tips on how to get my toddler to sleep in his own bed?

Question

my husband usually is the one that's good with putting him to bed theres no problem with Daddy, he listens when he says "go to sleep" and immediately walks out the room. the problem is me. he cries when i leave him. i gotta tell him that i gota do homework that ill be in the next room but his reaction to that isn't the same as Daddy's and i can't find a better excuse to leave him. So i walk out of the room telling him that i gota do homework, that's when he'll cry, scream for me, hold his breath.. i feel bad. i know that i too need to learn how to get him to sleep on his own but i always find myself talking to him for over 30 minutes trying to pursuade him into sleeping by himself. sometimes im just too tired so i sleep next to him until he's asleep. any ideas.

Answer 1

Hi, My 2/12 year old is terrible with me also, and we do discipline him with time-outs too, he just doesn't seem to respect me at all compared to his dad. This seems to be a popular question that many of us cannot answer. I think if you just stick to your routine, it will work in time. Be consistent in what you do is best, if he knows a little fit will bring u back in there, that tells him that he's won, so he will continue doing this as long as u allow it. Consistency is the key, don't give into him, a little crying won't hurt him. You need to stay one step ahead of him at all times. He will love you for it in the end. Also praise him when he wakes in his own room. It's a big step for the both of you, and is a part of his growing into a big boy. I wouldn't sleep there with him though, because the whole point is for him to be able to learn to do this without you. He needs to feel safe and that he is not all alone, but with you laying with him, will only make things worse if he wakes and you're not there, he will continue waking and looking for you chances are. Does he wake in the night?

Answer 2

You just have to be firm with him like his father does. Mommies can sometimes be push overs when it comes to their little ones. Meaning that the child knows exactly what to do to get mommy to stay in the room a little bit longer and when she does leave they know just what to do to keep them coming back.

Since you're having trouble doing what his dad does, why not make a reward system? Possibly create a chart with his name on the top and the days of the week and place a gold star on the days where he sleeps in his own bed and doesn't cry, make a fuss, etc. At the end of that week if he has more stars than not let him choose a little special something. He'll begin feeling like a bigger boy and you could find that putting him to bed is much easier.

Answer 3

It's good to remember that kids sleep better in their own beds, that crying won't hurt, that holding their breath is self-limiting (if they get to the point of passing out-which rarely happens-they start breathing again), that kids do not need mommy 24/7, etc etc.

Work out a comfortable bedtime routine. Maybe washing up, toilet, teeth, reading 2 books and then lights out. That way every night, your son will know exactly what's going to happen. If your husband can be involved that's great, but you both should be in unity and agreement on the plan.

Perhaps instead of saying something like "I've got to go and study" which makes studying more important (in your child's mind) than him and he's going to do whatever he has to do to keep you there. you could say "Now you need to sleep so you can be a big strong boy like daddy" (or however you want to say it). Encourage him that you'll be close by but he needs to stay in his bed now. No excuses.

Keep it simple, Keep it clear. Remember that your son is better off in his own bed and you and your husband are better off with him there, too. Give him lots of love and the rule that he has to fall asleep in his bed.

I promise that it won't take long if you're consistent. Good for you for not letting dad do it because it's easier. Your son needs to listen to both of you and cuddling up and putting a wee one to bed is so special!

God bless you!

Answer 4

You need to just walk out of the room and shut the door. He will learn that when you tell him that it is time for bed that he needs to go to sleep. We have been having problems with our son too, and unless he cries for more than 10 minutes we do no go back in his room.

Answer 5

My husband and I just faced this one a week and a half ago. My son got used to sleeping in bed with me because my husband had been out of town. We put my son in his bed and sat with him until he went to sleep. Then we stayed until he was almost asleep. Now, I put him in bed and he goes to sleep. Remember, crying will not hurt him. He may fuss and pout, but he will get used to his own bed.

Answer 6

Good question, ever since we put my 15 month old in a toddler bed he goes whenever he is tired enough. It's so cute! Make sure he's super tired before putting him down and have a routine. Bath, reading, etc.

Answer 7

Put him in his bed and stand firm. If he gets out of bed, put him back and calmly explain to him that he needs to stay in his big boy bed

Answer 8

STOP talking to him, he wants to stay awake so he knows that he can CONTROL you and MAKE you stay by crying, holding his breath etc. Take him to bed, say good night and LEAVE.

Answer 9

Duct tape.

Or be firm like Daddy. Tell the kid "go to sleep" and walk out, don't give in to his tantrums. He'll get over it, hopefully before he goes to college!

Answer 10

get him a teddy to sleep with. OFTEn times that helps.