I recently started talking to a guy I use to talk to 3 years ago. We never had sex the first time we were talking. So recently I ran into him again at church.We started talking again. He begain calling me every day, 3 times a day sometimes. He's always been a workaholic, which is why the relationship didn't go further 3 years ago. He says he has slowed down, but I don't see it. I probably see him once a week. Well one night he was at my house and we ended up having sex. The funny thing was we couldn't finish because the condom came off and we didn't have anymore. He continued to call me on a regular bases after that, he brought up the fact that we had "unfinished" business from our little romp. Well one night I went to a concert, and after I went to his house. Of course we had sex. but this time we finished. The very next day we were to go to the movies. I didn't hear from him at all. The next morning he sends a text message apologizing. We talk later that night..
2006-10-10 17:53:12 · 26 answers · asked by NicoleAnn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I let him know what he did was inconsiderate. He apologized and told me he didn't want me to generalize him. Anyways. I talk to him the next morning like I always do. We talk for a while and then he tells me he has to get to work. He is a musician by the way....He doesn't call me back at all that day. It is 10pm the next day, and I still haven't heard from him. What is going on? Is he acting different now because we've had sex? Or am I overeacting?
2006-10-10 17:55:53 · update #1
I would also like to add that I am 26 years old and would expect more in an adult relationship. I have in no way put myself out there to him, that would make him think I am just a booty call. We've technically only had sex once. I really like him, and it would be a little devastated if sex is all he wanted from me. Maybe I should have held out longer...
2006-10-10 18:02:15 · update #2
If you don't know, sweetie, I certainly can't advise you. He's gotten all you have to give him. You'd better figure out where you go from here.
I suggest you make some quick decisions on whether this is something you want or not and then go from there. You sound like you could do better.
2006-10-10 17:57:17 · answer #1 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the sad truth: Men sometimes don't know how they feel about someone until they ejaculate. It's an evolutionary thing - like rams in the wild fighting for a chance to mate with the ewe with fabulous genes - we're intended to mate often and with different people to increase the chance of our genes to get passed on. So, biologically, he's probably doing the thing that his genes dictated he do.
Of course, there's the thorny issue of emotions.
This guy may have intimacy problems, as evidenced by his being an workaholic. Relationships are hard, but work is easy and it keeps you distracted from holes in your life, like not having anyone to love. He may have realized, the moment he finished, that he took too quick of an intimacy step with you and then freaked. It's certainly happened to me before and I'd put even money on it happening to him.
One thing you can do, if you like this guy, is to keep a dialogue open. As much as it can hurt, I imagine that he may feel like he needs distance to clear his mind. Offer to talk or do something very non-threatening with no possibility of it ending in sex. This may take awhile and you need to know how far you're willing to persue this. He may never come around and you need to be able to protect yourself and walk away a whole person.
Good luck!
2006-10-11 01:10:17 · answer #2 · answered by Michael_Combs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok i'll tell u what u r 2 him a booty call. He doesn't love u he's using u and since you already put out he doesn't really care about u anymore. Dont get me wrong the only reason he texted u the next day is he wants to keep u as a booty call so when he gets horny he knows youll be available.
2006-10-11 00:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's wierd, guys act wierd when sex is in the mix, and sometimes sex changes everything. Well accept it as it is, you had a friendly round of sex, and that's it. That's one of the games men play but play back with them. I think I get ahead because I think like a man. Like I'll have sex with a guy and won't call him. As a matter of fact the guy called me and left a message 3 days ago and I just talked to him today only because he emailed me on myspace telling me that he wasn't calling me until i called him. but the thing of it is after we had sex he said he was gonna call but i didn't give a rat's *** if he did. yes the sex was good. I didn't know that we went to the same school, so we chatted and he didn't call. Now I did call him but he didn't answer to let him know that he could've called to make sure I got home okay. He lives on the base.Girl, he's waiting on me right now to go over his room and I'm about to go to bed. I told him not tonight and he beggin for me to come over, but I had a test and I'm not going, and it's a far drive for some *** I'm tired, not desperate.But sex is sex and let him call if he wants to if not, chalk it up as one in the books.
2006-10-11 01:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no sweety if he only wants you for sex it wont matter how long you hold out the result would be the same. My advice if you know he is a workaholic this kind of behavior should already be expected. BUT if it were me i would be blunt, just ask him whats up? I think the "not knowing" part is worse than knowing at least this way you can turn your regret into good honest disgust... with him. good luck live and learn.
2006-10-11 01:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by peachy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably over reacting, the best thing for you to do is let him know that it doesn't matter to him if you hear from him or not. If he is genuinely interested in you he will make a point to keep in touch with you. Don't call him asking why he is not calling you, if he thinks he might loose you and really cares about you he will get a clue.
2006-10-11 00:59:31 · answer #6 · answered by nremtmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you understand that you don't ever have sex with a guy that you're not married to? How can you talk about this so casually, as though it's sane and there's nothing wrong with it? You've lost a big part of yourself, and for what, some twirp or punk who was only using you?
This is so blunderous, that I can't believe it. Didn't your parents teach you anything? Where are they, don't they care?
2006-10-11 00:56:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him about it ask him straight to his face if you where just a conquest to him that he did'nt get right 3 years ago cause it seems to me he just wanted to get it on,so its a bit hard for me to say but i think he used you, to be honest i have had a similar thing happen to me the only thing is we are having sex just about everyday, lets say we have a sexual relationship and it works for the both of us.
2006-10-11 01:02:03 · answer #8 · answered by archangel0376 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you set yourself up to be used, a lady, should never give her body to a man, and not know what he is looking for, and first you are to get to know him and earn respect...who knows if he really is going to call you again, if he doesn't don't trip, move on and just don't give up yourself to guys so easily...next time or anytime after that...
2006-10-11 00:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur intuition tells u right. he was just after the sex part and not into you. come to think of it.. most men u have dated, after the sex part, they would be so obssessed with you. i mean, calls u until u cannot handle the seeing each other part anymore. but this one u were talking about.. he definitely is over u, bec he has gotten what he wants.
how to deal with it? do nothing and forget about him at all.
2006-10-11 01:02:10 · answer #10 · answered by The Punisher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋