I have commitment issues? (I'm a girl,,,(?

Question

I am 20, and I was in a long term relationship for 5 years. It became long distance when I came to university. Now, I have trouble committing, and I date a lot of guys, but I dont even really like them in that way. Some of them I don't even want as friends. I don't even know why I date them.

What's up with me? Also, all of my friends at college are guys, and I think most of them get the wrong idea. For example, if I hang out with them, they tell their friends it's a date, when it's not at all. We don't even touch.

I don't even know what I want...I don't want a long term relationship. I don't want a relationship really. I just don't know.

I think most girls want commitment, right? What's wrong with me? Also, I ended the long-term relationship, so it wasn't that my ex was a jerk or anything either....

In fact, I'd say that I was the jerk in the relationship.

I also dislike how my guy friends get the wrong idea, and then when they are drunk, try to touch me and call me up saying I'm beautiful or they want to sleep in my apartment. I'm just tired of everything, and I don't know what I want. What do I do?

Answer 1

Get a dog

Answer 2

First of all, what does being a girl have to do with having commitment issues? Secondly, who has determined that you have those issues? You are 20 years old and attending college, probably pulling a case load that would make your teachers in high school wonder about you *laughs softly.**

Now, to address the issues: If you don't want them as friends, then they are not worthy to date. Sitting at home on a Saturday is not a crime, and is actually preferred over a date by many people. Next, the guy friends issue versus a date. The boys are trying to save face, or maybe they would like to think they are dating the most beautiful sought after girl in school. They want their friends to be jealous of what they aren't getting, but daydreaming about. And maybe I have been so far out of the loop, but sweetie... tell them to keep their hands off if you don't wnat to be touched, even if it is a real date and they have splurgedon you. It is your space, respect it.

Take time to concentrate on you. Find new friends if the old ones don't listen, and heal. Seems to me that maybe you might be punishing yourself over the break-up with your ex... Things happen.....

God speed and god bless.

Answer 3

I don't know if I would say, you have commitment issues! I would say that your simply not ready!

So many feel they have to have a boy friend or a girlfriend and they need a commitment of sorts.

Male's are out for one thing and that's the way they think! I wouldn't worry about it, if I were you! When you are ready it will happen for you! You don't sound like the type who wants a cheap roll in the sheets! Good for you, you seem to be a self thinker and that's great! Why should you be like most other people, your an individual with your own thoughts and desires!

Answer 4

You need to take time out and discover what you really want in life. It may not be a relationship that you want right now at all. Or, maybe you're looking for a close friend - someone to hang out with and share things with - someone who's got your back.

You may be so busy - or working so hard, or have so much on your mind that you can't enjoy life - or the company of other people.

Maybe you're fantasizing or curious about other dating alternatives, but be sure about that before you jump into anything. No matter who you date true happiness will have to first come from within you. Another lifestyle won't necessarily make you completely happy.

So, take some time out... think about your wants, needs, interests, and goals, and write them down. Write down what you want in a lover or partner, and look for that. If there isn't anything you want right now, just try to focus on your work and your career and traveling if you can. Try to relax and enjoy yourself.

Brother DzL (AsP)
"The Player's Lifestyle"

Answer 5

There are a lot of guys out there that can be your friends without crossing that line. When they do cross that line, tell them, if they do it again, that is a friendship that you don't need.

You say that you 'date a lot of guys'. Now are these real dates or the guys who are claiming to date you? Don;t waste your time with dates that you have no feelings for. It is leading them on. The guys that are your real friends will respect your boundaries.

To make sure your point is getting across you can even use the phrases like, "I am glad we are friends". "you're like a brother", things to let them know your feelings aren't romantic at all.

You just ended a long relationship. It's completely normal for you to feel the way that you are feeling.

Don;t worry about relationships and men, care about discovering what makes you happy and how to achieve it. Concentrate on school. Enjoy yourself!

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with you, you dont want a relationship I think more people should take there time maybe there would be fewer divorces. As far as your male friends are concerned be honest and tell them just because your not seeing anyone doesnt make you a sex toy. Tell them if your not attracted to them when there sober what would make them think you are when there drunk? Im a guy and I cant stand it when a drunk woman comes on to me,I find it insulting that they cant be honest when there sober. Do what you need to do to be happy.

Answer 7

When your ready for a relationship, find an older man, about 10 or more years older, that way he will be mature enough for you, and can help you out with some of your problems commiting...until then finish school, and just have your buddies...

Answer 8

i think u r totally confused u just keep conctrate on u r studyies and tell them directly to them like am seeing u as frend only and gurl if u give chance they will try to over come ok so be careful eeby typing i think u will be cute girl only so u will get handsome and nice guy till that wait and study well ok what ever u do sit and think thrice ok....

Answer 9

concentrate on your studies for now and forget abt guys. as you get older u will be more focused as to the kind of guy u actually want and one that deserves u.

Answer 10

not true. you know what you wants but either afraid or have too much attention therefore you become comfused and can not decide.. or you have not met or allowed the person who you can not go on one day without him.