within that time- so I can well imagine how much harder it makes your days and life. I urge you to seek out somebody in person, so you can talk through this face to face with a living being you can see and touch. You can get through the pain, it does happen, I promise. I would give you some of my strenth if I could, but words on a computer are just not enough. But at least know you are not alone in your pain. It has been shared by many, many women- and if you ask about you will find you have a great deal of company. I'm sure at least one of them will be able and willing to lend you an ear and shoulder until you are in a better position to go it again. So please, don't lose heart. Get help, and hold on. The pain will pass, and things will get better.

Answer 2

I had a miscarriage 10 years ago and every December 27 I cry. For me life starts at conception so my baby was a living breathing human being and just like with any other loved one it hurts when they die. I had a lot of support from my family and I still do. Talk to them about how you feel. If that's not an option than go talk to a therapist. There are also a lot of support groups for this kind of thing check them out and see if it helps you. And remember you have the right to grieve and don't let anyone tell you different. You will always feel the lose but others can help you to cope with it. And good luck you sound like you need it.

Answer 3

im sory swweety i also had a misacrriage it is a very difficult thing to go throught i know, but think of it this way atleast u are treating your cancer and imagine if you were prego and doing it, that wouldnt have been good for the baby, you can try again when you are done with treatment, i wish u the best of luck

Answer 4

you probably have some sort of post traumatic stress syndrome or post natal syndrome or something. i think it would be best to talk with your doctor and maybe be put on some anti depressants? they really do help. Im sorry you lost your baby :( i dont know what its like but i can imagine...