I am doing a project for this, and there this sentence i am not sure if got anything wrong. Need your kind help here.
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
Please read this sentence, is there any mistake? please correct for me as i need to submit this tomorrow and thanks for your help.
2006-10-11 01:50:47 · 13 answers · asked by wishingforpeace 3 in Business & Finance ➔ Advertising & Marketing ➔ Other - Advertising & Marketing
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
Today, as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present to Axion Pte Ltd our most heartfelt congratulations upon the official launching of yet another grand Axion Autohaus. The new Axion Autohaus is located on Maine Road, and certainly aspires to be at the forefront of the industry.
2006-10-11 01:58:58 · answer #1 · answered by lizzylubinski 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HI. I am an Editor in chief of a publication here in the Phils and I guess I can help you.. here's the revised one..
"Today, as we continuously search for breakthroughs, we are proud to lay our heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching and opening another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspiring to be at the forefront of the industry"
2006-10-11 02:02:28 · answer #2 · answered by bongsky57 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it should read:
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, which aspires to be at the forefront of the industry. "
There doesn't seem to be too much to change.
2006-10-11 02:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by malcolmg 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seems a bit of a 'run on'. Perhaps you should 'announce' the opening and then give congratulations.
Today, we are proud to officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road. We are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd as they continue to aspire to be at the forefront of the industry.
2006-10-11 01:59:48 · answer #4 · answered by words_smith_4u 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Today, as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancementS, we are proud to present our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially LAUNCHING yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, WHICH aspireS to be at the forefront of the industry."
2006-10-11 02:00:06 · answer #5 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you said made no sense and was riddled with grammatical errors. I've corrected your sentence below. It makes better sense now. You are congratulating somebody for starting something and he must know where it is located. No need to tell him about its location. He must know it. So I've corrected your sentence for you.
"We proudly congratulate Axion Pte ltd for officially launching yet another grand Axion Autohaus."
I
2006-10-11 03:06:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too long. Can't you just say"
Thanks Axion Pte Ltd for your great contribution to launch yet another Autohaus!!! Viva Axion !!!
2006-10-13 01:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by Borat2® 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's clumsy.
"search for breakthrough enhancement" needs a subject
breakthrough enhancement...of what?
"Today we congratulate Axion Pte Ltd on the official opening of their Maine Road Axion Autohaus."
I think you are suggesting that your company and Axion are partners, and you are commending further co-operation and hopefully improving market share for mutual benefit.
the phrase "most hearfelt congratulations" is too much.
In my mind it's not really necessary to spell out your desire for greater market share....but I know some people like to mention it.
2006-10-11 02:10:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg too long of a sentence to declare it multi functional breath. try breaking it down purely a sprint like this. on the instant, as we consistently seek for breakthorugh enhancement, we are are proud to contemporary to Axion Pte ltd our heartfelt congratulations. The genuine launching of yet yet another grand Axion Autohaus, that's placed on Maine highway, aspires to be on the leading edge of the industry.
2016-10-19 04:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comma after: Today, then: Ltd, then: launching no 'the' after. comma after Autohaus,
and it is a bit of a run on. you might want to think about making it 2 different sentences.
2006-10-11 02:01:10 · answer #10 · answered by white_goth_11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋