Our son is 4 years old and has been telling little white porky pies for some time now. We chastise him for this but where has he got it from and how did he learn to do it. It certainly wasn't from us, and if from other kids then where did they learn ?
2006-10-11 00:38:08 · 18 answers · asked by monkyman 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Children have very large imaginations. They don't have to learn to tell lies, exactly. But the way that I dealt with it was to teach my son the difference between the truth and a lie and when I was sure he knew the difference, if I caught him in a lie, I would explain to him why I knew he was lying to me and to explain that it was very wrong and I gave him a chance to tell me the truth. If he did not, depending on the lie, he got punished by my taking away his toys, games, movies, etc. for a period of time. When that didn't work, I explained again and told him the ways that lies can cause problems and he got a spanking. I know it sound cliche, but I always gave him the speech about how bad it hurt me to have to correct him this way, and it honestly did b/c I usually cried worse than he did, and I never used anything other than my hand on his bottom, so it mostly hurt his feelings worse than anything. You have to use your own judgement about the punishment, but I believe in spankings not beatings. It only took a short time and I rarely had a problem with him lying to me. But you also must form a bond of trust with your child and show him that you are always honest with him as well, even if you don't want to be sometimes. Try not to promise to do anything with him that you are not absolutely sure you can follow through on. Children look at that as you lying to them. I found this out the hard way. So if the weather caused us not to be able to make our plans, I always substituted going to the movies or some other activity, for example.
2006-10-11 03:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by Candy D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry, yet did you in basic terms say that oldsters should not be trustworthy with their young ones all of the time by way of fact they could strengthen as much as be gullible? that's the implication of what you wrote and that's ludicrous. If something it engenders a pathological distrust of the international whilst even your mothers and dads are cheating with you. you're additionally assuming that there are in basic terms 2 recommendations in a concern like this, mendacity and harshly telling the youngster the certainty. there's a thank you to do it gently, on the youngster's very own velocity. That includes listening to them and answering their questions. Your final paragraph is incomprehensible by way of fact it misrepresents the Pew findings. the shown fact that the learn states that there are "people entering into the unaffiliated classification outnumber those shifting out of the unaffiliated team by using extra desirable than a three-to-one margin" thoroughly contradicts your end..
2016-10-16 01:50:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
interesting question...
humans can only learn from experience. So if the children's parents tell white lies then the children learn to lie as well.
Another explanation is that the children will not know what lying is. They will know that if they tell the truth then they might get in trouble, so they tell something other than the truth. To us that is lying, but to the children it is getting off punishment by avoid taking responsibility for what they did. They achieve this by not stating the truth.
2006-10-11 00:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by Zed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children have big imaginations! they believe the lies they say even. I have a 4 year old myself and i dont chastise him when he lies..but then again he doesnt lie . I think it's because all the lines are open for communication and he can express himself in many ways through art, playing etc. IEven if he lied would never chastise him for it because i know he would grow out of it anyway i would just "explore" the lie a bit to hear his real thoughts.
2006-10-11 00:42:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's simple deductive reasoning on their own part - 'If I tell the truth then I might get punished, so I'll make something up', fortunately for us they're usually very bad liars at that age! It's when the parents believe everything their little angel says that things start to get nasty.
2006-10-11 00:49:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kids will begin to lie as soon as they can begin imagining... Its disconcerting to all parents - you are not alone. But Christianity has a name and explanation for this phenomena - its caled the "sin nature." That's why we do not have to teach our children to lie - they will do it anyway and quite naturally. What we exert effort on is teaching them NOT to and to do good.
2006-10-11 04:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by Phoebhart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it just comes naturally from the age of about 3. i think its got to do with the desire to be good. they dont want you to think they could possibly do something naughty so they tell you straight to your face that teddy did it!!! i couldnt believe it when mine first started doing it. i have to tell her that i would rather her tell me the truth than lie about it. i ask her 'does mummy ever tell you lies' and she answers 'no' and then i ask her if she thinks mummy would like it when she tells them, and she also answers 'no' but 5 seconds later Mulan has tipped all the pencils out!!! i am sure it will sink in soon... i dont think they really learn it from other kids, i think they just want to please us so much and also, they dont want to go into time out/naughty step so they fib. they get over it soon enough... hopefully...
2006-10-11 00:49:52 · answer #7 · answered by gwendolynpearce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its puzzling isnt it? my daughter is two and she does!!
the only thing i can come up with is probably from you or other adults/children. i know you said you don't lie, but everyone does at some point, even if it's something trivial like their bath water is hot, and they find it isn't, or you say peas are yummy, yet you hate them yourself kind of thing
with me i know i do, as i say to my daughter that things are green when they aren't, small lies that prompt her to tell me correct colour......... so maybe it is you and you don't realise it?
2006-10-11 05:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by sinnedfairy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ddaa, because of don't have troubles. I always lie for getting out of uncomfortable situation.I am professional in lying, yeah!!! Oh, and almost forgot, lying means to imagine.Little kids like to imagine.
2006-10-11 00:50:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a natural survival instinct. if telling a different story to the truth save sus from troublem or humiliation we naturally lie to avoid it
2006-10-11 00:45:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋