I am in such a rut and feel so pathetic...?

Question

After being a manager at an office for seven years one of my coworkers and bestfriends(or so I thought)called our HR people and snitched on me for playing practical jokes on another coworker(reason was he is gross, never showers, steals from the company etc)Me and another girl were doing harmless pranks at first and then I guess, truthfully we got out of hand. I had stopped pranking and a week later this so called friend thought I did another prank(which I swear I didnt)and called the big bosses. Now I have no job, health insurance and have no one to talk to. Unfortunately, my good friends were coworkers who seem leary to have anything to do with me since I guess it is like instantly getting a communicable disease they think may get them too if they have anything to do with me. I have no friends and dont know what the heck to do with my career. I hated the job field anyway but have two kids to worry about and my family is not supportive at all. I feel so depressed & lonely!

Answer 1

I am sorry you are going through this. I have been there. Not the jokes but losing a job in my chosen career field. You must just learn from this and go on. You have two choices. You can seek another job in this field at a better company or seek work in an entirely new field. After 7 years you should know some stuff, so getting another job in that field should be easy.

My advice, since you have two children, (you don't mention a husband to help) and they depend on you, I would get a job doing what I was doing to keep the money coming in. I would still send out resumes to other companies to eventually find something better. Another idea, what is something you always wanted to do?? Be a photographer, a small biz owner, etc. If you have a dream, try getting a job working with a photographer to learn all you can, A small biz owner to see all the good points and bad to running your own biz. Whatever you desire, try to get in on the ground floor and work your way up. You don't have to be unhappy in a job. There are simply to many others out there to try. Good Luck. This rut is just that.... a rut. It will eventually go away and things will get better.

Answer 2

That sucks big time.

I know how it feels to lack social interaction -- I'm sort of going through that at the moment, too. The most important thing that you have to keep in mind is not to give in to depression. I know it sounds hard, but try to remain cheerful throughout everything. Make new friends [it's easier than you think, you can just go to a pub, sit down at a table next to someone and start a conversation with any phrase - like 'Have you seen a tall blond man wearing a green jacket...' etc. (this makes a good start usually) -, or try joining a bigger group -- I do that all the time :)], find a new hobby, hang out with your children more... there's lots of things you can do that involve social interaction.

Besides, remember to take care of yourself first of all. Go to the gym, go on a shopping spree [be careful not to spend too much, though -- second-hand shops are always a great alternative to brush-up your wardrobe at a low price], practice a new make-up style, read a book you've always wanted to read... If you sit all by yourself and sulk in a dark corner, things definitely won't get better. But if you're optimistic and you remember that 'whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger', you'll manage to get rid of your depression soon enough ;)

Best of luck!

Answer 3

Oh God, I feel for you, but as they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. You need to get out there and find a new job and as tough as it is starting a new job, it's the best thing you can do right now. If your friends from you old job are snubbing you off, then they weren't your friends any way. If they are your true friends, then they will come around. Like you say, they may just be playing it safe right now. So go out there, hold your head up high and hopefully you can learn from your mistakes. Don't feel bad about getting fired though, it happened to me also, same kind of thing, except I put tape over a metally retarded kids mouth because I couldn't take the constant noise coming from his mouth. I figured out though, that it definately wasnt' the job for me. So, good luck and just remember, things could always be worse. The sun will shine again, and look at it like there will be new friends to make :)

Answer 4

You're so used to being in a rut that when you somehow break out of one, you immediately consider your new situation to be a rut. Sure, the old rut paid the bills. But right now you are free to find something way more satisfying. You had a bunch of false friends and you've lost them. Or found that out, depending on how you look at it. Your attitude will make your present situation either a bummer or an opportunity, depending on what you do with it. Check out what your options really are. Think outside the box! Take a quantum leap toward your real fulfillment. The only alternative to making the most of this is to be really unhappy.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 5

Well, what you did WAS pretty nasty! People who don't shower as often as most Americans often are from a different culture or have some mental disorder that prevents them from doing so...so have some compassion!

The problem with playing "pranks" (which, by the way, really can HURT people!...They're not "harmless"!) is that, like the boy who cried "Wolf!", you are often seen that way for a long time, if not forever!

It sounds like you need some counseling to find out WHY you play pranks on people. I'd guess that you have some unresolved anger issues toward people (parents? other family? spouse?) that you feel helpless about and so you take it out on people who have NOTHING to do with what happened to you!

Get help...NOW!!! And good luck! Don't end up like my mother, defensive, "always right" and almost completely deserted by friends and family, because of her penchant for criticizing (which is just a more straightforward way to vent anger than pranks).

Answer 6

Pick your self up and gt another job. Then go to school part time to get a new job you really like. You will meet new people. That is a given. There are people all around you. You have time to pick and choose who you have as a friend.
Don't worry about it. Take this time to take a breath and realign your priorities, thoughts and life.

Apply for unemployment!

You can do it!
Been there done that with 2 small kids.

Answer 7

Apply for another job. As someone of responsibility you should have known better than to "fool around". It doesn't look good for a manager to set a bad example, because then someone else will do the same. Managers are promoted to that position because they show a sense of responsibility and maturity. Learn from your mistake and start looking for another job.

Answer 8

Violin playing in the background.

Playing jokes on people? What kind of manager does that? I'd hate to work w/ someone like yourself and I'm glad you got fired. Learn your lesson and act more professional in the future. Grow up.

Answer 9

this is a similar problem i've had jobs can be stressful and who needs friends you have two of the best friends anyone could have so put that chapter of your life in the past and go on you can be successful at anything with the right attitude.

Answer 10

Sounds like they did you a favour if your friends have disowned you for being fired. Consider becoming a circus clown, or working in a comedy club. It would be more fun and pranks would be encouraged.