Would you help me deal with this delicate problem?

Question

My 6 years old son burst into the room and found us having sex.He hasn't talked to me eversince.I tried my best to explain that this is something adults do when they love each other and it's only natural and blaaah.

I hope it's not an offensive question.And for God's sake it's not "adult content".I asked a similar question and...Look here:


Hello Soledad Mendez .
You have posted content to Yahoo! Answers in violation of our Community Guidelines. As a result, your content has been deleted.

Question: ¿Cómo le hablo a mi hijo de seis años sobre sexo?

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Reason of Violation:Adult Content :

Answer 1

Just keep reassuring him that everything is OK. Maybe let him express to you his feelings. Alternatively, have your partner (I'm assuming that it's his other parent or a parental figure) try to encourage a dialogue too.

I know 6 is early, but maybe explaining how babies are made and that's how he came about may ease the shock. There are books about the birds and bees written for younger kids--I'm sure there's at least a footnote about this situation.

Please don't you feel bad, every kid has walked in on parents in the act at least once a lifetime. Your concern shows your

Answer 2

Same type of thing happened to my husband and I however our child had comments to make at the time... as in "Dad, get off my Mommy!!!"... Now that's a mood breaker...

Tell your child you realize he saw you, and you know he might have questions... Tell him you are there to answer his questions should he have any... Then drop the subject when he has digested it he will come to you and ask questions until then you are just cramming it down his throat whether or not he is ready for it...

He may well have had no clue what exactly he saw and your giving him more information than he is ready for will make what wasn't a tramatic situation into one...

This is the birds and the bees talk maybe not with the timing and built up foundation you were hoping to have... but this is it now is the time to let him guide the direction and depth of the conversation by allowing him to come to you with questions...

Buy a good stout lock and install and use it...

Answer 3

I think that children are very smart and should not be underestimated as to what they understand. I've read in some of your responses "he's too young", "he doesn't understand". I wouldn't be so sure, though all people would like to hope that a child that age knows nothing of the sort. This has never happened to me a mother of 4, but if it had (or does) I would sit down w/ my child in a safe area such as a play room or the kitchen where ever my child felt safe to talk or express his feelings/self and ask him what he thought was going on. Pending on his answer I would decide what would need to be said next. Keep in mind that you as his parent are his teacher/mentor. I would never lie, (that only teaches him to lie). I would constantly ask if he was uncomfortable, if he understands, and answer any questions he may have.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, he may not talk to you for awhile. He's probably not quite sure what to make of the situation. Give him some time and show him that nothing has changed with you or your husband. He will forgive you. If needed take him to a child psychologist or even his school counselor, if your not too embarrassed, about what happened and have them help to talk to him. Maybe your husband should try to talk to him. Or you could sit him down and talk to him together and maybe start with a toned down version of the "birds and the bees".

Someone told me that every parent should have one room in the house that they can go to be alone. In most cases that is the bedroom. I recommend buying a lock for the door and using it when you are intimate. It's not necessary, but it could prevent this from happening again.

Answer 5

I take it you are mom? It should be dad that addresses this issue with a son. I don't know "what" you were doing but it won't hurt for him to hear that is a way mommy and daddy's express their love for each other and it is something very private.

Time will heal the embarrassment but still install a lock pronto! I know it kicks spontaneity in the butt...to get up and lock the door - better safe than sorry!

Answer 6

Have you thought that he may be frightened by what he saw? You have to have a chat to him and explain that you were having a special cuddle with dad and its what mummies and daddys sometimes do.It all really depends on how much he saw as to how much detail you go into. Good luck. Next time keep the sheets on.

Answer 7

Very carefully try to get him to tell you what he is feeling inside and what does he think he saw. He may think you were getting hurt and he doesnt know how to feel about it and maybe he doesnt know what he saw but he felt that it was something he wasnt supposed to see so he might be scared that he did something wrong. Once you get him to talk to you then you will know which way to go from there. Good luck and invest in a good lock with no peepholes.

Answer 8

he will get over it. Don't you hate it when you get reported for an inoccent question. I asked how peoples mothers day was and I got it booted. Yet there is a yobo making up questions about a fake dying brother and he keeps writing it. No problems for him. I don't get it. Don't stress about your son. Talk to him about everything but the incident and he will talk again. I wouldn't bring it up again as then you are making it out to be more than it is

Answer 9

Just give him some time and he will get over it!!! It prob embarrassed him more than anything!! You can explain it until you are blue in the face but he will prob not really understand!! I have a 6 year old boy too and we have gotten lucky a few times!!!!

Answer 10

Take help of a friend or teacher to talk to your child.It will take some time.I saw my parents when I was a child.I hated them for years.Got the answer when I became an adult.