I want this baby and I don't want my boyfriend to get in trouble with the law.I don't want him arrested, charged, and convicted of statutory rape.I just turned 16 and he's 24.I love him and we've been under a lot of stress lately.
Is "father unknown" a solution?Serious answers please.I'm fed up with judgemental people
2006-10-10 21:30:00 · 20 answers · asked by Jazz 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Oh honey, please... Are you pregnant now?
Please, walk into your nearest Women's Center, you'll need a lot of support, and counseling that goes beyong Internet blogs.
And please, look at the big picture down the years, not only today. Do not hurt yourself anymore, or you may not have the time in life to recover.
You may be a mother sooner than you are ready to, and you'll see then what your mama meant, and we all, when we asked you to get away from that man. Please promise us that you will get help.
2006-10-11 00:43:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't believe in abortion, so I can applaud you for at least having the baby. The people you really need to talk to is your parents. If they say they wont press charges on the guy, then the next logical step is marriage. I'm only saying this, because if they give you consent to get married, then the statutory rape thing is gone. At the same time, you will find out if the guy really "loves" you. If he says yes, then you'll have your husband with support, then if he ever decide to divorce or leave you, then you'll have child support. If he says No, then it's up to you to decide if what he did was wrong. I know you are sick of people telling you things, so the first step is to think about your baby. Forget that your in "Love" with him. If you still putting yourself or your feelings above that baby, then you know your still a child and most likely cant raise a baby on your own. All, in all, also think about talking to a lawyer. Good luck to you for the rest of your life. It's going to be hard, but worth it, if you stand for what you believe in.
2006-10-10 22:03:50 · answer #2 · answered by Richard A 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Jazz...
Sixteen or Seventeen years from now you may be going through this identical situation with a daughter of your own.
Sixteen or seventeen years from now the answer that "The Mom" gave you is going to make alot of sense.
I know you are thinking that can't happen and that the people that are telling you to think of yourself and your baby first just don't understand. Well, we do. We understand more than you realize and we don't want you to make poor decisions now that you *will* regret later.
If this man is supporting not having his name listed on the birth certificate there is a reason. It has nothing to do with what is in your best interest or the babies.
Time to do the mature thing kiddo, this isn't about only you and loverboy now.
2006-10-12 00:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a reasonable solution that will add more stress down the road. He should be making better decisions at 24 or learn the consequences of bad decision making. Its sounds legal but you and your parents will feel very uncomfortable when filling out the birth certificate and when you have to present it. You should be prepared for the attitudes and stares you will receive when you provide the information.
2006-10-10 23:26:18 · answer #4 · answered by bsure32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you say you love this man and want to keep him out of trouble- what you are thinking of doing is wrong. First, he is the child's father- and responsible as such. He has as much responsibility for this child as you do, and should step up to the plate to meet it. If that means he faces charges, so be it.
I'm sure at 16 you are madly in love. But things we see so clearly at 16 have a way of getting fuzzy in just a short time, say by the time we are 17 or 18. By then, this fellow will likely be long gone, and you will still have baby. Baby who will need shoes, clothes, and oh yes- a father! Baby who is entitled to all those things as well. Then you will find yourself in the position of having to file a paternity suit, and wait for that to come to court. All providing you can locate him then, of course. But lets say he moves across country, and you lose contact with him. Your suit stays on file- but no money comes in because you don't know where to begin looking for him. And so baby grows, and you are both condemned to a life of poverty because you decided to spare Father dearest jail time by not listing him as the father from birth!
Even if things do work out, and you do get married- If you don't list him as the father from birth, he will have to legally adopt his own child. You will have to pay for the DNA testing to prove his paternity, and then petition the court to have the certificate changed. It's not a cheap and easy process. You can't just come back to the vital records section and say- oh yeah, I want to name the father now. It doesn't work that way.
Forget what you think you owe the boyfriend father. You are now a mother to be, and will be a mother for life. You owe your baby more than you owe the father. He owes this baby, whatever this baby needs- for the next 18 years. Quit thinking about the law, and your stress. Start thinking about putting what this baby needs first, and let everything else fall where it may. Welcome to motherhood. Your needs no longer come first, and neither do his.
2006-10-10 21:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by The mom 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well no matter what you put on the birth certificate the state can make him take a blood test to see if he is the father. They would do this for several reasons. One reason is that is a way they can prove sexual relations. The other is if you are on welfare the state will make him pay support. In order for him to pay support he will be served with court papers requiring a blood test. If he refuses the test they will assume he is the father. Whether or not you put him on the certificate that is up to you.
2006-10-10 21:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes put him down as the father. The time to stop the lies is now. If you want to get rid of some of the stress then be truthful. A lie never stops, one more lie to cover the next, and a lie will always catch up with you one day.
2006-10-11 03:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by david_d112 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that guy is a creep for sleep with an underage girl, I know you don't like hearing that but it is the cold hard truth. If you don't put him has the father on the birth certificate he won't have to pay child support if things go wrong unless you could magically get a parental test to him after he runs off.
Him impregnanting you is not a sign of love if he loved you he would have waited until you were of age before he would put your body under such stress
Put his name on the Birth certificate just in case. best of luck to you....
2006-10-10 21:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
you should put is name on the birth certificate, he has to be there ith an id to show the lady, since you guys are not legally married, he had to sign it. Good luck to you and Him. Stop being under stress it is bad for the baby. Just enjoy your time being pergant the baby will be here sooner then u realize.
2006-10-12 04:50:51 · answer #9 · answered by shorte716 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the short run it might be a solution.But in the long run it is not a good one.Putting the baby's father on the BC will not get him in trouble for rape.If you go to collect welfare he will be responsible for child support.Which he should be willing to do anyway.For the baby's sake ,the fathers name should be on its birth certificate....Good luck and best wishes.
2006-10-10 21:39:32 · answer #10 · answered by eva b 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋