If i don't go to church she said she is gonna kick me out..is this unreasonable? i was terribly hurt and offended at the last church i was at. i'm sick a lot and work long hours even on sunday...am i being unreasonable or what? am i the only one that thinks it's rather harsh? i have no friends that i can live with so i can't stay with them and i can't afford my own place...and she knows it
2006-10-10 20:28:26 · 33 answers · asked by Starry Eyes 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Well, as long as you're living in her home, you should respect her rules. If you're not religious at all this probably won't make any difference to you, but the Bible says at Proverbs 1:8 - Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, and DO NOT FORSAKE THE LAW OF YOUR MOTHER.
On one hand, being a mother myself of two teenage boys - 18 and 19 - who still live at home, I can sympathize with your mother. You always want the best for your children and since its through the Bible that people tend to get wise to the moral code of God, its only natural to want to impart that to our children. Not to mention the fact that as parents we are under OBLIGATION to instill God's word in our children.
However, since I am a "young" mother (having gotten married and having my children at a pretty early age due to having disregarded my mother and father's advice not to date until I was older) I have a younger perspective to draw from. I wasn't interested in going to church as a teen. I stopped going at 14 to the dismay of my parents. However, they didn't kick me out or insist that I go against my will. Take it from me, its only when you're older (around mid-20s to early 30s) that you start to get a better understanding of what your parents are trying to tell you. At 26 I realized that I had a spiritual need and I pursued several churches different than that of my parents in an attempt to get a more well-rounded view of religion. I did tons of research on the religions of the world and by process of elimination based on beliefs, origins and logic I came to the conclusion that Jehovah's Witnesses have the true religion. Its up to each one of us who have the ability to use our God-given gift of reason to seek out for ourselves the truth. Your faith should not be based on the faith of your parents unless you've researched it yourself and found it to be true.
Granted, no parent probably wants to hear that their child is pursuing a religion different from their own. My children aren't Jehovah's Witnesses. They're too caught up in their own lives to be concerned with God at the moment. I hope they'll have time to reach whatever age it will be for each of them to come to the realization that they do have a spiritual need. When they do, I can only hope that they put as much time and effort into proving to themselves what they choose to believe.
As for your situation, perhaps you should sit down and calmly discuss with your mother what your issues are with going to church. Above all, be respectful and calm even if she gets upset. She is your mother and obviously she feels that you going to church is important ... otherwise she wouldn't be making such a big deal of it. Come to think of it, if I thought it would do any good I'd follow her example and make a big deal of it with my sons. It IS important, but unfortunately for us parents, most kids don't realize just how important it is.
2006-10-10 20:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is being unreasonable. You shouldn't have to go to church if you don't want to.
Why is she trying to force this on you? She probably thinks it would be beneficial to you in some way. Spirituality can help to strengthen a person, maybe she wants that for you.
Is there a specific church you must attend or are you free to choose where you go? If you are free to choose, then maybe do some research on a church that you would feel comfortable at.
Unfortunately, if you can't convince her to see things your way, you may have to go just to appease her. Just try to become financially independent as quickly as you can. It may even take years until that happens but you have to be able to make your own choices and not be manipulated.
2006-10-10 20:44:19 · answer #2 · answered by Vicki B 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As far as you live with your parents, you are not independant to live your life the way you want. But going to the church isn't a bad thing if you know the function of a church.
Just try to see things from your mother's eyes to understand her. I know you will say why don't she look from my eyes to understand me. Well that's because you're her daughter and she is rather old and believes that she is right and want you to be saved from hellfire and be a good christian, a good human being.
The only unreasonable thing is the way she talked to you but my mother too was like that so I walked away and lived on my own. But those few days I was living at her house after recognising and living like an agnostic it was hell. I was told everyday to leave the house if I do not go to mosque. And that is everyday coz muslims have to pray everyday and more than once...
Once a week is not a difficult thing to pretend :) Take things cool, and things will go cool for you. Just make as if you are ok with going to church and she will talk to you nicely. A religious place is peaceful, either ur an atheist or agnostic. It's always peaceful there. Why not take the opportunity of flushing your stress there...?
Take care.
2006-10-10 20:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
She's trying to force her will on you. Have you explained that you work a lot and need one day of rest, which even God got? Or that the last church you were at offended you?
I'm thinking this is more of a blackmail type thing than a for sure thing. It's a little too harsh to be truth. But just in case, start saving up to move out.
2006-10-10 20:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by Suraya 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, it sounds like your in a "jam" right now. When you get paid do you pay your mother rent? Do you keep a record of it? Are you a legal resident and established in her home? Does your mail get sent to her home? If so, she may have to file for an eviction judgement/order through the courts which may give you up to 90 days to find a new place to live. I don't think she can just kick you out on a dime. Call an Attorney and explore your legal rights. That's what I would do. She would have to legally force me out. Wonder why I got a thumbs down on this one? I thought it was a good answer.
2006-10-10 20:37:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Bless your heart.
I would go church with her, then disappear right when service starts. Show up just in time to get a ride home! Who says that's not compromising? You shouldn't have to get brainwashed if you don't want to...... that only forces a young person to rebel even more to be a hypocrites in the church,and there are churches full of them. Peace to ya
2006-10-10 20:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother should let you be. Your mother should realise that the days when she could use "U'll do as i say while under my roof" are long gone. Besides Churches are full of hypocrites.
They go once a week to lie to themselves that they are being good and then forget all about that the rest of the week.
U atleast are honest. Your mother should respect that and you.
Dont worry it will all work out.
the best is yet to come as some one once said
U must believe
2006-10-10 20:45:49 · answer #7 · answered by Doc M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and respectfully refuse. If she still says no, go a few times more while planning your independence and moving out. Because keeping your self respect is a lot more important than unloving blood ties. If she cares for you, she won't kick you out.
I don't know, depends on how serious it is. You got to pick your battles. Depends on how old you are too. And finally, how much is she requiring? She sounds like she's making you a church slave.
2006-10-10 20:31:11 · answer #8 · answered by Ilooklikemyavatar..exactly 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your mom should know better. She can't force you to Love God or even to serve him. Threatening to kick you out because you don't go to church is not a good reason for kicking you out at all.
Your mother needs to be delivered herself, before she starts pointing fingers at you.
Hopefully, she will come around, but if she doesn't I pray in the name of Jesus, you will be able to find safe shelter somewhere else.
2006-10-10 21:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by dreamangel20051 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your dilemma, this is the stuff that turns youth and people in general against Christianity.
My best advice is that while you are a minor or living in your parents home you must honor their decisions. This is your parents way of controlling how they want you to turn out in life. It's a form of love, but doesn't feel like it...I think that some parents force this issue out of fear of you doing something that would embarrass them and make them look like bad parents in the church community..
Have you tried speaking to your parents and finding a happy medium. Something reasonable for them and you?
God commands us to honor our mothers and fathers, I think if you can hang in there you will find many blessings will be your in the future.
Life is not always fair and fun so this is just a season you are going through. When it passes weed out the bad and look for the good and you will surely find it.
You are not alone, use your prayer time to ask Christ to intervene on your behalf. Let Him fight your battles.
My heart hears your pain and frustration......
2006-10-10 20:48:42 · answer #10 · answered by easinclair 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋