2006-10-10 16:50:17 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
no i don't.
2006-10-10 16:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A newly married couple were spending their honeymoon in the Seychelles. One morning they bought a brightly colored parrot and took it back to their hotel room. However, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making and after a few days of this the annoyed groom flung a blanket over it's cage and shouted : "If I hear one more word out of you, I'm taking you down to the zoo and leaving you there!"
On the last day of their honeymoon, the couple were packing their clothes away prior to departure. They had bought so many souvenirs that they had great difficulty in closing the last suitcase. They decided that one of them should stand on it whilst the other one attempted to close it. "Darling," said the groom, "you get on top and I'll try". This proved unsuccessful, so the groom said, "Wait a minute - I'll get on top and you try." This didn't work either, so the groom in desperation said, "Look, darling, let's both get on top and try!" At this point, the parrot whipped the blanket off it's cage and squawked, "Zoo or no zoo, this I've got to see!"
Seems a lonely priest decided to get a parrot for a pet. He envisioned teaching the parrot to say the Lords Prayer or the rosary. The local pet store had a parrot but the owner warned that the parrot only says " Hi, I'm Mary Magdeline & I'm a prostitute". The priest says, "This is no problem, I'll teach the parrot new words.
After trying and trying to no avail, the Priest runs into another priest who had two parrots which not only recite the rosary, but also hold the rosary beads. The priest with two parrots also tried to help the parrot say something other than "Hi, I'm Mary Magdeline and I'm a prostitute" but had no luck.
They decided to put the one parrot in the cage with the two parrots so that the two could teach the one to recite the rosary. After putting the parrot in the cage, as expected, it said "Hi, I'm Mary Magdeline, and I'm a prostitute".
The two parrots still holding the rosary beads, smiled and looked to the heavens and said "Alleluia, our prayers have been answered!"
2006-10-10 23:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by pooh22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man traveling on an airplane is sitting next to a parrot. As the stewardess passes by the parrot says, "Hey cute ***, bring me a Whiskey & Soda". The flight attendant just ignores the parrot until the next time she passes when the parrot says. "Hey flying waitress, I ordered a Whiskey & Soda, what's going on?". The stewardess now flustered goes to the galley and returns with the parrot's drink. The man notices that it worked so he says to her "Hey sweet cakes, I want a Whiskey & Soda and I want it now or I'll paddle your behind in front of everyone ". The stewardess runs off and returns not with the man's drink but with 2 Burly Male flight attendants who grab the parrot and man and yank them over to the emergency exit where out they go at 20,000 ft. The parrot says to the man. So know, for someone who can't fly you got a lotta balls".
2006-10-11 02:04:03 · answer #3 · answered by The professor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hillary Clinton went into a pet shop and found a beautiful parrot. "Does this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he does," the manager told her. "But why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?" "Well, ma'am," the manager explained, "not everyone would want to own this parrot since he spent years in a whore house and his language is somewhat foul."
"Well, I want him," she said.
"Suit yourself," the manager shrugged. When Hillary got the parrot back to the White House, she uncovered his cage and admired the bird. The parrot tilted his head to one side, looked her straight in the eye and said, "New house, new madam."
Hillary laughed.
Soon, Chelsea and a friend came in and began admiring the bird. "New house, new whores," the parrot observed.
Hillary explained the bird's history to Chelsea and her friend, so they too, laughed.
Later, the President entered the living quarters. The parrot took one look at him and said, "Hi, Bill!"
2006-10-11 00:12:57 · answer #4 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very very old man was waiting for a bus. Next to him sat a young punk, with a mohawk of green, yellow, and orange. The old gent stared at the punk a while. So, the punk says, "whatsa' matter, old man, you never did anything wild?" The old gent, still staring says, "yeah, I got drunk once and f---ed a parrot, I was just wondering if you're my son."
2006-10-11 00:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by Zeera 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a parrot loves a rabbit
2006-10-11 00:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by Billy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, two actually.
2006-10-10 23:59:38 · answer #7 · answered by luther 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-10-11 02:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋