In a long distance relationship -- he's in New Mexico and I'm in Texas. He wants to stay there as he will have better seniority with his job. I want to stay here as I own my home (he doesn't) and can drive to work. FWIW, we both work for an airline -- he's on the ground and I'm in the air. While I would have to commute back to TX each week (there are no bases in NM) he would be able to drive to work regardless of where we live. Seems like a no brainer to me, but I need some objective opinions. At this point neither of us are able to see past our own perspective. Thanks!
2006-10-10 17:33:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Neither of us would have to quit our jobs. We both work for an airline so he has the ability to transfer to any city served by his airline making it easy for him to drive to work each day, regardless of where he lives. If I move from Houston, I will have to fly to go work each week as my job is not available in every city my airline flys, i.e., there IS a base in TX but not one in NM.
2006-10-10 17:56:00 · update #1
While it may seem like a no brainer to you is it fair to ask him to give up his years of hard work that have gained him seniority at his job? At the same time it is no more fair to ask you to part with your house that I am sure you have worked hard for or to drive many hours each week to work. However if neither one of you are willing to sacrifice perhaps this relationship is not destined to be taked to the next level?
2006-10-10 17:40:51 · answer #1 · answered by Just your average guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost a girl over this. Wanted to get my degree so I could support her, and she left me.
What do you mean he could drive to work? Drive to work in New Mexico every day from Texas? Or do you mean if he gets a new job? Why should he have to quit his job? Can't you sell your house? I think both points are equally valid, I'm just saying.
It sounds like you need to break up or else move somewhere totally different together.
2006-10-11 00:40:17 · answer #2 · answered by A Box of Signs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds to me like you guys got a difficulty in living arrangements. Because if he's refusing to move and you are refusing to move, it sounds like there's gonna be a fork in the road of your relationship.And it sounds like you're in a stalemate situation. You guys both need to come up with at least 5 reasons each as to why the other person needs to move where the other person is at. But if you guys cannot come up with that then you might just need to stay where you guys are at.. Thank god you guys aren't married. Are you in the military or something? Either way it goes, it's gonna be a hassle and a big change for both of you, so you better hope it's worth it wether your packin or if he is........
2006-10-11 00:42:24 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss what you both need from one another. Then discuss what you would be willing to do to accomodate each aother. If he is stern and fioxed, he will be that way in ev erything. Lose him immediately in that case. He will be trouble to live with and controlling.
If he decides to move to you, he is making a choice that he wants you. If you leav eand sell the house, ask him what does that mena? If he says you can buy anothers and you can both stay in that house. I hear no contribution coming out of hum. Lose him now.
2006-10-11 00:41:32 · answer #4 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he should be the one to move. Unless he makes way more money than you and couldn't make as much in Texas. Then perhaps it would be better to move to New Mexico and find another job.
2006-10-11 00:37:01 · answer #5 · answered by Akfek_Branford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if yall aint talking about marriage then stay where you at until you decide to get married
2006-10-11 00:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by lil bit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋