Having "the talk" with my girlfriend?

Question

Look,my girlfriend and i are both virgins,earlier this year she told me she wants me to be her "first",and i want to be. I need a way to bring up us having sex though,i really can't seem to find a way to. Due to her strict parents,we gotta find out when and where,my mom is no problem,she'll let me go somewhere to movies or something on a date and pick me up at a certain destination if i asked. Also if u can help me outside of this question as in other advice and what not put a * at the end of your question.

Additional Details

I got protection,Spermicidal lubricated condoms,so don't come to me with the whole pregnancy speech,i didn't ask for lectures and speeches,and she will be using birth control,honestly,we are both 14,but we are ready.

Answer 1

i have to say you are young dude, but if your both are ready, theres no reason not too. seems as though you have the protection all covered too. all you need is a time and place. the thing is stuff like this is hard to plan and kinda weird if it is. just bring it up with your girlfriend. say thats it something you have been thinkin bout lately. mayeb you can both find a way for it to happen. try not to put so much emphasis on the first time though.

oh n just give me a buz if you want or something.

Answer 2

I don't want to sound like the rest of these people that are saying "No way, you're too young", but I do think that. If you are only 14, that will just complicate things. Trust me, I'm 26, and find that sex complicates things now. I'd wait a few years and see what happens with the relationship. Guessing from your age, I'm going to say that you're probably a freshman in High School. If your school is anything like mine was, there's alot of politics involved. Not to mention peer pressure, etc. Something to think about, though...Just because everyone in your class is talking about having sex, I'd say probably 10%, if that are actually doing it. No offense, but at 14, chances are that you and this girl won't be married with grandchildren 50 years from now. I personally think you should wait a while. Sex really does complicate things. I can sit here and tell you this and that, but ultimately it IS your decision, and I'm sure you will make the right decision for you.

Also, your first time should be special...No offense again, but at 14, there's no way I or any of my girl or guy friends could plan that kind of evening. IF you wait til you're older, you'll have more resources, confidence, etc. Just something to think about. Feel free to email me if you have any other questions.

Answer 3

"I got protection,Spermicidal lubricated condoms,so don't come to me with the whole pregnancy speech,i didn't ask for lectures and speeches,and she will be using birth control,honestly,we are both 14,but we are ready."

With an attitude like that! you can easily tell you are still immature and aint ready!! You ask for something we answer aswell as remind you certain things, if you dont like that dont bloody ask!!

So i aint gonna help you, you get rid of that attitude then alot more people would answer you!

Oh and btw i think you 2 are too young! you aint gonna get this kinda thing back you know, you need to really bloody think about it!!!

_ GOOD LUCK! _

Answer 4

Your 14? well, to tell you the truth neither of you g uys are ready! you guys are in what 7th grade? you kids just learned about sex! i do not think that you should be having intercourse yet... and if your parents or her parents found out what would you do? also where would you do it at? i mean you do not drive and you do not have any plac eof your own! i hope that you do not choose to have sex yet it is not something you should want to do yet... especially because you are only 14 and you guys are gurenteed not to be together forever ! high school is around the corner and you 2 will be meeting plenty new people!! be advised that i was in this same situation! be smart and just do not hace sex yet... wait! make it super special so when you can take her on a date and bring her home to a place of your own! okay!
-you most likley will not listen but i am just telling u it will mean so much more if u did it this way!

Answer 5

**well, i know how you feel because i was in the same situation a couple days ago and im 21. seems to me that you're ready. if you want to bring it up to her, just ask her ,dont make her feel presured, becuase even tho ya'll have talked about it, since its the first she will still get nervous. sont worry i dont like those speeches either. if anything wait till a week or two b4 her period, then have sex if possible so you kno if she's preg. (when she misses her period, u have something to worry about), if she's lucky and hasnt get her period yet, thats good. be nice and gentle. also be aware of the condom, u dont want it to rip and not realize it. also make shure you have plenty of time, because you might need it. but remember if u do get caught u wont see her again. and u dont know if she's ur wife. is it really worth it? to have all this sex now, then what is to look foward in the future. nothing. there wont be that spark of mystery. trust me sex isnt all that once u it. u might regret it u might not. and it can also change ur relationship, it can wither seperate u or make u closer, but dont sont it under pressure and be like veryone else, worried bout babies and stuff. if its meant to happen than it will. if not then it wont.***

Answer 6

You are only 14 and if you have to sneak around to have sex then you are not ready in any way. You have a lot of experiences still to have and I don't think that having sex at such a young age is one that you should go down. Sorry for the lecture, but I know you will do what you both feel is right for you. I just don't think that you should be having sex at such a young age.

Answer 7

hey, who's to say your not ready??? only YOU can say if you are ready or not.

sex is a very sensitive subject to some people, and can be hard for people still living with controlling parents.
email me at [e-mail] and give me some more details of her background and her parents' lifestyle and i'll be able to tell you exactly what you should say, and how to have you first time be awesome, and make it so her parents will never know.

Answer 8

"Look," yourself. You're starting to fall into the way of liberalism and are contemplating doing what every stupid liberal will tell you is okay and fine. You have a good thing going - don't ruin your life and hers. Be a man - this is your responsiblility, and don't be like the sea of all alike.

Well, I hope that you "safe sex" people are happy. This is the sort of mentality that you have bred in the young. Guaranteed they have sex ed at their school.

Answer 9

You are both minors and living under your parent's rules. Either you both run away and make a life of you own, supporting yourselves and so forth, or you respect the rules of BOTH parents, and don't encourage her to sneak around and get in trouble. If you got caught, don't expect to ever see her again.

Answer 10

GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH! SOUNDS LIKE YOU GUYS ARE PREPARED. I WOULD BE HONEST AND STRAIGHT FORWARD ABOUT IT. WHEN YOU TO ARE ALONE MAYBE EATING LUNCH ALONE AT SCHOOL OR JUST HANGING OUT AFTER LUNCH JUST TALK ABOUT IT.MAKE PLANS TOGETHER IF THIS IS STILL WHAT SHE WANTS JUST MAKE SURE YOU BOTH ARE MENTALLY READY.WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY! I THINK 14 IS A LITTLE YOUNG THOUGH BUT YOU WILL DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO! JUST DON'T PRESSURE EACH OTHER IN TO SOMETHING!