My ex and I (together for 5 years) did stuff up to oral sex, but no actual intercourse. Is this normal?
I mean I've had 3 boyfriends and gone on various other dates in my life. Kissed 10 guys. But only did sexual stuff with my longterm boyfriend, except I never wanted intercourse. He wanted to, but I didn't. I would physically clench up and my legs would tighten.
What does this mean? Why am I scared of sex? Do I need psychological treatment? Seriously too....I'm not religious nor am I conservative. I just don't want sex? What is wrong with me?
2006-10-10 20:08:17 · 21 answers · asked by Harvard Student 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Am I a lesbian? (I'm asking this for reals too...)
I've been half naked with 3 guys, but only did real sexual stuff with my long-term, yet I've never wanted to have sex. And my ex boyfriend is pretty good looking....so, psychological treatment or what?
2006-10-10 20:12:45 · update #1
There is nothing wrong with you, you are just not interested in having sex. Who can tell you what you should or should not want? If the man loves you then he will stick by you until you feel differently. (Which may or may not just happen overnight with a whim of what is sex all about?) You have the right to have your own decisions about what to do with your own body... I mean, hey you will only have one and why not treat it EXACTLY as you wish to!
Good luck to you and I really hope this helped to set your mind at ease.
P.S you just asked if you are a lesbian, as I was posting my answer... listen, if you are attracted to females, then it is a possibility... and even if that is the way it is, it is still nothing to be ashamed of. Be who you are, and do with your body as you see fit. There is no psychological treatment needed, you are young, and when and if the time is right, it will happen... good luck again to you!
2006-10-10 20:10:43 · answer #1 · answered by Cutelilminxy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
this is absolutely normal, depends on both of you. At 20, you are still young and the fact that you are still a virgin doesnt indicate any abnormality. If it was you who never wanted it, and you managed to keep it that way, its a great thing. I went out with a girl i really cared for for about 3 years and we did everything but sex.
When you feel it is right, dont hesitate, but never forve yourself to fit in somewhere, you will soon after find out that you were better off holding on. Be sure when you do it.
Congrats by the way, there is not many 20 year olds who are still virgins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-10 20:15:27 · answer #2 · answered by theKenyan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am also wiz someone for the last 6 years. Same situation as urs. Had all these thoughts pestering me. But it's normal as we are just nt ready for it and don't want the actual intercourse. Think give urself time. When you feel ready for it, everything will go smoothly.
2006-10-10 20:26:48 · answer #3 · answered by Saphire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is. My friend Jay was until he was in has 20's and he is now happily married. he never dated seriously until his 20's
2016-03-28 04:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOTHING! if you're not ready, you're not ready. and if you were with a guy for 5 years, but only 20, that means that you guys were together before your major limbs were even done growing! it's normal that you guys were just puppy lovers and you didn't want sex. when you get in a mature mature relationship, you may feel different desires. no rush. TRUST ME.
2006-10-10 20:14:05 · answer #5 · answered by sexy law chick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to have a fear of sex... All you need is to cooperate your bf and things will be fine.. Dont make the things more complicated by raising such doubts of abnormality... You dont like because you have not tested.. once you felt the pleasure of ecstasy you will stop feeling like this... All the Best...
2006-10-10 20:15:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT normal, it's little wonder that this poor chap is now your EX boyfriend. If I had wasted 5 years of my life on such a frigid specimen as you I would not be a happy bunny.
2006-10-10 20:12:11 · answer #7 · answered by Turbot Face 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats the difference bewteen oral sex and the intercourse ?
both = sex on the same level.
doesnt make sense then
2006-10-10 20:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by Martin the baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your not ready. Just wait til you meet someone that you are sexually attracted to, but, of course, sex isn't everything. It's not a RACE to have sex, it should be enjoyed.
2006-10-10 20:12:31 · answer #9 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a psychological prob. Always remember that sex is gift of god. Accept it n enjoy ur life.
2006-10-10 20:33:53 · answer #10 · answered by neplizheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋