My daughter is 9 weeks old?

Question

and her dad has only spent limited time with her. Maybe he's seen her 4 times. I catch hell all the time with her. I try to feed her I get hell. I bathe her and I catch double hell it just gets worse. She screams during her baths all the time. He came over last saturday and he gave her a bath and she laughed and smiled in his face like he's around full time. I do everything by myself and the only time I get a smile is when I feed her. Why does this happen? It doesn't make sense? Why don't I get that treatment and I'm the only one taking care of her!!!

there was no frustration when he was here. We were good. I don't have frustration when I'm around her or him

What are you people talking about? Where do you get me being frustrated from? I AM NOT FRUSTRATED... I have nothing to take out on him. I'm curious why she laughs and smiles in his face and not in mine!!!

Answer 1

the male voice is soothing to a baby....after my son was born, I had a day where he was nothing but fussy, I was tired, and couldn't do anything to please him. Hubby comes home, poof, son is cooing, and mellow, and I started to cry..."he hates me"....that lasted for such a short time...but seemed like an eternity...He's 26 now, but I remember that day...Don't fret, and props to ya' for doing it all!!!...It'll be fine, and congrats on your new daughter!

Answer 2

Oh honey, I have 4 kids and I know exactly how you feel......
Moms always gets the worst of it. So it seems.
If it's at all possible maybe a family member can give you a break away from her a couple times a week for an hour or two. An afternoon would be even better. Part of the problem, as silly as it may sound, is that you're spending too much time together. You know the ole saying "you don't miss someone until they're gone" Well, this is the case with Dad. She doesn't see him as often so she responds with a "I missed you where've you been" attitude. I know you say you're not frustrated, but honey after nine weeks I'm sure you must be, even if it's just a little bit, she can pick up on that..... My only suggestion other then the time away, if that's not possible, just hang in there honey....Things will work out as time goes on.
Then the day will come when she'll do all these special things in front of you and when you want to show your friend, or her Grandma, she won't budge.....hahahahaha
Kids are funny.....
Good luck, and I hope you're still getting plenty of rest..

Answer 3

She is an infant, as such they know when the person holding them is nervous, or uptight, sometimes babies calm down around men just because they are bigger so they feel more secure. It is impossible for a 9 week old to give a person hell. They have to be at least 2. Talk to her a lot in a calm voice when feeding her and after, look at her closely. and hold her. She will respond to you in a way she won't with anyone else soon. If she is crying there is something wrong, try wrapping her in a blanket.She may want to feel cuddled. Maybe an hour or two off might help any family or friends close enough to give you a break? Since it is getting cool maybe just a quick wash off one day instead of a full bath. At three months many babies start to be "fussy" because they are bored, aware that things are going on around them but unable to do anything.Try different rooms. This is the longest answer I have given! Your baby is not out to get you! If that is her picture she is beautiful, I do understand where your coming from though it will turn around.

Answer 4

hi there firstly congratulations on youre baby girl ....now sit down and breath !!!!! youre little girl is doing what they do best cry and you must be really relaxed when you feed her ....right you get all comfy and sit back and there you go the smiles appear ....sound about right ....well whats happening is this little girl sences that youre panickin about things it could be when youre giving her a bath they become a right slippery thing and ive been there where iv thought that she is going to get hurt if she slips right out my hands her dad doesnt have to deal with the day to day stuff that you deal with so hes bound to be relaxed ,when was the last time you had a break and some time for you .....thought so before she arrived into this world .try and organize someone to look after for even a couple of hours so that you can have some you time and do nothing but pamper you ,a bath a lie on the couch or a walk if thats what takes youre fancey but nothing like work and you will feel a bit better its only normalto be the one that she screams at .....it comes with the job ,you are her mum and as she grows and changes that wont when her world is not right this little girl will wnt nothing more than her mum to help sort it out for her ,youre doing a great job looking after youre little girl takecare not just her but have some time for you xx

Answer 5

Your baby is feeling your frustration and tension. Dad waltzes in without a care in the world. Note he is just visiting, and for you it's a day and night job. Your baby senses his happiness to seeing her and is responding to his talking to her, smiling at her and the comfort he feels around her.

I'm assuming you are young and this is an unplanned pregnancy. So you may have underlying feelings of resentment..

You might want to use the time when the Dad comes for his visits to go out and do something for yourself. Get a manicure, do some shopping, anything you like to do.

Obviously this young man has no intentions of marrying you so start taking care of yourself and focusing on nurturing your child in a loving environment.

In no time you and your baby will be all that matters....

Babies get fussy, you will need to find ways to comfort your baby and not just think she's giving you hell. (I've never heard a loving mother use this term)

You will need to find inner peace and happiness so your daughter can sense well being and security. Bond with your baby, don't disconnect.

This should be a joyous time in your life, but it's your choice as to how you will handle your life.

You daughter did not ask to be brought into this world and now that she is here she deserves the very best you can give her in the spirit of love and tolerance.

she is more precious than anything you will ever receive....

Answer 6

Are you breastfeeding? I have heard that when you are breastfeeding it can change the way baby reacts to you because she can always smell the milk coming off of you.

I'm guessing in this case she probably senses your stress too so take a deep breath and concentrate on being calm & happy before bathtime. Talk in a soothing voice no matter what you are actually saying and sing & laugh yourself. She should start laughing along with you. It's hard caring for an infant alone, espeically while you are still recovering from a major medical procedure (pregnancy and childbirth). Just hang in there and keep positive thoughts and know it will pass. At least until she is a teenager :-)

Answer 7

Take a breather you are tense and they can pick that up. when you are upset sing your favourite song or hum it that should help calm you down I found when my children were baby's they too would scream and carry on with me and be happy with someone else, I had my husband at home but he never saw his kids because of his work he was only seeing them for a total of 30minutes a day if i was lucky. My daughter liked humming were as my son loves Christmas songs( he came at Christmas time) find something you both like a try to do that together once a week or more. find a toy she likes that can go into the bath with her or even try having a shower with her she may not feel securer with you in the bath she may prefer the shower my daughter use to fall asleep in the shower. it gets better specially when they say mum then that turns to love mum

Answer 8

Its not personal. My daughter is a few weeks older than yours. She is just the opposite. She loves me but no so much with her daddy. We are married though so she us both a lot. I am home all day with her, so I notice the crying more than my husband. Stop and think about the times all during the day that she smiles at you. Remember even though it may not appear this way, she prefers you over everyone right now. She could also have colic. We have a prescription for it. After my girl takes her drops, she is a totally different baby. Hang in there!

Answer 9

Hey young mom. This is normal. You're exhausted. your Little girl loves you more than you can imagine. About the father, she is reacting to something new at 9 weeks she doesn't really know who he is. It may be that she likes the bubbles. She may be exhausted too and he comes over when she is rested, and that's not because of who he is but because of all your hard work.

If you don't have any family close by that can help, please consider for your mental health and your little girl;'s welfare that you contact someone in your church or your community or even a local hospital social worker who can help you get some support and some sleep.

Oh yeah, make certain daddy starts paying child support. He's tire of her soon and then you're stuck penniless

i will say a prayer for you two tonight. i wish the very best for both of you

Answer 10

dont consider your child screaming at bath time.. CATCHING HELL. it sounds one step from you shaking a baby.
Babies can sense frustration, and fear. If you are afraid of the whole bath routine and her crying, its going to cause her to react to how mama is feeling. Relax.. have you taken a bath with her?
It might make bath time more mellow for both of you and you will create a larger bond of trust.

just put a baby seat by the side of the tub.. with a towel in it.
You both get into the water, cradle baby on your knees and talk, sing. anything to soothe. the skin to skin contact is great for babies.
Good luck.

Answer 11

My daughter has always loved her daddy more. I'm sorry she likes her daddy more and he isn't around.

About bath time. Maybe you could put her in the shower with you? I did that with my daughter and she loved it. I would lay her in a towel and hold her while she talked to her and bathed her in the shower. Then I would make sure a warm towel was waiting and lay her in her bouncer while a finished showering. The sound of the water helped her relax and most of the time she fell asleep.

Hang in there. I know it's hard doing it alone. My husband traveled a lot when our daughter was that age. It gets better around four months old when she can move around more and is more aware of what's around her.